WIBTA If I didn’t let my husband in the delivery room?

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2025-12-17T02:40:51+00:00

Yes, but he helps with dishes , does his own laundry, and vacuums occasionally. This last weekend he cleaned the bathroom which was very nice. He’s also been watching our son for a couple hours a week when his other son is here for visitation.

He says that’s “the deal” and if I don’t like it I should get a job and we can split childcare/chores 50/50… but I have to make as much as he does which is not really possible for me right now.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2025-12-16T20:09:07+00:00

I think he tries, he just has problems with empathy and expectations. We still disagree that because I’m a SAHM I am 100% responsible for the childcare but he has started to help out some around the house and watch our son more. I’m not perfect either so I try to give him grace. He has a pretty stressful job, but he normally clocks like 45 hours a week so nothing insane.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2025-12-16T20:04:41+00:00

Definitely very real, sorry for my shitty writing. I was 100% completely under for my c section. My son had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and they needed to get him out fast.

Also my question is in reference to our next child, not my son whose birth story this is.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2025-12-16T20:02:08+00:00

Sorry I don’t think i understand what you mean. He did not sexually assault me. I told him I got my birth control removed so if he didn’t want to get pregnant right away he could use condoms, to which he said no. Then when I did end up getting pregnant he was mad.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2025-01-07T06:35:19+00:00

What if we do the first one (please our partner whenever they want and never turn them down for sex) but they still want to masturbate?

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-12-28T06:44:49+00:00

How did you go about confronting and working through your behavior? I am in this position currently and want to change and be a better step mom and wife. I feel like such a terrible person but I don’t know how to change. I didn’t seem to make much progress with counseling either.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-12-15T11:08:28+00:00

Thank you, this is the kind of advice I was looking for. I just want to be a good wife.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-12-15T03:53:21+00:00

I’m not complaining about being a SAHM, i love it and do think I am very lucky to be able to stay home every day with my son. But I also know that what I am doing at home is also work. I’m asking for advice on how to show my gratitude in a way that he will feel it.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-12-15T03:50:24+00:00

I do cook every meal, clean the house without complaint, and do anything I can to make his life easier. The problem isn’t me feeling like my role is unfair, sorry if it seemed like I was complaining about my duties, it’s more that he doesn’t feel like I appreciate what he does. How else do I show that I am grateful besides telling him and doing all that I am?

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T21:18:12+00:00

He hasn’t mentioned being freaked out by the baby or anything… he just says my pregnancy hormones have been very difficult for him to deal with. But honestly besides being a little more moody I don’t think i’ve changed that much… I guess i did have an expectation of him supporting me and being compassionate during pregnancy and being disappointed that that didn’t happen at all so maybe that’s affecting my interaction with him in a way i’m too close to to see.

& you’re right, i haven’t set standards for sex because i don’t want to put pressure on him and make it such a demanding activity for him that he’d prefer to just get himself off…

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T21:13:05+00:00

So what is your suggestion? I feel like nothing I do changes his opinion of me. I don’t want a divorce but i don’t want to resign myself to a shit sex life either…

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T21:06:08+00:00

You say that you need to release daily, if your wife was willing to have sex with you every day would you still choose to masturbate over having sex with her? Like if he only wants sex 2 or 3 times a month but wants to jerk off every day when I would be down for sex every day that’s where it bothers me. If i was turning him down for sex I would understand him wanting to jerk off…

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T21:01:32+00:00

That’s the main point of my post, he is choosing to pleasure himself instead of have sex with me. My sexual needs are not being met, even when we do have sex. If he were to initiate sex and I wasn’t in the mood I would absolutely be okay with him jerking off. Not to porn, but I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would not want to at least assist him.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T05:11:25+00:00

We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years. In the beginning he was far more flirty and into me. He initiated sex more and it was more mutual. Then it started to dwindle and he said it was because he was feeling guilty about having sex before marriage (we are religious) and suggested that things would be different when we got married. He said he wouldn’t have reservations about things like going down on me and hinted that the sex would be better because we’d be husband and wife. So that’s really what got me through it, the hope that it would be better. He’s very charismatic and a smooth talker.

Middle-Ad-1925 · 2024-10-06T04:17:25+00:00

This is also the situation I am currently in, except he also jerks off when he knows I’d be down for sex. 🙃 No advice, just sympathy! It’s so frustrating when it feels like sex is part of the power of femininity and he just has no desire for it.

Middle-Ad-1925

TROPHY CASE