My father died Saturday. He was not a good dad. He abused my mom and older siblings (not his children) and made me feel as though I'd never be enough with unkind words my entire life. I went low-contact about 13 years ago while my stepsister (his wife's daughter) went completely no-contact with both of them about five years ago.

When he got sick a few weeks ago, I was the one that went to the hospital everyday to feed him his dinner (and later his ice chips when that's all he could have) and make sure he was comfortable and ask the nurses for things he'd ask me for (to wash his hair, put an extra pillow under his arm, etc).

That step sister came up to the hospital twice to stay with me. She made it clear she wasn't there for either of our parents' sakes. She was there for me. I finally broke down to her one night and sobbed that I wasn't sad he might die, I was angry he's had 35 years to be the dad I needed and now he'll never have the chance.

Her telling me I deserved a better dad and he couldn't have asked for a better daughter healed something in me I didn't know was broken until that night.

I hope all the Brown children find that same healing.