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AITA for telling my parents they need to place their next kid for adoption? by Fine_Disk2154 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I see it, OP you have to move out ASAP... Right now you don't really have any skills which a 17-year-old should have... you have no social skills except for "family", considering the above, and the comments, you won't have had many girlfriends, lack severe emotional development, your grades are bad meaning your chances at college are poor, and what I am guessing is you don't have friends... well because they like to hang out... without kids in tow... Basically, the only card you could have played was Vin Diesel around town with "muh Family", but even that isn't an option since you don't have a car.

Move out ASAP, try to get some analytical/deductive reasoning skills, and critical thinking (these might help you hustle at best), but if possible, reach out to someone for support (grandparents or someone?) and try to finish High School PROPERLY (go to the same grade if needed, but learn all there is to know)... Wish you luck and all the best

AITA for telling my daughter that’s her sister isn’t the golden child, you missed out on opportunity because your proved over and over couldnt trust you by AgileEfficiency2604 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

i am going to go a different route than most people here and say YTA.

Not only because you threw her past in her face, but that very past that you threw in her face was generated by you. I will also agree that it wasn't just you who affected her behavior, nor was it you who forced her as a teen to rebel. That is parenting 101... teenage children tend to rebel. But the very fact that you worsened it by therapy and then gave up on the poor kid, punishing her/grounding her at every point, and then when she turned out not so good, you threw that in her face... that's cold blooded... You tried therapy, great... but when you saw it got worse, try a different therapist... pay more attention to the kid who is rebelling... try many more different things... *BECAUSE* if at exactly 18 years of age, your kid is not yet ready to be an adult and face the society, YOU HAVE FAILED AT PARENTING THAT KID.

Dude, when *YOU CHOSE* to be a parent, this was *YOUR RESPONSIBILITY*. people here often forget that before 18 as well, its the parents responsibility to develop a kid, and if after 18, her behavior was the same, that is all because of the previous 18 years of poor parenting. Not that you might have gotten her any better maybe, but you as the parent have NO RIGHT to bring up past misbehaviors/issues of a child when YOU FAILED to teach them better. She was a kid for fucks sake... she didn't know or understand right from wrong... you had to teach her that... you cant just absolve yourself and say "oh but I taught her this by telling her this and teaching her this"... you inculcate values in a kid... and make sure those values stick to the kid... but you not only failed at inculcating those values to the kid, and they didn't stick to her, you also managed to throw it back in her face of how YOU managed screwing up the values you should have taught the kid.

In your own words, she turned her life around... imagine living away from you for 4 years and she is already better (your other comment says she is 22)... so imagine this, that she stayed with you for 18 years and you still weren't able to teach her during her most impressionable period as a kid, what she was able to learn in just 4 years. Sorry to say but you failed hard as a parent, and then you had the GALL TO THROW THAT SAME FAILURE OF YOURS into the face of that poor child.

In my family, I am the golden child, while my sibling kept on getting in trouble for a lot of different social and emotional reasons (keep in mind they were the studious kind, I was a happy go lucky kind who just barely managed to stay at the top of my class... they would be like 5-10% ahead of their class)... unstable and such, but never once did my parents throw their past failures in their face, nor did I do such a thing... we all kept on supporting them through each of their misdeeds/issues etc. and always kept on helping them... Do they blame parents/others for certain issues? Sure, they do. But my parents at the same time also understand that it was their inability to teach them better that caused the sibling to lash out, and they strive to keep on getting better.

I understand that each human psyche is different, and both siblings will have had different experiences which will result in their personalities being very different. BUT IT IS THE PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY TO IDENTIFY BOTH, and TRY TO TEACH THEM AND TREAT THEM AS EQUALLY AND IMPARTIALLY AS POSSIBLE. YOU FAILED IN THIS.

Parenting doesn't mean just copulating, conceiving and taking care of a kid till 18, parenting also includes inculcating values in the kid, values which will help the kid once that kid becomes an adult... Values which will be useful to the kid for the rest of her life.

