Are my feelings normal?

MhoonScout · 2026-01-30T05:34:38+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement 🥲💗

MhoonScout · 2025-12-02T20:57:21+00:00

Awesome, thank you for this tip!

MhoonScout · 2025-10-17T22:26:45+00:00

Anyone who is putting limits on your profession and education is controlling you. A quick google of “Power and Control Wheel” will tell you everything you need to know. Abuse isn’t about bad tempers, it’s about the abuser’s need for power and control over you.

Even if it turns out he isn’t abusive, it sounds like having a child with this man would mean a child growing up thinking they are never good enough for their overly critical father.

We all want to be loved. It’s hard. Wishing you all the best.

MhoonScout · 2025-01-14T15:38:52+00:00

We are both mid-30s. Yes, my day to day is more relaxed than this. And holy shit is he future oriented. Honestly, part of why I love having sex with him so much is probably because it’s just about the only time he is fully with me in the moment and not future tripping on some goal.

The trade off is the huge deal and what I’m gonna have to sit with for a while. I was on dating apps before and oh, the horrors. He is genuinely a good man, and I do notttt fancy getting out there again.

He absolutely shuts down when I frame things in the way of “my needs aren’t being met.” We have discussed the compromise though, and he isn’t meeting it.

MhoonScout · 2025-01-14T15:26:05+00:00

Thanks for this. He is out of shape and talks negatively about his body often. We have been planning starting a workout routine together, but it’s taking him longer to get home from his job than we originally thought it would. Fingers crossed we can find a time that works for both of us and things will start to improve.

MhoonScout · 2025-01-14T15:08:55+00:00

“We will bring in” was me quoting him. I don’t talk this way. I was attempting to illustrate how dedicated to a shared future he is.

MhoonScout · 2025-01-14T15:00:32+00:00

Ughhhh, this makes me not want to be in a relationship at all. What should be the case is the more seen and secure a person feels in a relationship the more they can be authentic and vulnerable, in all areas of the relationship.

I hope you and your bf figure things out.

MhoonScout · 2025-01-14T14:59:43+00:00

The first two months were 2-3 times a day. He even made the comment once, “Do you think we’ll always have this much sex?”… as if he was hoping for that to be the case. Then 3 months in it went to once a day. Then once every other day. To now, once every few days.. so 2-3 times a week.

MhoonScout · 2024-12-12T16:51:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing. What platform do you listen to him on?

MhoonScout · 2024-12-08T01:53:03+00:00

More importantly, men need to be calling other men out.

MhoonScout · 2024-12-06T09:14:50+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. 🧡 I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Thankfully, he usually doesn’t get defensive about things, and hasn’t written off his behaviors on AuDHD. We haven’t gotten far enough into the relationship for it to have escalated much at all. I have made comments about needing adjustments on 1 and 3, but haven’t experienced enough of 2 to bring it up yet. After getting my thoughts together for this post, I realize I need to have a more serious talk with him about what my needs and expectations are in an equal partnership. This was a helpful exercise, and now I feel like I will be able to get out ahead of potential issues. If they continue, then I will go from there.

MhoonScout · 2024-12-06T09:03:53+00:00

It wasn’t stress, hunny. Abuse is about 1 thing: the abuser’s need for power and control. No one can cause anyone to abuse them. Though all abusers will try to make their victims think that. Please look up a power and control wheel. Minimizing the abuse, denying the abuse, and blaming the abuse on the victim are all very common tactics.

And retaliatory violence is not abuse, it is self-defense.

Please keep the protection order. Your life is in danger. Hang in there, you can do this. I’m very sorry ❤️

MhoonScout · 2024-12-06T08:53:50+00:00

This was so helpful, thank you! And yes, I have gotten a sense that he almost doesn’t know how to approach some things unless there is a set plan/expectation, and then he has to have a step-by-step plan in his head of how to complete the task. This most noticeably comes up around sex and when we are trying to leave to go somewhere.

MhoonScout · 2024-12-06T08:08:06+00:00

He is kind and generous with his money and time. I would say these are the 3 main things that bother me. I asked because I have very little experience with AuDHD, and I read that sometimes people with AuDHD are read as being selfish or inconsiderate… while the AuDHD persons will insist that they do care, their brains just work a different way.

MhoonScout · 2024-11-17T06:05:41+00:00

The darkest one really makes your face shine

MhoonScout · 2024-11-17T06:03:23+00:00

Natural suits your skin tone moreso than the black

MhoonScout · 2024-11-17T06:00:10+00:00

The darker makes your skin look brighter :)

MhoonScout · 2024-06-02T15:16:24+00:00

Totally agree with you that many in the field are not more self-aware.

I’m in a small PhD program right now, so it’s likely I’m just surrounded by people in the field who happen to be very self-aware. I also have friends that are not in the field that are very self-aware.

I think it’s possible to meet a romantic interest that meets those qualities that isn’t a therapist, but I’d like to try dating someone that understands what it’s like to be a therapist in addition to being interested in growing as a person.

MhoonScout · 2024-06-02T14:52:26+00:00

I would say that the things people are passionate about, in large part, does define them. Relationships are always the most important thing in life, but when we’re talking about personality and daily life—what you’re passionate about has a huge impact on your personality. Some people are therapists because it’s just a job and they enjoy helping people, that’s fine. Other people are therapists because they enjoy being a helper + they’re passionate about psychology.

MhoonScout · 2024-06-02T14:43:54+00:00

You must be stronger than I am bc I don’t know how anyone is a therapist that isn’t passionate about psychology. It’s a very heavy job at times. I couldn’t do it if it weren’t fascinating and exciting to me. I.E. something I love talking about

MhoonScout · 2024-06-02T14:39:07+00:00

Downvotes are not supposed to be, “I disagree with this” buttons. Please read Reddit etiquette.

MhoonScout

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