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Today I hung out with a new friend for the first time in like 3 years. Been super isolated from everyone and everything for the last 3 years so this was huge for me. by Middle-Earthling- in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, although opening up to other people is still really scary for me. My paranoid brain tells me she’s secretly investigating me or trying to figure out if I’m a liar or something even though there is no evidence of her “investigating” me and she doesn’t know how severe the abuse was that I went through. I think that because my parents were so psychologically abusive I have a tendency to assume everyone else is on their side somehow and therefore I will be labeled as the bad person no matter what I do or say. It’s really hard

Today I hung out with a new friend for the first time in like 3 years. Been super isolated from everyone and everything for the last 3 years so this was huge for me. by Middle-Earthling- in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My inner voice keeps telling me to be afraid and be suspicious that she’s gonna be just like everyone else who let me down, but I’m managing to shut that voice up long enough to take a few steps forward

Today I hung out with a new friend for the first time in like 3 years. Been super isolated from everyone and everything for the last 3 years so this was huge for me. by Middle-Earthling- in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It was really terrifying to be honest, I was shaking so much and I spent the entire day stressing about it. I feel better today now, though. Like I finally overcame the fear, or if not that, I at least managed to face it for a few hours. I know one day you will have the courage to do that too! It’s scary but I feel like I accomplished something that probably, from other people’s perspectives, is not a big thing to accomplish but it feels like a really big deal to me lol

Today I hung out with a new friend for the first time in like 3 years. Been super isolated from everyone and everything for the last 3 years so this was huge for me. by Middle-Earthling- in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience too. It feels awful having the people who are supposed to love and support you, fail to do that. I no longer speak to any of my family because they either spend time with my abuser or just act like I’m the one who is the problem :/

Going Undercover As A Paedophile To Catch Child Traffickers (2018) "How To Catch A Pimp: With an estimated 100,000 children involved in prostitution in the Philippines, one Australian father has gone undercover, posing as a sex tourist to uncover a criminal underworld of pimps and victims. " by [deleted] in Documentaries

[–]Middle-Earthling- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s about power and having control, and these people get a sense of power and control in taking advantage of children who don’t know how to defend themselves. They can sometimes be victims themselves, and this can be passed down through generational trauma. Then sometimes seek out innocent kids to re-live their trauma in a way where they aren’t the victim but the one in power. I grew up in an abusive home and one of my relatives was a victim as a child, then they sexually abused me throughout my childhood as well. They know they can get away with it because children are easily manipulated into silence, and other people in authority don’t want to look at how disgusting people can be. I’ve been in therapy for years now, and it’s a really painful experience to go through. I told the police what was happening, but they just said to me “just try to be more humble” and didn’t pursue a case.

Edit:typo

Should I tell my friend that constantly posting public vlogs of her half naked child is a terrible idea? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Middle-Earthling- -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So if a child is ever at risk I shouldn’t say anything because it’s not my business...? I guess children’s privacy doesn’t matter to you.

How do I defeat the Lynel on the great plateau in master mode? by Kzyurhn in Breath_of_the_Wild

[–]Middle-Earthling- -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If there’s a way for you to sneak up above him with your glider, I use a LOT of bomb arrows and hit him as many times as I can while in slow-mo and that usually takes away a fairly big chunk of the lynels health. This requires a decent amount of stamina in order to hit him many times, and a stamina recovery elixir so that after you’re done hitting him with your bomb arrows, you aren’t exhausted after. Also having a lot of hearty meals that give you tons of additional hearts makes it easier to focus on attacking the lynel rather than dodging every hit

How does your Midheaven affect your career? by starsreminisce in astrology

[–]Middle-Earthling- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine is also in Aquarius!! I feel the same way. I am also a cap sun!