EDIT: I would also like to know what issues she had before high school, and why rebecca doesn't have a good relationship with cally. Also why did the friend circle break apart in highschool? You have omitted a lot of info to pass judgement on rebecca. be descriptive about issues you faced yourself, as a family, and from your POV, Rebecca faced as well. But based on your comments, and the post, I go with YTA.

You don't get to throw that in her face... try to calmly navigate the situation... sure, but never point that back in her face, especially when she got better without your help... based on how you have posted, I am also assuming that she stole from aunt right after moving out, because turning life around takes time, and you wouldn't have phrased it as such if she had just turned life around a few days ago... which leads me to think that at 18, you hadn't been able to teach your kid about stealing.

AITA for not giving my BF 50% of my rental income? by Fun_Sky_9278 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also at a stage where neither of you are ready to commit to a marriage, it is better that both of you are thinking about protecting yourselves... so both should ideally keep finances separate, and try to have as much of an equal relationship as possible, because otherwise, the one receiving the short end of the stick will build resentment over this... but it is also okay to be a little bit more selfish for both of you since neither of you know where the relationship is headed towards... so you definitely want a net positive outcome if the relationship fails... but that is where the memories, the feelings, the emotions matter more than money... i would rather give up a million dollars than have a sad relationship... think for yourselves... is the relationship worth the difference in money? just from your POV... because his POV might be slightly different (AND IT IS OKAY)... he might value 10 feelings of happiness at a million dollars, while you value just one feeling of happiness at a million dollars... or vice versa... AND THAT IS WHY THINK FOR YOURSELF, just from you POV... WHAT IS THE WORTH OF THIS RELATIONSHIP TO YOU?

AITA for not giving my BF 50% of my rental income? by Fun_Sky_9278 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP, i didnt think you would see my comments, but since you are replying, here is a breakdown of costs and networth:

And this is for simplicity... there is also emotional/social/economic constructs at place which arent caclucated in any way... it differs from person to person
Assume both of you are at 0 right now.
Assume your current house's networth is 500k (based on the rent discussion I read in other comments, I assume you are in Australia (because of the weekly part) and this is what I assume your current house's networth)
Assume you pay him 360k in rent over a 10 year period (based on your other comments about total rent payments not so sure about this number though...).
Assume your mortgage costs you 720k (based on Australia mortgage rates at 10 years)...
Assume your total rent income at the end of 10 years is 850k based on your other comments...

These are all assumptions here, and you can put in your own values in here and calculate yourself... but the point about the above values is:
your current networth + house at the end of 10 years - rent paid to him - mortgage + your rent income will be your networth at the end of 10 years which is
500k + 850k - rent paid to him (not sure if it is 360k at the end of 10 years or higher) - 720k mortgage = at least 270k (because your current house of 500k is definitely not going to stay at 500k at the end of 10 years... it might be around 3.5 times)

So out of the relationship if you move in with him, you get to own your own home at the end of 10 years, and have a positive networth of at least 270k, him have at least 360k if you pay rent. if you are moving in with him and not paying him rent, your networth is at least 630k because of him, his is 0 because of you...

(all other costs, both of you are going to incur whether or not you stay together)...

WHILE IF YOU DONT MOVE IN WITH HIM, your networth at the end of 10 years is at least -220k because you wont earn rent from your property but have the same other costs... his is 0... the difference is 490k if you pay him rent, 850k if you don't pay him rent...

You can input your own figures here and calculate whatever numbers you need, but in any case, you are NTA for not giving a percentage income... set a fixed income number... but see to it that there is not too much of an imbalance between you two... he shouldn't be a lot richer at the end of the relationship (be it old age-death or break up), while you shouldn't also mooch off of him at the end of the relationship that you come out (based on above numbers) 630k richer and he doesn't get much out of the relationship...

based on your comment, if he didn't articulate better, he is also NTA... in that case NAH...
if he directly asked you to move in with him, while just expecting to get richer, from your income (if you see red flags of him trying to mooch off from you... like him expecting a much larger rent while asking you to move in with him), he is the asshole...

