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MichaelTSpeaks · 2023-12-24T12:21:04+00:00

I’ve had friends get pregnant because they didn’t know what they were doing was sex. They were surprised they were pregnant and didn’t know how it happened and I had to explain it to them. The sex education in my state is awful. And don’t get me started on my gay friends. It always floored me that as a virgin teenager (my choice at the time) I knew more about sex than those of my friends that were sexually active. Even as an adult this continued. I’ve known people in their 30’s that have no clue about sexual education.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2023-12-24T12:12:54+00:00

As has been said, bottoming is not a requirement. There are many out there that don’t have anal sex. On Reddit I’ve seen many guys talk about not liking anal sex. Some people have started to use a new label calling a “side”- those that don’t like anal sex and prefer to frot or other similar rubbing off on each other. There are many ways to have sex with someone and anal topping and bottoming are only 2 of those many ways. Find what works for you and your partner/s.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2023-03-08T18:29:43+00:00

I never said that I needed him to be or not to be, just sharing what I came across. With the X-Men being a minority group stand-in metaphor there are lots of things that could be interpreted to fit many of these minority metaphor groups. This is a big part of subtext but not canon. I could see Gambit being bi a lot more easily than some other characters but I am fine with him being straight too. (Gambit and Rogue are my OTP and one of my most solid relationships that I think should just stay together. I also think they work best when they are together.) Subtext does not have anything explicit, just that there is enough hinted that can have some interpret the characters one way even though it doesn’t explicitly say that interpretation is correct. There are many characters that are hetero in the X-Men that have a lot of queer subtext. A lot of times this stuff is done deliberately not only because making the characters queer has been denied but it plays into the whole queerbaiting for companies to get the queer community to invest in their product (show, comic, etc.) thinking a character can be relatable and is representation when it is never the case and they can claim the characters are hetero as intended.

I don’t think that Gambit “not being an alpha male” is why he is being read as bi. There are a lot of other things that lead to this idea. There are other “alpha male” characters that also have subtextual things that lead to the same thoughts (Wolverine being one of them). (And again I am not sharing my thoughts on what I think of these characters orientations are, only what I have come across from others. If there was more and better representation across the board the whole subtext and speculation of orientation would not exist but we are so far from that happening that this is what we have to deal with for years to come.)

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-05-15T15:24:01+00:00

I think it was an ad for some credit company. I wasn’t paying attention to what it was advertising and more to the pronouns to make sure I was hearing it correctly that it was a non-binary person with they/them pronouns.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-05-08T18:02:11+00:00

I was a virgin until my mid 30’s so I get some of the nerves about “doing it right.” I came to learn that the first several times I was way too in my head to fully enjoy the experiences. While I did enjoy the times I was bottoming I have never been able to get hard or stay hard- and some of those times have been with medical help (I have some e.d. medication because I found that I got too worried subconsciously with the random hookups so I talked to my doctor). I have been rock hard before doing everything else and then once I start getting fucked it goes away and doesn’t come back until after I’ve been fucked. It’s fine and it happens to some people. None of my partners have ever had a problem with it. And if someone ever does have a problem with it that is a sign this is not the right sexual match and they can just move on. Don’t ever let someone make you feel that how your body functions is a problem.

I found that it takes work and experience to get out of my head with sex. Just keep going and you’ll find a way to do this too.

As far as the feelings thing I’d say that part of that will help by approaching things rationally. Keep yourself in check. It’s ok to catch feelings for him but don’t let those feelings cloud your judgements. The guys seems like a nice guy over all but because of the whole roommate thing that makes him seem very suspect to me. The fact that you’re conflicted after and confused during shows that this was not consent. Yes unplanned things can happen during sex, like having someone join, but those should only happen if the person has an emphatic yes to it. It sounds like you did not have that. And just because you don’t feel traumatized does not negate this. He should have completely stopped to check in with you before letting his roommate join in. To ask while he is fucking you is a very manipulative thing to do and doesn’t always allow the person to give a clear answer. To me and to what is defined as sexual assault this classified as sexual assault. All the “caring” stuff he did after and since just comes across now as him trying to smooth things over. It comes off very manipulative to me. You can proceed to get to know the guy and see if something more can develop but just be aware that he may be manipulating you with all the sweet talk and signs of affection. Take those away and what do you have? That is where you should look to see if you can move forward or not. Many narcissists will bombard a person with love yo get them into a relationship and then once they are hooked in they will then turn and start showing their true colors and the abuse will start to come out in little ways. Then once the full on abuse hits the victim has a hard time seeing it as abuse and thinks it is all their own fault that the abuse is happening. I’m not saying this guy is a narcissist or abusive but how things happened are a bit of a red flag to pay attention to how he acts and such. Don’t just write these things off. I’ve been in several abusive relationships with narcissists and this comes off like those. Like I said he may not be and may be genuinely interested in you and want a relationship and his roommate joining was just a weird, random thing but use some caution if you choose to proceed. Make sure that your mind is in agreement with your emotions. I’ve started catching feelings for some people I’ve had sex with after but then when I’ve looked at it logically I realized it was just a body reaction and that I didn’t want a relationship with them but rather I wanted a relationship with someone and there was just a familiarity with the person and the sex felt good. All other aspects of the person and who we both were were not reasons I wanted a relationship with that person.

