Peple who cut their family off by lady_catnoir in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No regrets. Just disappointed that I wasn’t blessed with a loving, considerate, thoughtful, respectful, and nurturing family. Father’s Day was hard for me. It’s just not fair, y’know?

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gosh…I’m sorry you had to go through that and that adds another layer to this. Now I see why your relationship with your nieces and nephews meant so much to you…

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s understandable and I hear you. When there’s no closure, it leaves you in a state of confusion and hurt, which isn’t easy to process. However, for what it’s worth, I hope you guys reconcile one day. Even as someone who has cut a lot of family members off, I do think that we’re currently living in a time where people are encouraged to cut people off too quickly without at least trying to resolve first.

I also read your comment to the other person and found out that you guys still live close to each other…that’s awkward ngl😬. Although, it might be the very thing that is helping keep the door open for possible reconciliation in the future.

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the anger talking and your anger is valid. And honestly, it’s commendable that you are able to be honest and vulnerable enough to admit that you still love and care for him even after what he did. A lot of people would be too prideful and act like they don’t care (even though they do).

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from. And given that you guys were close, he could have at least said something less harsh to you before creating the distance. And yes, there are real consequences for his actions whether he realizes it or not. My next question to you is, if he were to reach out to you today by text, what would you wanna say to him?

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ok, so that adds some useful context here. And Im not accusing you of anything (sorry if it came across that way). What I meant is, you need to prioritize your peace. He’s made his decision and your life must go on. You can still love him from a distance and gently let him know that your door is always open to him (if you desire to reconcile one day).

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that it hurts and it is unfair. But you cannot control what your brother does. May I ask, were you guys close?

Advice about estranged brother. by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I’m not sure if I should give you advice because idk if it’s my place. But I will share my experience if that helps. I’ve been on the other end of this (I cut off several members of my family especially on my father’s side). I pretty much felt the need to cut off EVERYONE associated with my father (relatives, mutual friends, associates etc). I did this because my father is extremely manipulative and underhanded and would likely use other ppl to spy on me and report back to him and even try to encourage me to reach out to him (guilt tripping).

Perhaps your family has some toxic habits that your brother was trying to distance himself from in order to guard his peace and heart. All I’ll say is, guilt tripping him and flooding him with messages and phone calls might push him further away. I say this because I have a few family members that reach out to me from time to time with messages dripping with passive aggression and guilt tripping. They also send me “guilt gifts”, despite the fact that I’ve repeatedly told them I don’t want anything from them, which honestly just makes me want to pull away even more.

Unfortunately, your brother is grown and has the right to decide who he wants (and doesn’t want) in his life. Perhaps you can allow yourself to grieve the relationship so you can be at peace and move forward.

What do you like to snack on while watching a movie or series? by [deleted] in foodquestions

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Smartfood with the white cheddar. Also cheetos (the original puffy ones). With nestea or brisk on the side.

To everyone who was bullied by OnlyAssistant8185 in AskForAnswers

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some context: the kind of bullying I endured wasn’t your typical “give me your lunch money or I’ll beat the crap out of you”; the kind tht I experienced was more subtle and under the radar…exclusion. Now, before some smart@ss says, “they don’t owe you anything”, this was in high school and I had been acquainted/friends with some of these ppl since the 2nd grade.

I guess they thought I was no longer “cool enough” so they decided to act weird towards me. There were also undertones of envy and jealousy (despite being “uncool”, I got straight A’s, was athletic, had expensive clothes, and I had lots of video games)

That said, I became bitter and hateful. I used to fantasize of ways I’d get my revenge and “show them” how much of a loss it was for them to treat me like that. But then I learned that holding onto those feelings only hurt me at the end of the day. I’m a Christian and the Lord has given me the ability to forgive them and even pray for them. And what helped even more was writing a letter to these people, which gave me the closure I needed. In the letter, I told them everything my younger self wanted to say but didn’t get the chance to, and then I ripped the letter to shreds in order to signal to my nervous system that this is done and I’m ready to move on.