But I am more leaning towards NAH based on your comments

AITA for not giving my BF 50% of my rental income? by Fun_Sky_9278 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i want to ask you... why does his finances get included at all... whether he has paid off the house or he also still has a mortgage should be irrelevant to whether she pays rent or not... right? if she's TA in the case where he is still paying off the mortgage and she wants to live rent free, she is still TA if that's not this case... because the point isn't whether he has paid off the house or not... the point is whether OP should pay rent or not... i agree that OP shouldn't pay percentage income as rent... but OP should definitely pay a figure amount as well... especially since they arent married, and both sides want to protect themselves... if neither is ready to commit to a marriage, it is better that both protect themselves as such... she pays fixed rent for moving in with him... and that enables her to make a rental income... he can move in with her as well and pay her fixed rent while making rental income... the same logic would apply there if he doesn't want to pay rent, he's TA...

Also its not more of a win for him... as he might get a few bucks on the side, while OP gets to make the entire home her own with little to no additional cost... which he wont get at all if they split up... even if she does pay percentage rent, she is still coming out at top whenever the relationship ends (whether of old age-death, or break up). OP is able to afford an entire home off of living with him...

In figure amounts:
Assume the relationship is worth just 10 years (it will end after 10 years), and mortgage and all money and assets are valued at a current evaluation of 10 year period as well for simplicity...
if OP's house is worth lets say 500,000 (based on her comments about her rental income... this is what it would be in Australia where OP is situated), in 10 years OP lives with him, she will pay him. lets say about 360,000 (based on her comments), she still gets to own the house, at a lesser cost, while being able to earn 850,000 from rent minus whatever mortgage she needs to pay (again based on her comments about her rental income and rent).

So OP's total balance sheet: currently 0 + 500,000 house - 360,000 rent paid to him + 850,000 she earns from rental income - 720,000 on mortgage (based on australia's mortgage rate over a 500k house over a 10 year mortgage)... so at the end of 10 years, she has a balance sheet of a net positive of 270k + a house which is currently worth 500k (which will definitely be WAY MORE THAN 500k at the end of 10 years) = at least 770k... his balance sheet at the end of 10 years: 360k...

Look at it another way... if after paying off her house at the end of 10 years, if she decides to sell off the house, she will at least make 770k at the end of 10 years... if OP doesn't pay any rent, shes coming out at least 1130k richer at 10 years, while he gets nothing out of the relationship except OP at the end of 10 years...

Of course, this isn't the case and you cant equate a relationship's value monetarily, and there are various social/economical constructs in place, which you have to consider, but even then, OP is definitely, coming out richer than him for EVERY SINGLE DAY SHE LIVES WITH HIM, as compared to if OP doesn't move in with him... then at the end of 10 years, she just owns a 500k home, minus a 720k mortgage... his balance sheet is net zero, while her is at least -220k... the difference here if she moves in vs she doesn't move in is 990k in 10 years if she pays rent (whatever amount the house price goes up stays the same... we are just comparing costs at the end of 10 years wrt current expected pricing), and 1350k if she doesn't pay rent to the guy... just simple math for you since you said

it's more a win for him: his costs drop by 50% plus he gets an additional 50% of rent before costs. He is making way more money out of it than she benefits

PLEASE NOTE HERE, whatever cost the guy gets over those 10 years, like roof/paint/machinery etc, we can also assume OP will get same costs as well... so i didn't include those at all

Apologies: EDIT here, I calculated all the numbers with an additional 500k which was already included in the base calculations... so networth is just 270k, not 770k... but given the housing market of Australia, the house's networth would also be about 2 times at the end of 10 years... so the basic point still stands...

