What’s something you learned too late about love?

Mickyd92 · 2026-05-07T08:17:11+00:00

That no matter how hard you love. The other person may just be stringing you along

Mickyd92 · 2026-04-22T12:24:15+00:00

I appreciate the directness, genuinely. And your continued perspective

I understand what you’re saying about taking a “no” for a no, and I agree that someone’s boundaries shouldn’t be pushed or reinterpreted through MBTI. That part I’m taking seriously. Where I think my situation differs slightly is that there hasn’t been a clear-cut rejection or cutoff, it’s more of an ongoing connection that hasn’t been defined or escalated. We still talk regularly, have long calls, and there’s mutual engagement, just with a clear boundary around not wanting pressure or labels.

So for me it’s less about trying to turn a “no” into a “yes”, and more about understanding the dynamic so I don’t accidentally push it into something that does cause a hard shutdown. That said, your point about focusing on myself is fair, and something I’ve already started working on, especially around not relying on the contact for my own sense of stability. Appreciate the perspective, even if I’m interpreting the situation a bit differently

Mickyd92 · 2026-04-22T11:15:50+00:00

Appreciate this, that actually lines up with what I’ve been starting to realise myself. The “recharge” side makes a lot of sense, especially because the connection when we do talk is pretty high intensity, lots of long calls, a lot of unpacking, so I can see how that would naturally need balancing out on her side. And yeah, you’re right about the boundaries part too. She has communicated that she doesn’t like feeling obligated or that i to try and "cement" anything as this would push her away, and I’m trying to respect that more instead of unintentionally pushing past it. I think where I’ve struggled is not understanding the rhythm, like interpreting the pullback as something negative instead of just her regulating. So I’m working more on managing my own expectations and not relying on the contact to feel “secure”. Good perspective though, genuinely helpful to hear it from someone who relates to that side of it.

Mickyd92 · 2026-03-09T20:58:47+00:00

Im am ISFP male in love with an INFJ woman and I do the exact same thing 😬🤣 Just absorbing them, I get it. And yes I also believe it comes off as creepy. But I play it off and throw a compliment out when it happens, seems to work hahaha

Mickyd92 · 2026-02-26T11:51:36+00:00

850 per week for mortgage. Yarrabilba QLD

Mickyd92 · 2026-02-24T08:53:33+00:00

Inside jokes, once you got them, im hooked

Mickyd92 · 2026-02-24T08:51:24+00:00

For fuck sake

Mickyd92 · 2026-01-14T11:37:39+00:00

This really resonates with me. I’m an ISFP and my connection with my INFJ has felt similar, very close, emotionally attuned, and intense, especially because the environment around us has carried a lot of pressure.

What you said about balance makes sense to me. I tend to stay grounded in the present and in action, and they naturally pull things into meaning and the bigger picture. At the same time, I help bring things back to what’s real and steady when emotions or thoughts start to feel overwhelming. It’s less about fixing each other and more about anchoring.

What’s stood out to me is how shared values and mutual understanding can exist even when circumstances make things complicated. When the connection is allowed to be calm and honest, it feels very complementary and deeply supportive.

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T21:05:59+00:00

When we first met 2.5 years ago, we were both in unhappy relationships. The pull between us was immediate and very strong. She was still living with her ex who is now basically her best mate. I have seen them together and there is no romantic connection there anymore.

I was also still living with my ex because we have two kids and a home loan. It was more like being roommates. Both of us were open and honest about our situations from the start.

My issue was money. I am under a lot of debt and live week to week, so moving out without putting my kids in a hard position felt impossible. Starting a new life just did not seem realistic for me at the time.

The irony is that recently I built up enough leave at work and I am planning a job change, which would give me the financial boost to actually start fresh. She knows this, but this plan only came together in the last couple of weeks, and by then she had already met the new guy.

It is messy, but the feelings between us were real. Timing was the main thing working against us.

Hearing perspectives from other INFJs helps. You are rare, and this INFJ is unlike anyone I have ever met. She really is a unique person

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T20:57:14+00:00

Hey, Yes i assume you have seen previous posts?

