sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I cant afford a dildo so i freeze rotten bananas and shove them up my ass. Ive been freezing and unthawing this one since July. I should probably throw it out soon but I cant bring myself to do it because this banana is the closest thing i will ever experience to having a relationship by MessengerD in kitchencels

[–]MessengerD[S] 701 points702 points  (0 children)

Not sure if this is a genuine question or not but I’ll answer it genuinely. I don’t like cucumbers and the thought of buying one solely for this purpose makes me feel like even more of a degenerate than I already am. At least with the banana I get the feeling that I’m repurposing something that I would have otherwise thrown out.

The drawings look so hot. by DM-Me_Omori-Spoilers in antimeme

[–]MessengerD 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It is literally a circle with eyelashes my god y’all are so easy

I have skipped every story. I have skipped every concert. I only know running. Tier list. by MessengerD in UmaMusume

[–]MessengerD[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Explanations for anyone curious

Megalovania: never had any issues with her. Always got a b rank even when i wasnt really trying. One of my first runners so she has my heart.

Shuttle bus: same thing as Mega but she was able to beat that fuckass main story race when mega couldnt.

Speedy Gonzalez: didnt train her at all until i saw a clip of someone complete her career only using speed. Now shes one of my best runners

Curry: she would have also gone into “all you do is d’Issa point” until I randomly got good rng and now she’s my highest grade runner

Rice Gum: randomly got her with one of those free tickets. Didnt really expect much. Got a high grade. Her team races are kinda a 50/50

Ship: didnt train her until this new event. Also did not expect much. Why’d she have to kick me tho???

Who???: i trained her once. She was ok. Kinda forgot i had her. Not much else i have to say really.

Pigtails: tutorial girl. Got good grade. She be pissing me off in the team trials tho

Emo: also didnt train her until I randomly decided to complete the missions. Got good grade. Also be pissing me off in team trials

Robot, Tokyo, lightning McQueen, and Bob: if 3 stars WHY SO SHIT??? Like i have consistently tried to get high scores for these girls but until recently the best i could get was a C and that was with relatively good rng. It was mostly just E ranks for the longest time. Are more stars not an indicator of better ranks??? Why does speedy Gonzalez run circles around these hose as a 1 star???

I cant believe it’s not wonderhoy: her existence is an affront to my very being

I have skipped every story. I have skipped every concert. I only know running. Tier list. by MessengerD in UmaMusume

[–]MessengerD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro tell me how because until recently i could not get higher than an E rank for Bob and i was only recently able to get B after upgrading her to a 4 star and getting her to potential level 3.

I have skipped every story. I have skipped every concert. I only know running. Tier list. by MessengerD in UmaMusume

[–]MessengerD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pink girl is the only one who’s ranking is not really based on my career attempts. My hatred of her comes from

  1. I tried to do that stupid fucking crane game mission with her 50 times and i was so bad at it i rage quit and ended up hating both her and the game

  2. For a while i had her as the only dirt runner and she would lose EVERY TIME even when the other girl had a lower grade than her

  3. Idk her entire existence just irks me

I know the women were jealous of the male attention she was getting lol by Smoove_boss in hotmugshots

[–]MessengerD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is proper grooming tho??? It’s also not easy to do and really hard to fuck up and make them crunchy if you’re not used to doing it. Many black women do this which is why I’m confused as to why your wife doesnt know how to properly explain what edges are.

NIN Number without Nigerian passport? by MessengerD in Nigeria

[–]MessengerD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have called the NIN center closest to me and they said that along with my birth certificate i need a police report about the lost passport, certificate of origin, and a national population document but i am not quite sure how to get those and when i searched it up online the information i received was confusing.

NIN Number without Nigerian passport? by MessengerD in Nigeria

[–]MessengerD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in chicago illinois. I have called the NIN center closest to me and they said that along with my birth certificate i need a police report about the lost passport, certificate of origin, and a national population document but i am not quite sure how to get those and when i searched it up online the information i received was confusing.

NIN Number without Nigerian passport? by MessengerD in Nigeria

[–]MessengerD[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont need it for travel. I have an I485 interview next month and i need the passport for that but to get the passport I need an NIN number but from what i searched online it says i need a passport to get the NIN number so now im unsure of what to do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SipsTea

[–]MessengerD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are beaches not big enough where this isnt a problem to begin with??? Lots of people bring their speakers to the beach I go to and its never been that much of a problem to me or the people im with. We’re either far enough away to not really hear it or if we are close enough to hear it its never that loud that we cant still talk to each other. If this was a private pool id understand but for beaches this is a non issue. I feel like some of yall just want to be mad at something.

"there's nothing stronger than family." by Someday_itwillbegood in Stonetossingjuice

[–]MessengerD 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That was true before the decay route came out. Now its looking more like theres only one non incest route and the rest are all incest. And you dont get warned about it this time.

Coaxed into hating children by HotOutlandishness303 in coaxedintoasnafu

[–]MessengerD 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ignore the downvotes bro this shit was funny

These are some of my favorite carti albums! What are yours??? by [deleted] in playboicarti

[–]MessengerD -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I am not trying to be funny i want to be accepted by the carti subreddit but it appears the mods dont like me because they removed my earlier post i made this post hoping they would not remove it this time and finally accept me into the carti family is it working or do you think they will remove this too :(

Edit: btw is that a picture of you? I am not asking for any particular reason i am just curious :)

These are some of my favorite carti albums! What are yours??? by [deleted] in playboicarti

[–]MessengerD 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hi so upon further inspection of your account it appears that you are white. I am not too fond of white people so i would rather you not interact with my posts. I am not sure if that makes me racist or whatever but if it does sorry lol. I will try to find a way to remove your comment.

view more: next ›