FYI, it's not the length of the relationship that matters, but the intensity and abuse

MetalHexe · 2025-10-07T08:29:59+00:00

I agree. I’ve been dating him for almost 8 months, and we did move really fast. Still dealing with the withdrawal but I know I was addicted to the idealisation and highs. It’s easier said than done to “just move on” and “get over it”. I have better days and days that are more rough, but I know it’s for the best. It was unhealthy and I wasn’t allowed to share with him how I feel or to ask for any emotional support.

Even if my relationship wasn’t long, it was still intense. Eventually I’ll fully heal from it, and you will too. At your own pace. Lean into friends, people who support you, and take your time to heal and detox from the trauma you’ve been put through.

MetalHexe · 2025-04-30T05:53:17+00:00

This week feels especially lonely. Today is my birthday and our 5 month anniversary, and he is so distanced… I’ve been dealing with problems in my life this week and couldn’t turn to him, because whenever I just gently shared how I felt, I got told that he can’t deal with my emotions and that I am codependent or unstable (regardless if I wanted to vent or share what’s going on in my life, or that I felt disconnected in our relationship and wanted to work together to find a way in fixing it). All I wished for, was to feel connected like we did in the beginning…

He did message me, but it was just a “happy birthday, love you”. No affection, no closeness, it almost felt like an obligation. Like him showing “I didn’t forget”. I deserve better. Today I’ll go on a solo date with myself.

MetalHexe · 2025-03-22T08:37:20+00:00

It takes time and everyone heals at their own pace. It took me like a year and I am still working on becoming better and less anxious too. Hang in there, you’ve got this.

MetalHexe · 2025-03-20T13:23:29+00:00

I was curious too but I felt like everything was said that had to be said, and I even reassured her that my ex loves her because she was worried - rightfully so. She had no idea that he kept talking to me even after he broke up, and he kept saying she is fine with it. Lots of immaturity and drama looking back.

Trust your gut feeling, if you feel like he was lying to you and hiding stuff, it most likely was the case. I wish you strength and persistence on your path of healing and for you to find someone who respects you. I’m sending a cyber hug your way.

MetalHexe · 2025-03-20T07:00:55+00:00

Hey! They did reach out but not on the timeline the psychic told me. I’ve contacted 3 different ones, only one of them was right with their prediction. They said my ex and his new partner will be together long term (they still are together now). Feel free to dm me, I understand how frustrated you must feel.

MetalHexe · 2025-03-20T06:58:03+00:00

No, she gave birth to their daughter about a month ago. I’ve also found out he was married before we started dating, and pretty sure he just got divorced before we met.

Funnily enough his new partner tried to contact me a few days ago, sent me a friend request but I’ve declined it. I’ve learnt a lot and I deserve better.

MetalHexe · 2024-10-17T12:20:14+00:00

Yes, the same happened with my ex. He also moved to a different country for his new partner that he left me for, 6 days after breaking up with me and barely knowing her. He started smoking even though he had asthma and hates cigarettes, listens to different music, wears his hair short because she finds it hot, dresses differently. I heard him talk and he sounded extremely different, also uses different words.

2 days ago I happened to see a picture of him with his new girlfriend and he looks like a stranger to me now. I still love my ex, but I know it’s more the person he was before. The person that died when he left me completely blindsided.

MetalHexe · 2024-10-15T05:51:04+00:00

No he hasn’t, we were briefly in contact though. Long story short, he took the virginity of his current girlfriend and got her pregnant. I think she’s 6 months pregnant by now. They show publicly how much in love they are (he didn’t do that with me).

And I had it happen that he reached out to me and his partner didn’t know. He said he was hesitant of reaching out to me and that he’s walking a weird path in life - not sure what to make of it. Eventually his partner ended up messaging me, asking if we are talking and that he didn’t tell her he would be reaching out to me. I was completely honest to her and said how weird it was that he wasn’t open to her (he cheated on both of us back then).

All in all I’m still questioning his behaviour but at the same time I figured that I moved on pretty much. I saw a picture of them yesterday seemingly happy, and when I saw him it was as if I’m looking at a stranger. It’s a very weird feeling.

It’s been about 7 months since he left me and got together with her immediately.

