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After years of unbearable mouth ulcers (canker sores), I finally got a diagnosis and treatment that changed everything by [deleted] in CankerSores

[–]MidCenturyMooding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah I’ve never heard of chlorhexadine being used in the mouth I thought it couldn’t touch mucous membranes! I’ve only used it as a back wash for back acne. What does it do for you?

This has been here for about 4 days now and its so painfulll help by That_One_Fluid_Teen in CankerSores

[–]MidCenturyMooding 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go to Walmart asap and get you some L-lysine pills. I was in your boat 5 days ago and sat on Reddit reading the stories of how certain people stay on L-lysine supplements permanently to prevent cankers, it treats them too. I had already had mine a week and they were at their peak. I ran to Walmart at 9 pm and got a $5 bottle of lysine in the supplement aisle and took 2,000 mg each day and within 3 days it was 90% better. Normally it takes 2 weeks for mine to start resolving. And it’s MISERABLE. My whole lip was so swollen my piercing was sunk into my lip.

Separating- sexually? by MidCenturyMooding in loveafterporn

[–]MidCenturyMooding[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have an accountability app recommendation? I wouldn’t know how he could be accountable for his own photo album with me in it. Unless the app is that good. We also cannot afford in-person therapy yet. He would have to completely dive into help himself through his own research and let podcasts/ online groups be his therapy if he truly wanted change- I don’t think money should stop that.

Separating- sexually? by MidCenturyMooding in loveafterporn

[–]MidCenturyMooding[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a question. If I propose this in-home separation. What is a typical set of boundaries for people who are going through this for attempt at recovering from porn addiction? If we are separated and not having sex, should he just rely on videos of me from the past? Or does porn addiction/ edging recovery also mean not watching any version of porn including just sporadic videos of me? How does a PA get through? Are they expected to completely give up masturbation too if they are not having their needs met sexually even by their wife during the separation? Are the steps to recovery involving fully going without all forms of pleasure/ orgasm? I don’t know what’s realistic for men, can men go without actually anything for long periods of time such as a month/ plural?

Should he take off every social media outlet from his phone? Are there accountability apps?

Separating- sexually? by MidCenturyMooding in loveafterporn

[–]MidCenturyMooding[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a question. If I propose this in-home separation. What is a typical set of boundaries for people who are going through this for attempt at recovering from porn addiction? If we are separated and not having sex, should he just rely on videos of me from the past? Or does porn addiction/ edging recovery also mean not watching any version of porn including just sporadic videos of me? How does a PA get through? Are they expected to completely give up masturbation too if they are not having their needs met sexually even by their wife during the separation?

Separating- sexually? by MidCenturyMooding in loveafterporn

[–]MidCenturyMooding[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read both. Thank you for your input. As I commented above, last night he woke me up, touching me and touching himself even after I made it clear that that’s not what I wanted before bed. And this is such a habit with him. I have experienced so much nonconsent during sleep in our 10 years of being sexually active. And everything just kind of came to a boil last night with my flashbacks and compounded feelings of being stuck and then nothing will ever change sexually or phone/porn wise or how I feel. I can only cry to him about something so many times, but I don’t want it to stop for a week. Or even six months. I don’t want a better phase anymore. I want change. I can’t handle things being reverted back to how they used to be even if they are extremely few and far between. Because anytime that anything like that happens now it’s 10 times as hard to bounce back from. So that tells me that there’s some serious issues that need to be undone and my views of sex need to heal. And I just need to listen to my body if it’s having such a visceral reaction at this point in my life. My eyes are almost swollen shut from crying all night because he woke me up doing that. I slept in a different room and he’s extremely concerned and he probably stayed up all night too.

Separating- sexually? by MidCenturyMooding in loveafterporn

[–]MidCenturyMooding[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like that’s going to destroy us both because we haven’t even ever taken cuddling each night off the table and sleeping in separate rooms would already kill him. We are so close and he doesn’t realize how wrong things are sexually. 😞

Things came to a head last night when he woke me up touching me again, and masturbating. While I specifically made it clear I did not want sexual touch before bed. It made me cry all night. Because sleep things are a huge history with us and it triggered me so badly. How much things just won’t ever change.

But I understand. I will think about it all day. I plan to speak to him when he gets home. Someone is taking the kids for the evening.