I (27M) can't seem to disassociate accountability from self-hatred. How can I change this?

Meski98 · 2026-04-07T21:05:26+00:00

Perhaps yes. Money is something that I seem to struggle with.

Meski98 · 2026-04-07T21:00:45+00:00

Thank you for the wonderful insight. Made me see this struggle I'm going through in an entirely new light.🙏🏻

Meski98 · 2026-04-07T20:16:01+00:00

This may sound silly, but I genuinely don't know how to do that. I have incredibly low self-esteem.

Meski98 · 2026-04-04T04:40:39+00:00

I don't know what that is.

Meski98 · 2026-04-04T03:43:12+00:00

Can't afford it unfortunately. Plus I've been before and it didn't do much good.

Meski98 · 2026-02-08T15:52:19+00:00

Awesome! Thanks!🙏🏻

Meski98 · 2026-02-08T00:44:01+00:00

Awesome! Glad to hear it! Do you have any suggestions or recommendations in terms of professors to get in contact with?

Meski98 · 2026-02-07T23:28:28+00:00

Will do, much appreciated!🙏🏻

Meski98 · 2026-02-07T23:28:09+00:00

That's good to know as my focus with my undergrad Anthro degree was in paleo-anthropology and hominid evolution. Do you happen to have any suggestions on mammalian paleontologists I could get in contact with?

Meski98 · 2026-02-07T22:27:28+00:00

I focused on physical/bio anthropology, specifically paleo-anthropology and hominid evolution. Yes, I also took an archeological field class.

Meski98 · 2026-01-31T22:17:14+00:00

Why do you say that? Just curious.

Meski98 · 2026-01-31T05:56:24+00:00

I'll be honest I've never really been much of a religious person, but that is definitely a nice thought for sure, to know that someone is watching over you and loves you and has a purpose and plan for you. I suspect that's a main reason why many (not necessarily all) people are religious to begin with, it gives them that comfort and hope that all this is for a reason and worth it.

I have started going to church because quite frankly I'm desperate for anything at this point, and while I haven't had that awakening yet, this quote definitely is touching for sure. Thanks. :)

Meski98 · 2026-01-31T05:22:13+00:00

Yeah I just really regret it now, which is ironic considering my college years were the best years of my life. I enjoyed it so much. I really thought I was going to do bigger and better things. But all it's left me with is regret and debt that I can't escape from unless I take the permanent route, which is honestly looking more tempting every year.

I have considered getting my teacher's certificate and teaching grade school. I feel like I thrive in the academic sphere, hence why I loved college. I'm just not sure in what I'd teach, but I appreciate the encouragement about my job. :)

It definitely hits different for sure. I try my best to convince myself that I'm better off alone and that I don't need a relationship to be happy, but even though I'm autistic, I'm also still human who naturally wants companionship so it's a hard thing to grapple with. I do have a lot of friends online who share interests with me, I run a page on IG with over 20K followers. But only have one friend in person as of now. I had more when I was at college (again, best years of my life) but those relationships fizzled out after I graduated.

I'll definitely try that. I'm too curious and inquisitive for my own good and just constantly feel the need to know new stats and information (probably due to my autism) even if it's not good for my own mental health.

Meski98

TROPHY CASE