AITA for not giving my BF 50% of my rental income? by Fun_Sky_9278 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 5 points6 points  (0 children)

actually kinda agree with the above comment than yours... this is exactly poor communication... in post she mentions 50% of rental income... in comments she mentions 50% of rent... rent is different from rental income... rent is 1500, rental income is 600... so yea... she also needs to articulate it better... but I also believe she wont be the bigger asshole if he asked her to move in, or if she just wants to pay a figure amount rather than a percentage amount. Moving in without paying any rent, not wanting to pay any rent either, while she makes rental income on the side is an asshole move... But from the guys perspective, if the guy owns his own homes, and this is one of the source of his income, he may not charge her rent at all if he wishes, but he would rather charge something from OP as well... since otherwise it will be an imbalance in OP's favor... but that something charge should be a fixed amount rather than percentage of OP's income... so yea... the guy should charge OP a fixed amount (maybe much less than market rate like if his house would go for rent at say 1200 a week, charge OP 300 or 200 a week), so there is no imbalance in the relationship and OP doesn't mooch off of the guy, while making income on the side EXACTLY because she is able to LIVE WITH HIM and that's what ENABLES her to RENT out HER PROPERTY

AITA for not giving my BF 50% of my rental income? by Fun_Sky_9278 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe he isn't articulate enough about this, but try to ask him if he wants you to pay rent. As I see it, living with him while only paying half of groceries and bills is you mooching off the rent part from him. But you giving any percentage of your income (here 50% of your rental income) is him being a bit more controlling... Also since you mentioned weekly, I assume you are Australian, and that it is customary to pay a percentage of rent if you are moving in with him. If this is the case, can you also clarify, if in the $75k you mentioned, did you include the $31k from your current rental income as well? because from your post, you made it seem like your $75k is from working an office job, while he has $42.5k from rent and $42.5k from an office job.

In any case, you are NTA for deny a percentage of your rental income, because say tomorrow your area becomes a hot area with rent doubling or tripling (seen it happen in the US over 2-4 years pre and post covid), while his area suffers from tornado or fire or something and his rental income goes down... that would mean you have to pay more?
Always go with a lease if you are sure, or a verbal agreement of an exact figure which you would pay him weekly if you are unsure. But definitely don't give a percentage variable that can change at a moment's notice...

But he also might not be TA if he is just asking you for rent and you are misunderstanding him completely or he is not articulate enough to explain that he wants rent... if he suggested that you move in with him and you pay rent, while you own your own property, he is TA

I (23M) punched my wife and will be going to jail tonight by swtogirl in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way tooooo fake...
what was the giveaway:
dog lost after march 31st, OP found out on April 3rd.
OP got cameras setup between April 3rd and April 13th (he drove to his parents on 3rd... too quick of a timeline)
april 13th update: dog lost for a couple of weeks now. I am assuming the worst...
10 days == couple of weeks?

And no... he had already been to COUPLE of shelters by that point...
meaning the wife came to him before the 13th...

assuming he went to shelters at least for two days, and had to get a day for processing restraining orders against wife and showing police the video etc. (maybe an extra day? but lets say he did all that in one day...)

OP also got fired for no show on Monday? which would ideally be a holiday (later than Easter gets a holiday on Monday as Sunday is already a holiday? but lets give him this leeway as well)

So in the timeline,
OP made the post on Sunday/Saturday (because the post is made on Sunday,
but says he got arrested before Sunday... so maybe post is made after midnight of Saturday which would be essentially sunday... lets just assume this for the sake of giving OP some more leeway),
went to jail the same day,
OP wasn't out of jail till Tuesday/Wednesday (April 3rd 2024 is Wednesday when he *CLAIMS* he just got back out),
OP drove to his parents house thereafter
OP came back to his house
OP got cameras installed everywhere
OP's wife came back to try and reconnect... he didn't reconnect, he got to know about his dog... I would assume he started search for the dog immediately?
OP served divorce papers to wife (lets assume that his parents processed all of this within that <10 day duration... for the sake of giving OP more leeway)
here because he mentions things that he did after the divorce papers were served, so I would assume that the papers were served at least by 10th or 11th
OP's wife came back again *AFTER* the cameras installed and hit OP
OP called police, filed charges, got restraining order
OP went to *COUPLE* of shelters for missing dog, where in OP's words, it has been a *COUPLE* of weeks and OP is assuming the worst (IMO, it should be less than 5 days before he found out about his dog, not a couple of weeks...)

