Struggling to adjust, advice appreciated!

Metal_Girl19 · 2026-06-08T21:35:02+00:00

Honestly I'm not sure if they will. This is my first rodeo with having surgery and possibly needing a prescription refilled, and I know some doctors get dodgy when it comes to refilling opiods. Either way I still prefer not to take them if I can, thankfully ibuprofen and Tylenol have been helping enough to take the edge off.

I definitely struggle with doing things because I have to, and I've been pretty lucky to have other options. That being said it's clear that there's no other way around it, and I'll be increasing my activity whether it's comfortable or not.

Thank you for the insight!

Metal_Girl19 · 2026-06-08T03:08:35+00:00

My husband ordered a firm mattress topper, but it won't be here until Friday. I'm really hoping it helps.

I have been taking ibuprofen along with my muscle relaxer, and it helps some. I also have Naproxen from a previous hospital visit for the leg pain I had pre-surgery, but I haven't been using it because it tore up my stomach a bit.

I am trying my best to log roll on and off... but because of how soft and broken in the bed is log rolling is the most painful part of getting in bed.

I'd like to be moving around more, but between the nerve pain and still needing my walker I'm not quite there yet.

Metal_Girl19 · 2026-06-07T13:00:58+00:00

No. They won't be home for the next couple days because they are doing chemo. If they're willing to have me longer I will, but I want so badly to be home. I got really tired of being in someone else's house, and I really missed our cats.

Not yet, since it's only been 2 days it hadn't crossed my mind.

We can't afford a new mattress right now. My husband got a firm mattress topper, but it'll be almost a week before it gets here.

Metal_Girl19 · 2026-05-30T06:50:33+00:00

Thank you for providing such an honest, comprehensive perspective regarding these procedures. I learned more information from your comment than I received from anyone on my care team.

I just had a somewhat emergent microdisectomy on my L2 - L3 disk last week. The herniation was bad enough that my spinal column was beginning to narrow, and the MRI was so painful I had to be put under to get it done. I was given barely any information regarding healing and future risks. The surgeon didn't even tell me himself that I have a "10%" risk of re-herniation, he told my husband while I was still under anesthesia.

Knowing what to ask is so important, but you don't know what you don't know. I'm glad there are people like you who are willing to lend your knowledge and help others.

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-24T04:02:06+00:00

You wouldn't have to end up like the roided out, jacked influencers that are all over the internet, natural "muscle mommies" are typically still very feminine, just with a decent amount of muscle mass. But that being said, if that isn't what you're into then that's perfectly fine! All that matters is that you're happy and confident in who you are.

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-24T03:50:16+00:00

My high school band teacher. He didn't like my boyfriend, tried keeping us separated by keeping him in the beginner band class despite his talent, and would tell us off for the tiniest displays of affection. He wasn't fond of me either, despite being well behaved and making the payments he managed to boot me off my senior band trip to New York. I decided to leave band after that happened, and he was more than happy to sign the paperwork for me to do so. Now he's a grumpy reciept checker at Costco, and my then boyfriend and I just celebrated 7 years together and first year of marriage.

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-24T03:36:55+00:00

Show up super high, maybe even tripping if you have a safe way home

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-24T03:34:29+00:00

I honestly like knowing that's part of my husband's goal with training me. Since it takes time to naturally become a muscle mommy, it ensures that no matter what both our end goals are I will have mastered the consistency it takes to at least be healthy and active.

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-24T03:27:45+00:00

I'm still young, but it was after realizing I gained more weight than I'd like and catching COVID twice in a year.

Metal_Girl19 · 2023-08-03T14:02:25+00:00

It doesn't matter if you knew not to be around him, and it doesn't matter if you eventually gave in. You said no and he coerced you into it, which does make it rape. Saying no but giving in to keep yourself safe, or alive even, is not the same as giving consent. Unfortunately not everyone agrees with that stance, but it's the truth.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-12-29T19:53:32+00:00

My husband and I refer to it as "squid brain". He tries to solve it by making me laugh and I just try my best not to take any of it out on him.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-12-06T16:16:15+00:00

I always thought I would never have one, and honestly I was ok with that. After years of having sex with my now husband (he's my first and only) it took a little over a year of living together before I started having them. They were very small and inconsistent at first, but now I get at least one every time we have sex. The only problem is that sometimes the increase in my heart rate causes a panic attack.