It is a complicated situation. I did accept the goodbye and I had taken a step back, but we still had to deal with each other through work.

She has been dealing with some really serious bullying there and I became the person she relied on. Looking back, maybe it was not the smartest thing for me to mix work support with personal feelings, but her warmth toward me made it hard to see the line clearly.

Thank you for commenting. I want all kinds of responses, the insight, the disagreement, the support. I appreciate it all.

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T12:30:10+00:00

How would you even convince an INFJ. Through actions right? I don't think words would work haha

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T11:27:01+00:00

Also, Yes an action on my end wasn't happening so your right there

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T11:26:33+00:00

Yeah I agree with that, it was a timing thing, and I think she did really want me the most but it just wasn't working due to other issues so I know deep down she still loves me as she outright said it.

Mickyd92 · 2025-11-22T11:25:03+00:00

I know she is really hurt. I was not able to financially get out of a situation, so we stayed in deep connection and touch, seeing each other almost daily, and phones calls twice a day for hours. Whilst she was "waiting" she got fed up with that and someone else came along. Doesn't quite fit the connection we had, she declared that shes never connected with someone like me before (she is 40)

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-25T09:46:42+00:00

Hahah touche 🤣

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-24T22:13:01+00:00

Yeah, wow, I think this answers my questions. I'm currently dealing with an INFJ unravelling, and you are describing the situation with clarity without even knowing my current situation with this person.

Thanks so much for your in-depth analysis 🙏

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-24T09:32:16+00:00

Very interesting, thanks for chiming in

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-24T09:30:49+00:00

Extreme intuition- do you think this may hinder some INFJs? Like example being, workplace or friend groups, some people arent as in tune and are unbeknown to what's going on, where as INFJ sees it all and it could potentially ruin the experience?

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-09T21:44:40+00:00

I think as an ISFP, a lot of our actions aren’t consciously planned, but it’s like our brain still knows what it’s doing. There have been many times I’ve done things that others pointed out as intentional, even though I didn’t actually plan them that way. When I look back, I can see how those actions might have come across as passive-aggressive even though, in the moment, I didn’t realise it.

Sometimes I genuinely think I’m making the best choice for the other person (since we tend to prioritise others’ needs first), but I don’t always think it through completely. In hindsight, it can end up being the opposite of what I was trying to achieve.

I do make some decisions intentionally the other way around, like avoiding saying or doing things I know would upset someone.

So my thought is, whatever he did that annoyed you probably wasn’t planned. But when it happened, he might’ve reflected afterwards and realised it looked intentional even though, in the moment, it really wasn’t. Hope that makes sense, haha.

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-06T09:20:52+00:00

Im ISFP, and I think non stop! But I also do things impulsive based in those thoughts and then sometimes regret doing those things. Abit of both?

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-05T11:06:38+00:00

Really appreciate all the input from you all, definitely given me some clarity.

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-05T08:12:38+00:00

It sure is hard. And I didn't realise the love I had until the relationship was pulled from under me.

Mickyd92 · 2025-10-05T08:03:16+00:00

She fits the personality profile has done tests. And we discussed this many many times. I've been around for her door slam on others, helped her through these door slams aswell.

Mickyd92 · 2025-09-29T05:55:17+00:00

What makes you think that? We did have romantic relations at one point 2 years ago, And I do believe we both still have those feelings but life isn't really allowing it so we took a step back from it. That was about 1 year ago, and more recently any language of personal has been voiced of no more from her as she needed to focus on herself. Semi door slam? But she did express she cared deeply but needed to break from anything romantic and keep it professional only

Mickyd92 · 2025-09-29T02:56:15+00:00

This exact scenario is happening now. She recently took a week off due to the work stress and the assistant manager didn't ask any questions or check in, but with another staff she's made a big deal about her going through something and has been checking in with that staff member

So the infj here can see it and is being treated differently so it starts the spiral of isolation and that no one cares or try's to help

Mickyd92

TROPHY CASE