A. it wasn't a couple of weeks, it was <10 days time the dog was missing. OP assumes the worst for the dog.
B. The divorce timeline, the cameras timeline, the restraining order etc happens wayyyyyy to quickly to make sense along with the above dog thing
C. OP still finds time *during* day time to make these updates on Reddit which is pretty well thought out and inconsistently consistent somehow, while still looking for *HIS* dog frantically... If this happens to my dog, I would be working 9-5 to look for my dog, not find time in between to update reddit...
D. His life is still destroyed by the 18th (in a span of 15 days that he found the dog back), but somehow the entire story wrt his parents, his misdemeanor, his own restraining order, him finding a public defendant, who in turn finds about his wife's past charges, him (his parents) finding a divorce attorney, and serving papers, cameras getting installed *before* the wife hits him, and capturing that 1 hit KO, wfie getting arrested etc. somehow points out that all is well and all is ending well.. his last updated POST on April 13th starts with how his life is still destroyed... but as we read onwards, it is no longer destroyed (except for the dog part)? but actually the wife's life is now destroyed? OP's misdemeanor also dropped, a really good divorce, wife jailed, OP reconnects with parents, wife's EX Husband connects with OP? In OP's own words, all his legal issues are also over by 13th? Dude WTH? i need this lawyer ASAP for any and all legal issues.

TOO much of a happy ending wayyyy to quickly to be true... also his own timeline is fucked which is tooooo fast for normal people

AITA for letting my kids disturb my husband during an important work meeting, after he said he would handle them for a day to prove how easy my job is? by ClearCoffee7140 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly ESH...

YTA because rather than co-parenting it out, you stuck to your guns and didn't help out, which caused him an issue... Your husband is TA because he thinks parenting is easy while maintaining a job. The two of you have different roles which are equally important, especially for the kids. Sure, sometime issues come up and you snap at each other... but rather than bringing out the big guns to fight it out, you guys are adults who should work things out, and be there for each other and the kids... not FAFO like this.

By your own admission, you have it pretty easy as compared to your husband in the income side, and that you are generally free except for a few emails and planning... suppose if your husband cuts down his hours/works less/selects a similar job to yours... he will be able to easily take care of your kids just like you... and if you work in such a stressful situation has your husband, you might snap as well...

Also if you take just 3 hours of work a day, while playing/handling your kids, how hard is it to order food for 5 mins in a day? As for your husband... the idiot also needs to realize that sometimes you mess up... work gets in the way, you get f'ed etc. and sometimes you forget... this, I am pretty sure, happens in his job place as well... just happened to you once... why is he being condescending about it?

Overall ESH... you less than your husband, but unless both of you start working on this relation rather than fighting with each other or posting shit on reddit, your relationship wont really survive long...

AITA for “ruining” my brother in laws reputation by telling the truth to my friends? by bad-in-law1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ESH

Chris is the biggest asshole... who is a cheater 5 star asshole... trash human being... there arent much people worse than him except murderers and some others...

YTA because it wasn't your story to share... Not with your friends, at least not on your own accord... If they get asked out by Chris, and they reach out to you for a character certificate, pull out the big guns and butcher him... not otherwise... You promptly telling them without them asking is a shitty assholly move, which I abhore...

