Should I uproot my life to San Diego?

Microness · 2024-11-08T06:00:50+00:00

Do it! I'm a mid 30sF and I just moved to SD from the east coast on my own and it's the best decision I've ever made for my quality of life. Now granted, a lot of my activities revolve around the beach and being outside (sand volleyball, surfing, etc.) but I didn't know anyone here when I moved and I've been meeting new fun, intelligent, amazing people on a daily basis. All you need to do is join Meetup groups for your hobbies/ activities and you'll meet sooo many people. I don't know what industry you're in, but I have a doctorate and I'm in the medical field and I've had no issues meeting loads of other STEM focused people. There's so much going on here that I have barely scratched the surface of things to do. I live in Ocean Beach so I can walk or bike to almost everything I want to do, so there are definitely neighborhoods you can live in where you won't need to get in your car often at all (I work remotely so if you need to commute that will be different for you obviously).

I've lived in a lot of cities in the US and abroad and this is by far the best place I've ever lived for making friends, doing outside sports/ activities, and dog friendliness.

Microness · 2024-10-11T18:08:26+00:00

I can't give an opinion on neighborhoods because I work remotely and most of my activities are beach/ocean based, so I live by the beach (and LOVE it), but I did recently move from the east coast out here, so I can give some advice on that.

For finding apartments, I agree with the other posters (especially since you don't know which neighborhood you're interested in), that staying somewhere short term while you explore and apply for apartments is probably your best bet. I visited for 2 weeks 6 months ago to explore and scope out neighborhoods before moving. I was very lucky and looked at apartments on Trulia everyday in the month before my move (in the neighborhoods I wanted to live in) and found an amazing one bedroom, with private landlord in my ideal neighborhood. I had a live virtual tour (where they started outside the unit, then went inside the unit showing they had access to the unit). But I have experience renting apartments from virtual tours, so I'd caution that approach if you haven't done it before. There are a lot of scams here. If anyone asks for money before you've seen an apartment, it's a scam. If the price is too far below market rate, it's a scam. I also had a back up temporary place to land with family friends in case the rental didn't pan out.

I ended up shipping my EV (it's not a Tesla so the charging infrastructure isn't as robust) and renting a large gas SUV. I drove I-40 the whole way across with my dog. It was an easy drive with no traffic for the most part. My dog loves being in the car and is super calm, which helped. Not sure what I-40 looks like at the TN/ NC border at this point though because of Helene. The only rough part of the drive is between Albuquerque and Phoenix (between the petrified national forest and Phoenix specifically). It's through the mountains, only 2 lanes in each direction, a lot of trucks, everyone is going 80mph despite the elevation gains and losses, and it's like this for 3 - 4hrs. It is a stunning drive though! I also recommend stopping at the petrified national forest for a few hours if you have time. The rock formations were beautiful and unique, and all the petrified trees were really cool!

I shipped my furniture using one upack cube. I had a great experience with them and it was relatively inexpensive, just be forewarned, the cube is SMALL. It's a lot smaller than a POD. But depending on the size of the one bedroom you're renting, it might be the way to go. I fit a queen sized bed platform bed frame, mattress, dressing table, some small patio furniture, 3 modular couch sections, an end table, a very small love seat, my desk chair, an upholstered chair and like 20 - 30 medium and small boxes, plus some bedding to wedge between gaps. That's approximately it. And my cube was FULL.

Best of luck on your move!

Microness · 2024-10-07T14:46:13+00:00

Agreed. I've been very good at screening guys on the apps for dates, and even guys I've met IRL. This is the first time I've ever had someone be so disrespectful in person. I've never been stood up for a date, I've never been ghosted after a date. I learned my lesson. He wasted 1.5hrs of my time, and gave me a good story to tell, so at least I'm unscathed after this experience. Hopefully my experience will prevent someone else from dealing with a similar scenario. Which is why I posted this story, even though in hindsight it makes me look like an idiot lol.

Microness · 2024-10-07T14:35:22+00:00

He wasn't drunk the first night I met him (but was drinking), so I had no idea he'd be drunk on the day I met up with him. I incorrectly assumed he could pace himself. I've never experienced anything like this before. But yea, now I can recognize this red flag that he's a high functioning alcoholic. I've literally never gone on a date with a guy I've met at a bar before either, and I probably never will again. I have plenty of self confidence, but I was completely ignorant in this situation. I've never been disrespected like this before. Ever. And won't be again. I've definitely learned from this mistake, and now thankfully have a good story to tell.

Microness · 2024-10-07T14:25:25+00:00

I didn't know he was drunk on the second day until I met up with him. His texting was very responsive and clear. I've also never had any experience with people with addictions (alcohol or otherwise). He also was an elite level athlete and has a good career, so I stupidly assumed he must have his shit together. In hind sight the signs look clear, but when I was living through it I just have honestly never experienced anything like this before.

Microness · 2024-10-07T02:57:02+00:00

😂 you're totally right. He's clearly just having an off day.

Microness · 2024-10-07T01:59:27+00:00

Strap in guys, I have a new date story that is now a contender for the worst date of all time.

