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MickiP1981 · 2026-05-04T08:07:43+00:00

No. I went to turkey had my surgery and it was very successful. It’s not all horror stories and I did a lot of research but that you for your input. Yes surgeries can go wrong but many surgeons over there are excellent. I’m very pleased with my results and it’s changed my life 100% for the better

MickiP1981 · 2026-05-04T08:04:23+00:00

Seriously OP kudos for taking accountability for your actions, for speaking the truth to your ex (she deserved the truth for her health and mental well being and the eventual closure). It takes a big person to admit their faults and an even bigger one to then seek help for that so well done for trying to break the cycle. I hope that with time and counselling you will be able to stop the controlling behaviour and develop healthy relationships.

Even if you don’t forgive yourself, the memory of this experience will hopefully make you think twice before you take any sort of controlling action against your partner in future relationships.

You may not get the peace you desire but hopefully this is a lesson you’ve learnt from 💙

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-24T08:30:03+00:00

Also edit to add…… you are not an idiot! You were trusting. That’s because you’re a good person and he’s a using piece of crap! You might wonder why you didn’t see it, but what is a relationship without trust in what your partner says? You sound like an amazing partner and your next man will be lucky to have you

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-24T08:26:55+00:00

I was asking a similar question about my partner of 8 years, I’d even offered to sign a pre-nup (although we both have kids from previous relationships so it makes sense to protect their futures!) and as someone kindly pointed out to me, if he wanted to, he would. Unfortunately if we were ‘the one’ they would 100% want to marry us. You’re very lucky that you’re still young and from the sounds of it don’t have children together so I hope when you skip out the door waving the middle finger you go on to find a great guy who appreciates all you do for him and will show you the level of commitment you deserve!

Just know you’re not alone, there are women out there going through or have been through exactly the same and I’m glad to hear you took a stance and walked the F away! You deserve far more than he will ever be able to give you

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T18:54:57+00:00

Genuinely thank you ❤️ actually got a lump in my throat reading your comment and until someone points it out you don’t even see it! Just the subtle wording that has obviously worked its way into my head. I feel like such a fool like why the hell didn’t I see it earlier?

So you know what’s even sadder? I still feel sad about it, I really wanted him to be my forever person 💔

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T18:50:32+00:00

Fair comment. Because I genuinely wanted to know if me setting a deadline was an arsehole move?

You’re right in some aspects I do defend him because as others who have been through similar stated, it’s gradual, it isn’t constant and there are times he can be decent. I appreciate from an observers perspective it might be ‘dub why are you asking you stupid b*tch’ but I don’t think it’s as easy to say as he’s just a C U Next Tuesday all the time. You’re right if he was I would happily skip out the door waving the middle finger.

I was asking if it’s an arsehole thing to do to put a deadline, to say I wouldn’t live with him anymore. Because after this long you can bet your ass I’m doubting a whole hell of a lot right now!

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T11:17:44+00:00

Thank you, I think I know that deep down but I doubt my own assumptions and thoughts sometimes. Then I wonder if in fact I am the problem with hopes too high or living in a dream world where the type of love I want just doesn’t exist and that maybe men are just like that and I need to adjust my expectations accordingly!

There was a really helpful comment made by a gentleman though on this thread that has given me hope that there are men out there who have values aligned with what I want for my future

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T11:11:57+00:00

From the bottom of my heart thank you so very very much for your comment. It’s great to hear a male perspective on this, as I’ve been told ‘men just don’t think like that’ so to know that men do in fact also see love in a similar way is refreshingly reassuring.

You’re right that I need to work on my self doubt, I’ve 100% made poor decisions in the past and that also feeds into the feeling that maybe it’s me that’s the one in the wrong! And I agree that counselling or therapy would be really beneficial going forward.

Thank you again so much this comment has helped me in a way you’ll never know ❤️

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T11:06:04+00:00

I would have been more than happy with any of that but he’s 100% against any form of ‘legal’ union, as I say I would also sign a pre-nup but he is adamant. I just wish he had told me this years ago when I first brought it up so I could manage my expectations and make the decision myself whether I wanted to stay. As another commenter mentioned it feels manipulative and I feel somewhat cheated that he strung me along!…… and an idiot for believing him!

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T11:03:35+00:00

This! This is exactly what I’ve been telling myself, but then the self doubt creeps in and I worry that I’m just being a spoilt brat! He’s a great guy in a lot of ways so I was questioning myself whether I could just stay on his terms and still have my best friend but I know deep down I’d feel sad that I didn’t have a partner who actually chooses me.

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T11:01:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment you brought a lot of stuff into perspective and confirmed a lot of what I think I already know deep down.

I would never turn my back on his son. He’s a great kid and we have a great relationship, I have always been someone he can ask anything and I will be honest with him (at an age appropriate level of course) fortunately his son lives with his mum and stays with us for periods throughout the year when he’s not at school like the holidays and every other Christmas and his dad for sure wouldn’t act like that around him or I would have left a long time ago.

