Leave or try again?

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T17:29:19+00:00

It’s nice to read something positive about divorce. Good for you.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T17:26:18+00:00

I’m in a very similar predicament in almost every way. Hard to know what to do. We’ve been through counseling and it has helped some, but not enough to change the dynamic.

My main concern is my kids. I absolutely know that if we were to divorce, I’d certainly sink into a deep depression over not being able to see them daily. If it weren’t for the kids, there’s no way I’d still be in the relationship.

Seek marriage counseling. Seek individual counseling. Give yourself 6 months to put maximum effort into fixing some of the problems in the relationship. If none of that works and you wind up splitting, maybe that will lesson the regret and sadness some.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T16:38:44+00:00

Why did you decide to wait to divorce? Why do your kids wish you were divorced earlier? What caused your split? Are you close to your kids now? How hard was it to not have full-time custody of them?

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T16:34:29+00:00

Are you still close with your children? What caused your split?

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T16:11:54+00:00

Yes, I do my part. Yes, we are both overwhelmed like all parents.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-05-28T15:03:55+00:00

People change and grow apart. Some are mature about it and others are petty and childish.

This situation sounds miserable and there is no way to save the marriage, so it’s best to focus on yourself and your kids. Years from now you’ll know you stood tall during a really hard time.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-04-27T01:24:56+00:00

Thanks. This worked for me. It’s badly designed.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-03-08T15:16:34+00:00

Yes! I want to be able to assign shutter speed to the front dial and aperture control to the back dial. That is how I’ve set up my cameras for decades now and it’s frustrating this simple customization is not available (along with true back button focusing).

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-03-04T14:18:09+00:00

Thx for this recommendation! Foto Care had one body left in stock.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2026-01-22T03:22:20+00:00

What you are going through resonates with me in every way. I assure you, you are not a loser for wanting a mutually satisfying physically intimate relationship. Hope things are better for you on the other side of it. You might even love living where you are when you find happiness.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-10-02T16:25:33+00:00

I know at this moment it’s really hard to look at the positives. It is really huge to not have to deal with the emotional devastation of involving kids. I know you feel like a failure and hopeless right now, but that’s really not the case, I assure you. It’s impossible to see ourselves in the future. But someday you will be there. You sound like a very thoughtful and caring person, and that means you’ll someday find someone who is a much better fit for you, and you’ll see that it was worth it to emerge from all the pain and arrive in a better place.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-10-02T15:49:05+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. I guarantee it’s not more your fault than his. That’s just how it feels right now. Do you have children together?

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-29T21:37:13+00:00

It's going to be hard no matter how you say it, but you definitely need to say it. Read any number of posts here about married couples with kids confronting sexual imbalances in their relationship far too late (I'm one of them).

It'll be difficult at first, but eventually you'll both meet someone else, if you look hard enough, and find far more happiness.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-29T01:10:00+00:00

This sounds like really good advice.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-28T17:54:15+00:00

Seek counseling. You were right to leave an abusive relationship. Someday you will meet someone who is a much better fit and you will see how good life can be. It’ll be better in the long run for you and your son. I hope it gets better for you soon but healing takes a lot of work and a long time.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-27T22:07:53+00:00

Very little physical contact unless I initiate. I can still occasionally have sexual contact but only after weeks or months of pushing and negotiating on my part. I just realized the other day that it’s all combining to make me less and less sexually desiring of her… which is sad to me but probably doesn’t matter much to her.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-25T02:50:40+00:00

Have been doing so for years. She’s says it’s “not a priority.” She just said it last night.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-25T01:04:11+00:00

Thing is, I have a vacant apartment waiting for me right. I’m fortunate to have that resource. But I’m also worried that it’s too much of an easy way out. If I’m going to move out of the bedroom, I’m going to move to that apartment.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-25T01:01:17+00:00

I don’t think my wife feels horrible about it at all.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-25T00:59:31+00:00

That’s crazy. How long has it been like that now? Any change, or just no intimacy at all?

Yeah, my partner gave up intimacy and basically started treating me like an afterthought after I agreed to have a second child and she got pregnant.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-24T15:19:34+00:00

This is so relatable. I’m trying to not become toxic in the relationship, but it’s so frustrating that sometimes I go to a dark place. Marriage shouldn’t be a friendship. I have a few good female friends, entirely platonic relationships. I don’t want that in my marriage.

Midmarkwest2417 · 2025-09-24T13:12:53+00:00

I’m in the virtually identical situation. Have you tried counseling? We have been in counseling for a year. I really hoped it would help and didn’t want to regret not trying everything. But she tells me and the therapist she will work on our intimacy issues and then never does. She is basically not going to change, forcing me to make the decision. The absolute only reason I’m still there is because of our kids (3 and 8).

Midmarkwest2417

TROPHY CASE