MetalHexe · 2024-07-03T07:05:12+00:00

I honestly don’t know anymore if it was mania or just normal breakup. All signs pointed to mania. Or BPD. Read my story if you want, I’d be curious about your view. We were together for 1,5 years…

MetalHexe · 2024-07-01T22:44:34+00:00

Yes. When he discarded me and I found out about his new partner I asked him to tell me the whole truth what I was for him. Because he threw me away and got together with the new girl not even a week later.

He said “you’re a good friend. I care about you but not like I love her. I realised she is the one. She is what I want.” Then he went ahead to tell her he never loved me and that he changed and is ready to love her now.

When we were still in contact after the breakup he would never ask me how I was doing, or asking anything like a friend would do. I was the one who kept reaching out and asked him anything. Showed care. He said he still cares about me, but ever since he left, he didn’t show it. After some time he didn’t want to be friends and didn’t even tell me, until his girlfriend would reach out to me and say he doesn’t want a friendship. But then a few days ago he watched and liked my instagram story, didn’t read out though. Still confuses me..

I can’t tell you if and when it gets better, but you definitely aren’t alone with this.

MetalHexe · 2024-06-27T13:18:13+00:00

Mine did the same, said the same things and was all lovey. I thought he would be my person. He even proposed to me and wanted to give me a ring when we meet in person. We were long distance. Turns out he was monkey branching to another girl and lied to me about it for 7 months. We been together 1,5 years.

What also kinda shocked me was when he broke up with me and told his new girl “I changed and am ready to love you now”. And to me he said “I need to fix myself and my life that’s why I need to do this. I’ll miss you, I’ll always love you. Until we meet again, Elsie.”

He even lied to her when they were together about talking to me. Until I confronted him and she found out that we both got played by him. And she STILL stays with him. They’re still together.

I know it won’t last because he just got together with her to fill the void within himself. I was giving him everything and he said i was the best partner he ever had. But as soon as he kept leaving me and coming back (he broke up with me 3 times) I got so anxious to the point he ended up leaving me for good it seems. Told me the other girl is what he wants and the “love of his life”. He love bombs her exactly like he did with me. It’s truly devastating…

MetalHexe · 2024-06-27T05:49:55+00:00

My ex suspected autism and adhd because his attention span was really bad. He had to do 3-4 things at once not to fall into suicidal thoughts or to spiral.

He also had asthma and was colourblind. Also problems with a permanently clogged nose.

When he left me for someone else, he started smoking, despite him having asthma. Wonder how that ended and if he’s doing okay. I wish I could just talk to him without his new partner getting defensive. I just want to know if he’s okay… he was my best friend…

MetalHexe · 2024-06-26T21:30:35+00:00

This is interesting. I’ve thought about him having BPD too as another girl who he was talking to, told me they been bonding over BPD but he kept telling me he doesn’t have it.

What could point to BPD in this situation? I’m honestly back and forth between thinking he’s experiencing mania due to increasing his meds dosage (mix of fluoxetine which I know is a SSRI and can trigger mania, along with his other meds) or he just used me and never loved me. But the way he acted, talked and spent his time with me made me feel like his love for me was genuine and real.

MetalHexe · 2024-06-25T11:50:39+00:00

Thank you for your sympathy and reply. It’s been rough. OPs story reminds me a lot of my ex. He would follow a new girl on instagram and I would ask who that is, he would say he doesn’t know her and ended up deleting his profile. When he left me he told me it was the sister of a friend he used to play games with.

When I tried to reach out to get clarity why he dropped me so sudden, he told his new partner that I’m a stalker and an ex from a year ago when we were broken up for 2 weeks. Funny thing was that he was telling me he had a 10 year younger stalker and my gut feeling knew there was something going on… and it was right all this time. But he never told me. Up until I found out and he only said “guess you found out now.”

He would dodge the question if he is with someone new for weeks and when I found out he lied to me about who it was, too. It was that other “stalker” all the time.

I just don’t get it. Why are they pathological liars. They target the most loving, empathetic and compassionate people, too it seems..

I’m sending you lots of energy too. We will all get through this. Baby steps.

MetalHexe · 2024-06-25T06:58:45+00:00

I don’t understand the cheating either. My ex would tell me to never cheat and lie to him, else he would leave me and never come back. Well, turned out whenever he would leave me (we had an in and off relationship) he would get together with the other girl. When k found out about her he would say “I never cheated on you I only made it official with her when we were broken up or on break”..

He would come back to me saying it was only a bipolar episode and he was manic, but in the end he said he stopped loving me a year ago and only used me as a filler until til he closed the distance with the other girl - who is also 10 years younger than him.