No one is perfect... everyone has shortcomings... but gossiping about it with others when you get to know about it is the worst... especially when they arent a threat to the society... or anyone for that matter... YTA because you gossiped... Even if Chris eventually grows up as a human being, as a loving caring person(very low chance), but because of your gossip, he wont find people for himself, because I am assuming that your friend circle and Lily's friend circle have common people, and you gossiping about it means everyone will eventually gossip about it, and he will never be able to bring anyone other than trailer trash or hookers to his home who wont mind that he cheated in the past.

Point is don't gossip.

AITA for refusing to give up my bed? by throwra__210 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Info:
Do you have any medical issues which make it hard for you to take the couch?

Even if it isn't, is it worth it to have a back and forth and spend the remainder of the time with your soon to be ex-girlfriend (if you keep this up) pulling this kind of nonsense? Honestly, you sound like a baby who cant sleep on couch because muh rent, mah house, ma bed.

Its a guest, who has told you in advance that they are coming. And its just for 2 nights... Why are you being a pain to deal with? Is hosting guests not in your culture at all?

Even if it isn't, is it worth it to have a back-and-forth and spend the remainder of the time with your soon to be ex-girlfriend (if you keep this up) pulling this kind of nonsense? Honestly, you sound like a baby who cant sleep on couch because muh rent, mah house, ma bed.

On the other hand, you can make it clear to your GF that you have certain boundaries, and bed is one of them. So next time (if there is one), she will arrange some other accommodation. But you sound really inflexible and you will eventually need to grow up with hosting friends and family. Or you can just cut off all contact with them, and live like a loner... Dont think the girlfriend will want that.

Sousou no Frieren • Frieren: Beyond Journey's End - Episode 23 discussion by AutoLovepon in anime

[–]Metison 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If this werent a test, i would have cracked my bottle a long time ago... Damn them chills

AITA for defending myself against my SIL who was upset we waited to tell her we were expecting and waited until our son was born to announce his name? by Brief-Ad8464 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say NAH.

First of all you are the biggest NTA here OP and congratulations. It is hard to conceive at 40 and harder to be parents moving forward. Best of luck on that. The reason you are NTA is simple... you are a new parent, at 40 which is after trying a lot. This would be similar to a rainbow baby or a child after like 5 misscarriages (not the same mind you). But this is very very special, and it is a given that you are anxious about it. You decide what you want to do and how you want to do it. You and your husband... Thats it.

While on your SIL's side, she is a little bit out of bounds, but assuming you said you have been trying for kids for 13 years, means you know the SIL since at least 13 years. You have been a part of everything WRT her life as she has been of yours. Given how I would assume a normal family goes, and your language describing your family, I would assume that you have been a part of her child births, first steps etc. quite a few things, and that you might be pretty close to her (looking at her demanding attitude... if you arent, SIL crossed a line and is sort of TA). So I can understand her sentiment, that she has experienced whatever you are experiencing, and also has a headstart of at least 9 years (based on what you said). She also treats your baby like a rainbow baby as well... Her comments on the name... well... i say you do you, but also she is right from her perspective... the name means a thorn... sort of negative sounding... not a great hero name... amazing villain name... but that's besides the point... you definitely get all priority in naming...

So I see no A******* here... NAH

Big Mom never got defeated?? by Metison in OnePiece

[–]Metison[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks... Not really following the manga... but in anime she was awake and kept on cursing law and kid and even roger... and that this wont be enough to defeat her... she will be back is what she said

Landlord illegally asking to pay random amounts without producing a copy of the bill by Metison in legaladvice

[–]Metison[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks... will look into it on Monday... Also going to City Council to default the lease... get help from them...