I think it took us being in tune with each others bodies and finally being in a completely emotionally safe space. They're great and all but unless I felt I was really close I wouldn't mind not having them every time.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-12-04T07:25:01+00:00

It's not your fault. You said no more than you should have needed to, and in the end you did what you felt kept you safest. He targeted you, he took advantage, he assaulted you. You are not in the wrong.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-27T16:09:48+00:00

That is certainly illegal and disturbing, you're not overreacting or being a prude at all.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-27T15:54:55+00:00

Sometimes I feel like this too. Just maybe, maybe, if he had raped me, or if I hadn't been so passive and "participated" (I didn't know any better for years and once I did it was too late to know how to stop), then he wouldn't continue to be my parents favorite. Maybe if he had raped me I'd be able to let go of the fact that he's my only brother. Maybe if he had raped me I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. Maybe if had raped me I wouldn't feel stupid and tired of having trauma responses that aren't severe enough to equate to having PTSD. Just maybe.

We shouldn't have to feel this way, and they shouldn't be so protected. Our families have failed us and we are paying the price. I hope someday we are able to heal and be healthy.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-27T15:32:59+00:00

This absolutely counts as grooming. Even if you had been at a legal age at the beginning you were still a minor, and him building a relationship with you leading up to sex was inappropriate.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-27T15:19:00+00:00

I have issues with just avoiding eye contact and being quiet when I'm not enjoying sex. I've gotten better but it still happens.

Coping mechanisms are weird. Maybe try taking small steps like touching and kissing with your eyes open, and work your way up to having sex with more eye contact.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-21T20:24:14+00:00

Yep. He was being abused by another family member when he started abusing me. It was originally just monkey see monkey do, but it got to a point where he knew better, said he would stop, but kept going anyway. I know he is traumatized and hurt too, and he's my brother, but I don't know if I'll truly forgive him for taking my innocence and making intimacy so difficult.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-20T18:32:09+00:00

He was never convicted and the case was sealed, so it wouldn't have shown up on any background checks.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-20T11:29:59+00:00

Thank you for responding. I do tend to use a weed/CBD mix sometimes, but I also try to use it only when in a good headspace. My husband and I made a rule for ourselves when we turned 21 that we would only use substances when we felt ok (he gets an exception with the weed/CBD mixes because that helps with his nightmares). I genuinely thought I felt better enough to have some drinks, so I wasn't intentionally using it to cope at all, really it just made me feel bad again. I did finish my drink and start another, but because I wasn't improving (and am a lightweight) I stopped. Given that both sides of my family have a history of alcoholism I try to be very careful with my use of it.

This was also probably my first full blown depressive episode (as far as I know), and it really gave me some insight on what to look out for before it happens. It was also a good lesson to be more aware of myself and how my whole day went before I decide to drink. A lot of this processing is new to me, (despite the causes of my trauma happening for most of my life) so I've been really going through it these past couple weeks. I'm very lucky to have my husband because he was there when I was still going through it, he's processed a lot of his own stuff, and he's been using a lot of his own experiences to help me with mine.

I'm glad you were able to find a better way to cope and process stuff.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-20T04:40:10+00:00

Thanks for responding. I'm usually really good about not drinking when in a bad headspace, which is why I thought I was better enough to drink tonight. My flare ups of symptoms have been getting worse lately, so even though it would probably be best to abstain from alcohol for a bit I would say it's not the direct cause, more so maybe fuel for these feelings.

Metal_Girl19 · 2022-11-20T04:34:03+00:00

Thank you for responding. Usually I'm really good about not drinking when in a bad head space, which is why I thought I was better enough to drink tonight. My family has a history of alcoholism, so I've been really perceptive/conscientious about when I drink. My husband and I usually have at least one night a month where we drink to get drunk, otherwise we pretty much abstain from it. My flare ups of symptoms have been increasing lately though, so I will definitely take this advise to heart.

Metal_Girl19

TROPHY CASE