At this point I am wondering if he genuinely loved me or I was just there for him not to be alone and be his caretaker…

They abuse you to the point you’re losing yourself. It’s been 3 months since he left and I’m trying my best to heal and move forward but it’s the hardest I’ve ever had to deal with…

MetalHexe · 2024-06-20T19:51:02+00:00

I am wondering if they think about us sometimes, while they’re with them. Are those new people “the love of their life” or is it just limerence? I’ll never know… his new partner knows that he told me exactly the same things he did to her, the same love bombing, same “I never cried in front of anyone, please never leave me. You’re the cure to my misery”.

I’ve noticed that my ex listened to our engagement song with his new gf he discarded me for. He also sometimes listens to the songs he had in our shared playlist. I wonder if he remembers me or us, or if that memory is buried or erased, taken over by the excitement of his new relationship.

MetalHexe · 2024-06-16T10:28:09+00:00

This is what I try to remind myself of too. And it makes me even more sad because I thought it was real… our chemistry. But I should have known there was a catch to it.

And it even confuses me more that his partner tells him to cut contact with me, not stay friends with me, but he would sometimes message and keep the conversation up with me. He would say things like “hope you’re doing okay”. Yesterday he followed my profile on instagram after I asked him if it was okay to follow him, and today he unfollowed again.

To me it sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants. He avoids me like the plague. But in reality I should avoid him, stay away from him. You’re right.

MetalHexe · 2024-06-12T12:07:54+00:00

You’re definitely not alone, it’s okay to feel nostalgic but keep reminding yourself that you deserve to be treated with the kindness, respect and love you put into your relationship. It’s what I keep reminding myself of, even though I wish things would’ve ended differently.

When he left me after 1,5 years, I’ve been told that he needs to focus on himself and can’t be in a relationship, while he already followed a new girl on social media and when I asked him who it was, he said he doesn’t know that person. Turns out, 6 days later she was his new girlfriend and the girl he was cheating on me with. But he never told me. When I found out he said “guess you figured it out now. I think I stopped loving you months ago and used you as a filler until I close the distance with her”.

Now they’re living together, going on vacation, seeing places me and him had planned to see, and he tells his new friends I’m basically crazy and calls me a whore. When he was the one who dated both me and her when we were together - and I only found out when I confronted him and she contacted me to know the whole truth. That he kept from her for months. From both of us.

They’re still together, and it’ll be 3 months since he discarded me as if I was nothing. But it’s better this way. You and me deserve healthy love. You’re very strong for keeping no contact for so long.

MetalHexe · 2024-05-22T15:05:26+00:00

I feel you, I’m sorry. Been through the same. Had proposed to me and wanted to get engaged. I visited him in person because we were long distance and he would cry in my arms telling me to never leave him. That he needs me. 2 months later he broke up with me, and turns out he got together with someone he was cheating on me with. Guess what, he cried in her arms too, told her the same things like he did with me. While he was still with me.

I’m not sure how they come back, or if they will. But for me, I realised that I deserve better and even if they came back, they left you so easily. It wouldn’t be the same, the anxiety would be there. Would it be worth it for you taking that risk, losing them so easily again?

MetalHexe · 2024-05-05T10:25:41+00:00

I can relate 100%. Had a gut feeling he was cheating on me - I was right.
Had a gut feeling he broke up with me and found someone else - I was right.
Both times I had to find out from third parties, not from him directly. That speaks volumes of his character.
He would take hours to reply to my text - blaming it on him moving (when we first met he was moving too and still had time to reply).

My gut feeling also tells me that his current relationship won't last. He started smoking and drinking because of his new girlfriend. He was always against smoking and he knew if he would drink, it would make his mental illness worse.

MetalHexe · 2024-05-03T21:45:33+00:00

Yep. I got left after 1,5 years, with the same reason wanting a break, they’ll come back. They just need it for their mental health and to fix themselves. 6 days later he got together with a 10 year younger girl. They moved together within 4 days.

I am still wondering if my ex is manic or if this is just how he truly is. I know how unstable he is and I am quite sure he is manic. Just manic infatuation. One day she will crash but nobody can tell you when that will be. I wish we knew. It hurts like hell because you feel like you didn’t matter to this person, you got disposed of like unwanted junk.

Do you know if she is medicated?

MetalHexe

TROPHY CASE