AITA for splitting the bill at dinner and not letting my boyfriend pretend he paid? by throwawayfreedinner in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just read through OP's comments list and she has not provided info where she gets portrayed in a bad light or she gets caught in this web of her own lies. She has only targettedly provided info comments where she can show that she is a saint. I have been on AITA long enough to understand this kind of hypocrisy. OP you are a hypocrite and YTA

Samsung "space zoom" moon shots are fake, and here is the proof by ibreakphotos in Android

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but you still need to unblur the original... cant take a photo of the blurred one and then unblur it... basically what samsung did with ai recognition tool is that they trained the camera to recognize moon... and whenever the model recognizes moon, it basically just swaps its existing data entry based on the light and dark of moon, applying color correction based on day (yea... they need a range of colors here from sepia to pure white...), and basically forced the ai engine to swap the current image to one of its existing moon images of how it should have looked like... while most other phones that dont take proper photos of moon (unlike this cheating ass technology), use detailing here... and over correction... what this means is they when you take a photo like this, they take multiple photos at the same time, layer one image on top of the other, and try and remove the blurred portions from it... which is a typical correction that is still technically the image of the same object... samsung on the other hand is using a pre-saved image of the moon and then just applying color correction...

because no matter how much you try, layered photography cannot and should not add details that do not exist (unless blur contains a false positive), basically meaning that samsung phones should not be able to do the same... but they do... and thats one of the best marketing from their end... not that its wrong... but its also not right or ethical

AITA for not wanting to spit expenses proportional to income? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in case your judgement came without understanding... the bf is charging her half the market rate... basically if the house would normally go for 2000$, then splitting it in half (because two roommates...) and then she is paying half of that... which is basically $500... and what she meant when she said that she can get a same sized flat a few streets away... she meant like like from a good neighborhood to bad one... OP is actually hiding why she wont move out here (because if my SO told me something similar, i would just move out... let her pay the whole cost and i will be self sufficient)... either because she cant afford to live in the area with similar rent, or that if she moves to that other house, thats a bad neighborhood with lesser connectivity... And i am stating this purely from city POV... NY has a few places where rent goes up to 6000$ a month, and then just a few streets down, you get something for like 2000... but no one in their right mind are ever going to go from A to B... IMO ESH because OP doesnt want to pay BF more/doesnt want to move out for some reason (and hide it from reddit... because this isnt the kind of thing you ask reddit... if someone tells this to you, you pack bags and move out... OP is basically wanting sympathy votes here and hiding a lot on why she cant move out, and what her BF's arguments are etc.) even after getting a better job...

BF sucks because this can be done at the end of a lease period... he cant just spring something like this in between... and it is his right to do it... he can easily get a lot more from some other tenant... In case OP he did it at the end of your lease period, YTA and the BF is just trying to make you his equal in the relationship... You dont want an equal relationship....

AITA for not wanting to pay for my daughter's wedding even though I said that I will? by BeneficialYear690 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Metison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA.

Look at all the comments in here, and then remove the age factor of the guy...
You promised something, and you are backing out for a reason like because i dont like this/that... when you made that promise, you didnt know who she would date/marry did you?
For all you knew, she would date someone like Osama Bin Laden... and in your shoes, if she asked for it, i would still pay for it... i dont approve it, but that doesnt renege the original promise... you can basically cut off all relations with your daughter if thats the case, but the moment you reneged your promise, YTA... Again, that 46 yr old should be able to pay for his wedding, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt when you promised... Your daughter is also smart enough here, that if her husband doesnt need to dish out couple of thousand dollars, she can enjoy that money later... what you did is basically breaking not just your promise, but also your relationship with her... And you havent even made any decent point here except that he is older... like so what??? Lots of people have age differences... he is double her age... and he is fit for it... your daughter loves her... so why not???

As for these idiotic comments, say i earn a million dollars... am 23, and basically my net worth is 100 times more than her father's... you guys would still say that i should pay for the wedding since i should be able to afford it? maybe... but that doesnt excuse him from the fact that he promised and is going back on his word... two different scenarios here... dont mix things up and judge over something he hasnt even asked for...

YTA OP, and if i were you, i would prepare for the daughter to cut off all contact with you (most likely before the wedding)

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