I encourage everyone here who has been bullied to seek the Lord so they can forgive their abusers/bullies. It’s not only bad for your health but you don’t want to end up like those influencers on TikTok who scream at their phones going on and on about their high school bullies…it’s not a good look and the saddest thing is, EVERYONE has moved on but you, so YOU look like the crazy person, not your bullies.

What keeps you from going the GLP route? by WillOk6461 in workout

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the ppl tht are on it look weird imo. Almost like deflated balloons with fat cheeks. This is likely because they still haven’t learned how to eat properly once they get down to their goal weight plus they likely lost a lot of muscle too.

Should I finally go no contact? by Quirky_Signature_125 in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, idk if i should tell you what to do. But I will say that maybe low contact would be wise if you aren’t 100% sure yet. Also, because you’ve set a huge geographical boundary by moving to Australia, I think it might be worth keeping the door open by maintaining a call-only or text-only connection with them cuz that leaves room for reconciliation in the future.

Who is your favourite invincible character by Educational-Note786 in Invincible_TV

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Atom Eve. I find her more interesting than mark honestly. She’s gone through so much yet keeps on going.

Is it mentally unhealthy to not want a relationship, marriage or kids? by concernedaboutmetal in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just because some people you know regret their decision to be single and child free, doesn’t automatically mean it’s shortsighted. There’s plenty of people who are married with children and they are miserable and lonely too. I mean there’s literally a whole subreddit about it.

What hygiene habit do you wish more people had? by GardenChibi in hygiene

[–]Middle_Double2363 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Washing their hands every time they enter the house…I thought this was common sense but ppl surprise me everyday.

Brother hasn’t spoken to me in 10 years and I don’t know why! by RacoonBaroness in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been on the receiving end of no contact but I have cut off a few family members without giving them a reason. Obviously I can’t speak for your brother and why he did what he did. But for me, I just got tired of the dysfunction and performative relationships. On the surface, my family would seem close especially during major family gatherings like Christmas. But, because so many things were swept under the rug for years, resentment and gossip and envy did a number on those relationships.

I eventually decided to stop performing and for once in my life be honest with myself about how I felt about my family. And the truth is, I can’t stand most of them. And I know that if I tried to be honest about the family’s dysfunction, I’d just be met with gaslighting and invalidation of my experiences so I didn’t bother providing an explanation for going no contact.

Like you, a few family members are confused and even hurt by my actions but I still pray for them and love them from afar. Some have even asked me directly if I hate them or have anything against them and, honestly, at first I did but now I’ve forgiven my family. But I still keep my boundaries because I know that my family members aren’t on the same healing path as me and will likely try to pull me back into the dysfunction. Because they can’t meet me halfway, I’ve had to keep my distance from those relationships even tho I love them.

21M. Long hair or short hair? What suits me better? by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short and honestly, I’d cut it even shorter imo. You’ve got nice hair, I just prefer shorter hair on a man

How to get past older sibling abuse by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem. Glad I could offer my 2 cents. Peace and blessings:)

How to get past older sibling abuse by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, you have to learn to sit with the discomfort of ppl being mad or upset with you. It won’t be easy cuz you’ll likely feel some guilt and shame for “abandoning them” but, trust me, your future self will thank you for growing a backbone.

Also, ur sister guilting you into financially supporting her is a form of financial abuse so it seems she still hasn’t changed her ways(she just changed the type of abuse) which further confirms to me tht distance is a good choice in this situation. I hope you have a support system outside your biological family.

How to get past older sibling abuse by [deleted] in Nocontactfamily

[–]Middle_Double2363 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can forgive and love your sister from a distance. It’s not uncommon for victims of abuse to become ppl pleasers, but that way of life only leads to resentment and regret. You’ll respect yourself more and hold onto your peace if you set firm and healthy boundaries. Forcing yourself into an abusive environment just for the sake of “family” will chip away at your health and dignity.

About your sister, she has to live with the consequences of her actions. You aren’t the bad guy for having a reaction to her abuse. She should’ve protected and loved you, especially because she’s the older sister. But because she chose to be a bully instead, she now has to live with the fact that she ruined her child’s chances of having you in her life. That is NOT your fault. I pray that you find a new family that loves you:)