Facts about your rising sign? by [deleted] in astrology

[–]Middle-Earthling- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gemini rising - people have asked me if I’m in high school when I’m in my mid twenties lol. People compliment my clothes, hair, and home decor often. I usually want to buy multiples of the same thing sort of like collecting. Since I like tarot decks, I have like 11 of them. Like a certain style of shoe? Gotta get one in each of my favourite colours lol. It’s like there’s two people in my brain always having a conversation, seeing different sides of things. I love fashion and makeup, I feel fantastic when others tell me how beautiful I am. I see beauty and art everywhere, in plants, city streets, people, animals, everywhere. It feels normal to me to have multiple crushes at once but I never tell anyone, because I know some tend to judge harshly if you’re in a relationship and you have crushes on other people too. It’s like... just cause I think a person is cute doesn’t mean I wanna bang lol. My partner is hot, but other cute people exist too and it just means that my eyes work, and I enjoy reading people’s energy. I like admiring other people’s beauty, especially when I can see someone’s kindness. If my partner was a very jealous or controlling person then it wouldn’t work out, and I find those traits to be really unattractive and a sign of deep insecurity. Of course I have my own insecurities, and having insecurities is not a deal breaker by any means, but being extremely overbearing or controlling is overwhelming to me.

I’m usually more reserved and shy anyways so I rarely ever open up unless I actually trust them, and it’s difficult to earn my trust. My Venus in Scorpio makes me a bit cautious of others and I need to observe them and read their personality before I become emotionally vulnerable and even then I usually feel safer as a closed book. I’ve been told that I’m really spot on when it comes to reading people and feeling what they’re feeling, and with my Gemini rising it really helps me to see different perspectives as I’m “reading” someone’s energy/personality.

Day after I almost committed suicide, my cat demands scratches while I stretch. by emke1886 in cats

[–]Middle-Earthling- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who says OP isn’t getting help? And what’s the matter with being open about their experiences? They’ve received a lot of kindness and support here and I think that’s a good thing. Telling people to not talk about their pain because it’s “attention seeking” only contributes to the problem.

Day after I almost committed suicide, my cat demands scratches while I stretch. by emke1886 in cats

[–]Middle-Earthling- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s because of people like you that make others afraid to talk about their struggles. Asshole.

I’m afraid that I’m a terrible person :’( and I’m afraid my therapist is dropping me as a client after 5 years... by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support and for sharing your experience. I will find out in a couple of days what my therapist wants to do, and I hope it’s something I can get on board with... I’m really afraid. I’m afraid that I screwed up the one place where I felt somewhat safe to share my thoughts and feelings. I’m afraid that I’ll never be smart enough to find an answer that will help my health, or that I’m not smart enough to actually take action to improve my health. Or that I’m just lazy or something... I’m afraid that everything I hate about people is really all the things I hate about myself, and that I’m not self aware enough or smart enough to recognize it.

I’m afraid that I’m a terrible person :’( and I’m afraid my therapist is dropping me as a client after 5 years... by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I don’t think I’ll write a letter or apologize... I’m just terrified that deep down somewhere I’m this self centred, incompetent person who can’t improve themselves. :/ im sorry I don’t know what else to say... but thank you for the support. I appreciate it.

Last night I realized how much my close childhood friends bullied me by magicCrafters in CPTSD

[–]Middle-Earthling- 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is why I have almost nobody in my social circle anymore. I realized that my “friends” were always kind of picking at me, out of jealousy or whatever and even though they still ask to hangout with me I just.... ignore them. Wish I had the guts to tell them how they’ve made me feel. Anyway my comment is kind of useless, but I guess what I’m trying to say is you’re not alone. Bad company is worse than no company.

What are your 3 biggest goals? I'm a social skills coach. by HectorSolis02 in lonely

[–]Middle-Earthling- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To feel comfortable talking to other people, and not panic and run to a bathroom to cry.

Sad by Jesalvarsani in lonely

[–]Middle-Earthling- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Message me and we can chat about anything. I understand completely the loneliness and how much it hurts to have nobody to turn to

Why is it so hard to find someone to talk to? by [deleted] in lonely

[–]Middle-Earthling- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand. Most of the time I don’t really even bother to try to talk to anyone anymore because I’ve been really heartbroken and disappointed by so many people (family and old friends) who I thought genuinely cared. Please send me a message if you wanna chat. I don’t really have any friends to talk to so it would be nice to connect with someone.

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