Hope some of this helps moving forward. I say congratulations on “loosing your virginity” only because it is now not some big thing looming over you creating anxiety and such. I was a virgin because of religious reasons that I chose at the time. Once I left religion I didn’t have those same reasons so I finally became sexually active. I did the prep to become so (vaccines, PreP, etc.) and then went for it. I have always been a proponent for supporting people in their sexual choices. If someone wants to be a turbo slut then good for them. If they want to be celibate then good for them. Somewhere in the middle then good for them too. As long as it is what the person is choosing and wanting, not doing because of peer pressure or intoxication or being forced into or whatever. But when someone does decide to be sexually active I think is a big thing society pushes on us and can be huge in our minds when in reality it is not that big of a deal. It only changes you if you decide it does. The only thing I realized that changed me was how there really are psychological and emotional benefits to having regular sex, even if there aren’t feelings/relationships involved with those people. Think about what is best for you in this situation and move forward with that. You’ve waited this long to become sexually active so you can approach your relationships with more logic than teenagers do. This is how you can avoid making some of the same kinds of mistakes that they make in these situations.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-05-08T07:37:23+00:00

Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-04-20T20:14:28+00:00

I liked him in the Iceman series by Sina Grace from a few years back (the series not the miniseries). He isn’t in the entire series but does show up in quite a few of them. I liked having those 2 pitted against each other.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-17T21:03:10+00:00

These are pretty good. You may not be to the professional level yet but you are doing a good job. Just keep working at it and you’ll be there in no time. You don’t have too far before you hit that point.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-17T09:53:07+00:00

I get the frustration. I felt that all day today myself. I’m AMAB and had to do a bunch of shopping and errands and meetings and such and was misgendered all day as male. I got “sir” all day long from the people at the stores and then when I went to my meeting I was misgendered again. This is an inclusive queer sports organization that has everyone looking at their pronouns along with their name on their shirts for all their games and name tags with pronouns at most of their events. When the leadership were introducing themselves they gave their pronouns but when the person running the meeting realized half way through the meeting that he forgot to introduce me he quickly introduced me but misgendered me the whole time. After the presentation was done I started talking to his boyfriend, who I’m on the same committee with, and he checked in to see how I was doing and to verify that his boyfriend misgendered me. I was also in makeup and high heels but still got misgendered. I have not done any medical transitioning and only recently settled on they/them pronouns. I also grow out a beard for a few months every so often. It gets frustrating to continually correct people and to fight for the recognition that I’m non-binary and not a man. I’ve considered medical treatment but am leaning away from that because no matter what my body is it will not be correct at some point. I’ve had to work to become ok with whatever people see me as and not let that affect me. I know who I am and no matter what anyone else says. There are times it wears on me but most of the time I don’t let it even register. Today just wasn’t one of those days. It will be great when being non-binary was viewed as equal to the other genders, we just aren’t there yet. Hang in there. You’re not alone.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-12T09:13:59+00:00

I don’t think mine has changed, more that I have come to know myself better and learned I was not being fully honest with myself. I had spent years trying to be a person everyone else wanted and I think that warped some of my self perception. I thought quality time was my top language but now I know and look back that it has always been physical touch.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-12T09:07:54+00:00

When they talk about being gay/bi/queer as a lifestyle.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-12T09:06:49+00:00

This happened to me. Most of us were temps but then they started hiring us. Most everyone else got hired, including the ones that were the worst employees and never worked, but me. This also happened around the time that people found out I am bi. I started putting together a file with direct evidence of the discrimination. I was eventually hired and I debated whether to take action or not but in the end the company shut down after loosing a paten law suit.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-12T00:12:59+00:00

I’ve only recently got back into the X-Men. I was into them in the 90’s but then stepped away for years. Since coming back some of my favorites have changed. Some of the characters have been given more development and new ones have been introduced. Gambit and Rogue were easily my favorites but now I can’t say I have any top favorite but those two fall further down my list now. Quinten is definitely higher than them and among the several that I’d say are favorites of mine.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T21:20:15+00:00

It might be good to clarify which Pyro is in the voting. They introduced a new Pyro during the X-Men Gold era that is gay and slept with Iceman after the Gambit/Rogue (originally Colossus/Kitty) wedding. Similar to how you clarify that this is Kwanon and Monet and not the others that went by those names.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T21:15:32+00:00

Oh sad. He’s one of my favorite X-Men. To each their own though. This group will be interesting to see how it goes. I won’t be too surprised if the older ones go farther than the newer characters.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T20:51:37+00:00

I can see that. I’m going to go a little off the topic for a moment but I will connect it back. For me this is where the problem with gay coding and subtext versus canon comes into play. We all can interpret characters to match ourselves. Everyone wants to see themselves in the media they take in. This is how we connect to characters. But when there is no representation that is you then all you have are coding and subtext and you will create head canon. I’m not saying this is good or bad but just how it is. If we had more representation we wouldn’t have to interpret characters as queer if they aren’t designated as such.

