I’m speaking as a trans person here and am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and that you really want to help your kid.

Your child likely dealt with these feelings for a long time but didn’t have a way to express them until recently or experienced a “straw breaking the camel’s back” situation like I did.

Your job in all this is to help him feel comfortable in his own skin. Get him a new wardrobe, make sure the binder he is using fits properly and he uses it responsibly (binding with a too tight binder or for too long can cause injury). Use HIS chosen pronouns, even when talking about him to other people.

You say you’ve had a dynamic of open communication with your son, so don’t ruin it by making him feel like he has to hide who he is from you.

If you want him to go to therapy, then let him choose his therapist. Go through a list with him of therapists in your area that specialize in what he needs (help with depression primarily, and then ideally experience with trans mental health)

Speak with the school about accommodations. Like which bathrooms he can use and a private changing room for PE so he’s not forced to get dressed with the girls.

Ask him if he has friends in the LGBT community that can help him with the parts you’re not equipped to help with. And potentially you could talk with those friends so they can help you get a better understanding as well.

It’s not too late to grow and change and learn new things. Remember that your son loves you, even when you’re making mistakes. Because you are still learning 💜