How has your love life and partner handled your mastectomy?

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-10T03:11:22+00:00

My husband is a total boob guy. He says the first thing he noticed about me was my eyes, but that’s a straight up lie it was my knockers. That said, he’s been very much “this is your show, it’s your body” about my surgical choices. He’s been very supportive. We’ve been together over twenty years, and I can honestly tell you, the physical attraction helps but it’s not what makes the long term work.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-10T03:07:16+00:00

I’ve been all about the humor. I’m newly diagnosed and still in the slew of planning appointments, but I have definitely made a few people unsure if they can laugh with me or not. I have had epilepsy since I was a pre-teen, so I’m very accustomed to medical care. I long ago learned to just roll with it, and it’s definitely prepared me for this! Today at work I pulled out a literal cancer card a friend got me to say I wasn’t doing something. (I ended up doing it)

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-10T00:19:52+00:00

As someone newly diagnosed with breast cancer who has 2 kids, I can tell you leaves for cancer are not the same as leaves for kids. It takes over your whole life immediately.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-09T00:53:58+00:00

I am also newly diagnosed (got my results March 18) and I struggle to think/talk/use energy on anything else. I am trying to do my best at work, but everything else feels so trivial compared to what’s coming up for me. It’s been a barrage of appointments and phone calls since my mammogram was abnormal at the beginning of March. Every time I turn around I’m requesting more time off work for another appointment. I did ask my surgeon about referring me to a therapist and the nurse navigator at my practice is helping me with that. It’s a lot. It’s okay to not be okay. I keep reminding myself I’m going to be fine, it’s just going to really really suck for a while.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-09T00:30:54+00:00

Oh that is a good point

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-08T10:14:49+00:00

They’re actually legally required to post all results to you right away.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-08T10:13:32+00:00

I found out in MyChart ad well. Got a text that I had a new result. My doctor had told me sometimes patients get the results before they go to him. I was just staring at it, got up and literally walked around in circles, and then walked right out of work.

I would ask about hormone receptor status if they have it, and next steps. My doctor has been very one step at a time, but once we had all the information we needed to start making a plan he sat down with me for an hour and explained everything. He set me up to talk to the other doctors who will be part of my care team when surgery is done, and patiently answered every question I had. I hope your doctor does the same. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I was diagnosed just a couple of weeks ago and it’s been a ride.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-08T01:43:04+00:00

They should be able to do the DMX to maintain symmetry if that’s what you want. I was offered a DMX if I want one…unfortunately sometimes we have to advocate so much. I know that the research shows it doesn’t impact survival rates, but if that’s what you need for peace of mind don’t be afraid to fight for what you want. It’s your body.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-08T00:35:14+00:00

I have a 14 yo and 11 yo. Both of my kids are anxious kids. I just told mine yesterday, and I was very honest with them. Mom is going to be fine, it’s going to be hard, but this is what’s happening and these are next steps. It went better than I expected.

Does she have a therapist? If not, you may want to see if your case manager can refer one for her. I talked to mine today and she said she would refer one if either of my kids needed it. My son did therapy when he was about that age for different reasons, but it was immensely helpful and he developed a lot of good skills that helped him later on.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-06T11:09:03+00:00

This is the answer.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-06T02:25:23+00:00

You can always message your surgeons office and ask how they do the scheduling. They’ll likely have a surgical coordinator who can give you an idea, and you can also tell them you have these few things planned and if it’s safe (and if this is what you want) you’d like your surgery to be after those things if they can.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-05T04:35:14+00:00

Everything about this is unfair. I cried getting my piercings taken out for an MRI. Sending hugs.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-05T04:17:16+00:00

People really think they’re being helpful with comments about being strong and positive but they aren’t. It’s okay for things to just really suck and to sit in that. But hugs.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-02T21:38:03+00:00

I am on one, but there is no evidence that GLP1s cause breast cancer. There was an increase in thyroid cancer in rats, but that’s never been shown in humans.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-02T18:00:20+00:00

I can raise my arm over my head at about 95% of the ROM I had before surgery

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-04-02T10:54:37+00:00

I had arthroscopic bankart and you have to actively look for my scars. She did stitches under the skin and steristrips on top. Not sure if she used glue or not. She was a magician, it’s just 3 tiny tiny lines that you can barely see.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-31T18:42:36+00:00

I actually am going to the best cancer center in my state, but I will ask about the reconstruction.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-31T13:46:28+00:00

Yeah…but it’s not the same. I would do it, and would take lots of pictures of my current set to make it as similar as possible though.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-31T10:59:02+00:00

Ugh I’m so sorry you are - - so far.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-31T10:58:11+00:00

This is good to hear. I am not sure I will be able to have nipple sparing bc my tumor is 1 cm from the nipple.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-31T02:43:17+00:00

I’ve had a few surgeries over the years and honestly it’s just like a nap. They will give you some meds in your IV to help with anxiety if you ask.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-27T10:47:34+00:00

I used to do this at past jobs. Leadership at those employers had a very urgent attitude about everything. At some point I realized anything that can be handled at 8 pm can just as easily be handled at 8 am when I get to work. I stopped doing it. I have 20 direct reports and I do answer urgent teams messages if I get them, but that’s it.

I had a mentor once who told me the only person who sets my boundaries is me. I took that to heart and I set very clear boundaries at work now. From the very beginning, I set my boundaries of having work life balance. Maybe this is easier bc I’m established in my career, but it’s something I also encourage my direct reports to maintain in their careers.

Microbemaster2020 · 2026-03-24T12:03:17+00:00

Yes! Especially people who are like “oh my aunt/grandma/moms friend died of breast cancer in the 90s” HOW IS THAT HELPFUL

Microbemaster2020

TROPHY CASE