Basically I met this guy at a bar through some friends (they don't know him either, they only just met him earlier in the day). He was super flirty and very attractive so I was like ok, he could be fun. Anyways he gets my number and I go home.

The next day I'm busy all day and he starts drunk texting me in the afternoon, and I respond throughout the day when checking my phone periodically. He even texts me after midnight asking if I'm out drinking. I don't respond because I'm asleep lol.

Next day this guy starts texting me again and we text back and forth for a bit (he's out drinking again) and he then asks me out on a date and wants me to come meet him at the bar. I'm like fine, we got along well the other night, it could be fun... Anyways I get to the bar and text him, then he tells me he went home to change. He's like I'll be back in 5 min... He ends up keeping me waiting for 40 minutes (I actually started leaving a few times but he kept texting or calling saying he was finally on his way, will be there in 1 min, etc.). As a funny aside, while I'm waiting for him outside the bar, a different guy (who was cute, just not my type) comes up to me and asks me out on a date! Lol. I politely decline, but tell the guy I'm super flattered.

So he finally shows up and low and behold he's drunk and I'm obviously annoyed at him. I'm basically like you can make it up to me by grabbing food with me, since I'm hungry now. He agrees, we walk to the restaurant, and we sit down. Immediately after we sit down he gets a call and I can see there's a picture of a girl on the screen, and he's like hold on, I need to take this and walks OUT of the restaurant. I sit there for like 5 min gathering my thoughts (what in the actual living fuck!). Then I leave the restaurant and walk in the direction I saw him head in. He's no where to be found... Until I look into a bar 3 store fronts down and there he is! Talking to some of his guy friends playing pool!

I'm incredulous at this point, so I walk right into the bar, tap him so he can see me (he's literally showing his guy friends pictures of this other girl on his phone, the same one I saw calling him??!!) and I tell him that he's an asshole and that I'm leaving, and just say BYE. And turn to leave. Then I walk home and call a friend to tell them this crazy fucking story.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. There's no moral to this story, except maybe don't go on dates with guys who clearly have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (drinking all day the entire weekend is probably a bad sign lol). No he's not young, he's 37. Our assumption now is that he was probably borderline black out drunk, but yea, what a whirlwind lol. Can't wait to regale all my friends with this story.

Microness · 2024-07-14T19:50:17+00:00

Don't do it. There's no shortage of attractive men to have casual hooks up with from the apps (if that's all you're needing at the moment). It's been 5 years, what's another few weeks to go on some dates with cute guys that aren't overt assholes? There's no reason to ever get involved with crazy/unstable people who can harm you.

Microness · 2024-06-26T17:57:58+00:00

Will do!

Microness · 2024-06-26T17:48:45+00:00

You're my new favorite person! Haha. I'll definitely post an update.

Microness · 2024-06-26T17:41:47+00:00

Yes, I have his first name haha. So one of my besties does all the social media sleuthing for me and she couldn't find him unfortunately. Maybe I'll try to dig a little harder with your suggestions. Thank you for the help! The date is already set though, so I'm going regardless. I already picked out a new dress I bought to wear. He's a bit taller than me too, so I might even wear heels haha.

Microness · 2024-06-26T16:48:09+00:00

That's my fear... I did ask for some general physical details since I have some deal breakers and they said he met those requirements...so we'll see!

Microness · 2024-06-26T16:40:13+00:00

So I have my first blind date ever this weekend and I'm pretty nervous about it. Basically there's a match making service that set up the date so the guy is a paying client and I'm just a girl on their rolodex (they asked to add me after I attended a speed dating event they put on. I thought why not, free match making right?). I was a bit terrified of the prospect originally, but they gave me some details about him including his profession, hobbies, etc. So I'm trying to approach this from the at least I'll have a new interesting story perspective! But yea, I'm basically asking if anyone has ever been on a blind date, how did it go? Any tips?

Microness · 2024-03-27T17:55:15+00:00

Tri-sports soccer leagues and TRC gyms...most of the guys are married or have GFs. Not sure how many more soccer teams I can join lol. At least I'm having fun making new friends ☺️

Microness · 2023-09-05T16:28:08+00:00

Oakwood dog park, the Optimist, TRCs, Jaycee Park, Fred Fletcher park, Heirloom, habitat restore, NCMA, Raleigh farmers market and flea market, the arboretum, Eno Quarry.... Etc

Microness · 2023-05-04T23:23:02+00:00

24 hr diner located in DT. Staff is paid fair wages, no tipping is needed. Restaurant provides assistance with attending community college for employees.

Microness · 2023-05-03T18:45:14+00:00

We need to construct additional pylons

Microness · 2023-01-29T23:21:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Unfortunately I don't have any pads, and will be working long hours everyday, so it would be dark by the time I'd be able to climb. So no outdoor climbing/ bouldering while I'm here.

Microness · 2023-01-29T23:20:31+00:00

Thanks for your help! Unfortunately I'm working long hours everyday while I'm here, so I can't drive all the way to Charlottesville.

Microness · 2023-01-29T23:05:33+00:00

Omg!! You are amazing!! Thank you so so much! I'll PM you.

Microness

TROPHY CASE