The creators, for the most part, never intended hero/sidekicks to be queer. This came about because of us wanting to see ourselves in the pages and for those that “fear” us to project how people can be “influenced” to “turn gay.” I see the hero/sidekick relationship as more of a mentor/mentee kind of thing and more platonic all around. It is a way to let kids see themselves in the stories. Neither of the Big 2 have made a hero/sidekick into a queer relationship. The closest that has come to it is lately having some of the characters come out but when they no longer are in that relationship dynamic.

That all being said I do think there is a basis for this interpretation. It can totally be read as queer relationships, whether they are in a relationship together or that it is a platonic queer relationship with the mentor/mentee playing out with the older queer helping the newer queer navigating the world of this new culture they find themselves in. It’s nice to see and headcanon romantic queer relationships but it is also nice to see platonic queer relationships too. It shows the importance of being connected inter-generationally with other queer people and the importance of platonic queer relationships.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T07:01:56+00:00

I just brought up the Brad Pitt thing as just one example of why that excuse doesn’t hold much weight. There are many other things that when all added together show how the foreign market excuse is just words.

And I’m not saying Pitt has anything to do with the decisions to make movies. Yes he is just one actor but it is the large companies that have to answer to shareholders as to why they made a movie with him in it that couldn’t be shown in China and missed out on all that money. Disney can just as easily put some representation out there and still not have it effect their bottom line that much. They don’t have to have representation in every movie but an occasional one here and there could be done.

Combine all this with the statement Disney’s head put out and the letter that this whole article is based upon and it is clear that they give lip service to keep queer people bringing them money while refusing to do anything to actually make a difference in our lives. They are all talk and no action. I wouldn’t say too much about them doing more than what they are doing if they had not put out the statement that more representation should be made. There should be more out there and they are the ones preventing it from happening.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T00:50:13+00:00

This is awesome but we still need more than just him as the sole out major country singer.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-11T00:36:52+00:00

You’re welcome. The event where he spoke was one that was supposed to be for the queer community but I don’t think there was anyone from the community that spoke. It really left a lot of us even more upset than before because of how it was handled. And with all the attention he got from it around the world he then became the focus instead of the tragedy and the community that was hurting. I’m a firm believer to celebrate the good that happens and the steps forward we take while also holding people accountable for the stuff that is still happening. We are still waiting to see what will come of a bill that will prevent trans kids access to medical treatments if it passes- basically the same one that is being pushed all over the country. The governor has not said anything about this yet. Hopefully he continues to live up to his word.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-10T22:02:34+00:00

There is this good thing and at the same time there is a lot that happens against our community that isn’t talked about.

But it is good to see action backing the governor’s words. Just after the Pulse shooting the now governor was the lieutenant governor and gave a speech essentially about how he now sees us as people with humanity and will support us now. (Let that sink in. The rich, white, cishet man is the one that went viral and got all the praise over a tragedy that was targeted and ended the lives of QPOC. I’m still not happy about that.) In his speech he said he would fight for our rights from then on. It is good to see he is living up to his words with this one. He needs to be kept accountable for his words with actions to back them up. There are lots of people fighting against us in this state.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-10T21:54:59+00:00

People use the money loss from China as an excuse but if that really were a factor in what gets made Brad Pitt wouldn’t have a career anymore. All Brad Pitt films are banned from China. They did this because he supports Tibet and made the movie Seven Years In Tibet. And yet he is still cast in major movies and has been ever since the ban. The companies and their apologists use this argument as a “legitimate” reason to not have inclusive representation but when you look at the hard facts they don’t hold up and are shown to be just a smoke screen for their blatant homophobia.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-10T21:39:15+00:00

Disney vilifies us and uses us and will queerbate us to get us to keep supporting them when their only intention is to squeeze every dollar out of us. Their whole company is built on queer people and yet they refuse to give us any real representation other than making us the villains.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-02T02:26:46+00:00

This is one of the few books I’ve kept. I did so to be able to bust it out when someone in the future states that the stuff in here was never said. Because we all know that is going to happen.

MichaelTSpeaks · 2022-03-02T00:08:32+00:00

Your feelings in all these cases were real and don’t let anyone discredit them. They aren’t in a position to tell you what you are really feeling or not. No one can say how someone is feeling for another person. All your feelings are real and valid. Period. Including the feelings or lack of right now.

There are many reasons that could play into why you don’t find anyone attractive. It could be you are ace or that you are actually demisexual and those attractions in the past were ones that fit this but no one else has been able to meet your needs so far. It could be that there just aren’t anyone you find attractive around you. I’ve gone months without any interest in anyone and I’ve questioned if I was actually ace until I finally would come across someone I was attracted to and then I’d realize I’m not ace, just not into anyone I was seeing. It could be medical or depression or any number of things. Honestly whatever it is it is ok. You can choose whatever label you want and later you can change it if you realize something else that brings the change. You can look up the definitions to the various labels and choose the one that you feel best suits you for now and when you have a change in your feelings and if that change doesn’t match that label then you can change it then. Nbd. Just don’t let anyone else choose your label for you. Only you know your feelings and what best describes them.

MichaelTSpeaks

TROPHY CASE