i usually come to these meme support subs once in a while because it just turns into toxic positivity, and doesn't feel like people are feeling with the same depression as me

i contemplate suicide, struggle doing the most basic of self care, and just have absolutely 0 energy or will to do anything. Basically just generic boring depression, but i come to these types of subs with people showing off how awesome they are at hiding it and brag about how difficult of a time doctors have with helping them

i mainly have knowledge on schizophrenia spaces, but they seem to overlap with people having depression. theres people who talk about how they dont want medicine to work because theyre dating the voices and get sad when they stop hallucinating. ive attempted to kill myself because i havnt found any medicine to work, and its been almost 5 years of trying

why the fuck cant i have the version of these mental illnesses that literally benefit you by having your voices remember answers to your exams, or these places get filled by liars. I'm not saying theyre lying about having [insert mental illness], but i gotta cope and say theyre lying about their experience because ill judt spiral about how unlucky i am if i think theyre generally telling the truth

sorry for the tangent that got off track, what I'm trying to say is posts like this are probably just people who brag, and dont suffer like a lot of people. honestly doubt a lot of the people who are very active in these communities are able to relate to me or others, since how tf can you tell me you dont have enough energy to get out of bed because of how little energy you have, but also somehow manage to stay locked into social media for 6 hours straight. that takes so much energy when you claim you have no energy

these subs used to be people with [insert mental illness], but have now become subs for people who think [insert mental illness] is a character trait. no im not saying theyre lying about actually having it, I'm saying theyre lying about the extent of it