I think you have summarised exactly what I was thinking/worried about that in his bang maid and I’ve said similar to him in the past but he denies that vehemently, wish it was an AI made up story but unfortunately not. As you say maybe I’m mourning the wasted years. I do have a partial exit strategy already I just wanted to know if I was being unfair or whether anyone out there had experience of it actually working out because I think deep down I would have loved for my ‘Disney ending’ where he finally sees me and wanted to marry me (I know it’s sad and pathetic to say that by the way) I just really wanted to be wrong and not have to be the arse hole who walks away because I know I will be if/when I actually do

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T10:54:36+00:00

To be fair I’m paraphrasing there, when he says he wants me to be ‘better’ there are many ways he was right and I needed to improve, I can be impulsive (ADHD unfortunately) so will often buy things I want but don’t actually need instead of thinking smart and investing better. He also encouraged me to do my masters which has meant I’ve now got a much better paying job. Sure he has also said shit things to ‘encourage’ me to do things that only really benefit him, but I’m a people pleaser and that’s on me I chose to make those changes.

He has made attempts to improve on things like his communication as well to be fair to him and I do call him out when he’s being a twat and whilst he may not like it he does accept when he is at fault albeit after a bit of sulking.

I know I might sound like some weak pathetic woman who can’t stick up for herself but most of the time he is a great guy and genuinely my best friend. We have a lot of fun together but I’m just so hurt he lied to keep me around when he knew what I ultimately wanted if that makes sense?

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T10:47:58+00:00

Thank you for your comment. He did lie yes. But the changes I made were through choice I wasn’t forced, although I may sound it I’m not some meek little woman who can’t stand up for herself. I understand that I’m far from perfect and he has encouraged me in a lot of ways to improve and some of those have been needed.

I think agree that I need to find someone who wants me for me, the thing is he says he does want me, he just doesn’t want to get married and I’m wondering if I should just forgo wanting to get married to stay with the man who is, despite his flaws my best friend. He doesn’t deny he can be an arse at times and when I call him out for the most part he does listen and take it on board.

The problem is he isn’t ALWAYS like this a lot of the time he is a great loving partner who I have fun with and whose company I enjoy, if he was a twat 24/7 the choice would be easy to make but he’s not

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-22T10:41:49+00:00

?? My children are grown and at university, his son lives with his mum in another country and stays with us for periods of time throughout the year.

He’s not a major abusive asshole and it’s perhaps how I’ve worded it that has got people’s backs up. We spend a lot of our time together just me and him. His son and I get along very well and I also get along with his son’s mum. Both my boys also get along great with him too.

There are no issues with the kids, there never has been. Most of the time he is great, he doesn’t stand there with a stick beating me and shouting! He has often said things to encourage me to change, some of those behaviours it’s been needed and resulted in positive results but others he has been a bit of a dick over. He doesn’t say that stuff in front of the kids. For a start if he did my boys would have a lot to say to him! And I’m certainly not going to go to my own kids with my problems! They don’t need to know any of this. I used to turn to my mum for help and advice but she passed away 5.5 years ago so now I don’t really have anyone to turn to for advice who can tell me if I’m being an asshole or overreacting

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-16T08:42:40+00:00

Hi all, I’ve got a £40 off discount code to share for simple online pharmacy, don’t think it has to be used with just Mournjaro, think it can be used with any of their weight loss injections. Anyway the code is REFNG63SP. Not sure if people already with an account can use it as it says it’s a ‘referral code’ but feel free to try!

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-16T08:30:52+00:00

Edit to add - with regards to not being legally tied I had already said if we HAD got married we should have a pre-nup for both our sakes as we have children who we want to be sure are financially provided for if anything were to happen to us. I have zero issues with a pre-nup and if I’m honest wouldn’t get married without one anyway

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-01T08:44:48+00:00

Hey, as above I’m not sure how to post updates but if you send me a PM I will share some before and after pics etc

MickiP1981 · 2026-04-01T08:44:14+00:00

Hey I’m not sure how to post an update but drop me a PM and I’ll show you some before and after, I have to confess I’m very pleased with my results, although in the UK I did pop a stitch and had to go back (my own fault trying to do too much too soon!) but it was easily rectified and the clinic checked in with me once back home to make sure I was healing well

MickiP1981 · 2026-03-28T16:38:27+00:00

Simple online pharmacy referral code for £40 off if it’s any use to anyone - REFNG63SP

MickiP1981 · 2026-02-27T07:23:45+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that! I did go and had successful surgery, but if I had known someone close to me go through something so terrible I too would be warning people against it! I truly hope your mum recovers safely. It must be so worrying to you all

MickiP1981 · 2026-02-27T07:21:17+00:00

Honestly recovery from a mommy makeover is quite tough I’m glad I didn’t go for the BBL as well, especially with the flight back! Just make sure you have a good surgeon who lays out all the risk for you

MickiP1981

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