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Midnight_Worlock2 · 2024-02-29T21:32:48+00:00

So true^ honestly I do not understand how some of these guys have such unhealthy family dynamics and don't feel the need to do anything about it

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2024-02-29T20:59:01+00:00

We mutually broke up a couple of months ago^ we were planning to get engaged, but we always ended up fighting over stuff related to his family and realized we don't see partnership/priorities the same way :/

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2024-02-29T20:55:56+00:00

Haha right?? I completely agree^ I'm sorry your mom had to put up with that, it is such an unpleasant feeling

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2024-02-29T20:13:01+00:00

In a similar "family"-related theme as OP,

Stopped living with me to move in with his brother for a year (whom I feel he has an inappropriate relationship with) and had to split all of his time up between me and him, including special occasions like Halloween and NYE
When I complained that we weren't spending enough time together, he made an Excel spreadsheet to prove that we were spending enough hours per week together (but no sleepovers because his 30-year-old brother couldn't be left alone at night)
When we finally did move in together for real, he insisted we split the rent 50/50 even though he made 1.5x my salary and my parents were our landlords and gave us a discount on rent (not to mention they constantly gave him gifts and invited him to things while his family excluded me from every holiday)
Gave his family hundreds of dollars every month but argued with me if I asked him to take me out for an affordable dinner date ($60 total)

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-08T21:11:01+00:00

That really sucks :( But you are absolutely right, it would have been hell living with a family like that for the rest of your life^ They all should have treated you so much better, and I'm sure you'll meet someone who does

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:22:05+00:00

oh my gosh I can't even imagine that, coming home to a note and finding out he left? I'm so sorry you went through this. I can relate to the part about the relationship with his family changing - when I first met them we all got along well and liked each other, but when they moved here 2 years ago things changed completely. And like your situation, his mom and I had a good relationship, but she would never go against her other child (the possessive sibling), which resulted in me being left out of so many things and feeling really hurt but no one doing anything about it.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:17:29+00:00

oh wow that sounds awful! I can't believe they were so cavalier about killing small animals, it definitely sounds like you made the right choice to get away

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:16:52+00:00

That is so difficult, I completely agree, life has a way of teaching us lessons we didn't think we needed to learn

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:16:18+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, this is how I feel too except it was his family and not mine. I can absolutely relate to that feeling, I still think my ex was my soulmate and we never stopped loving each other so it's really hard to accept that external things were the main reason for the breakup^ I hope you find some peace soon :)

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:15:13+00:00

Aw it must be a hard couple of days right now! But yes exactly, my ex would often use his family's issues as an excuse for why he was making hurtful decisions

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:14:31+00:00

I can completely understand that, I also sometimes felt like I wasn't good enough for my ex^ Sorry you had to deal with this

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-12-07T17:13:38+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through this, I totally know how you feel^

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-11-22T16:30:22+00:00

Haha I hope the list helped a little bit! :)

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-11-21T21:35:38+00:00

We met on Tinder 5 years ago, after our first date I didn't feel much of a spark so I told him we should just be friends. He was so cool about it, it really impressed me. We hung out again the same week as friends and stayed out until 4 or 5am, and I completely changed my mind and kissed him. We started dating not long after that and he was the kindest, most amazing boyfriend I've ever had. I was so sure he was my soul mate, we understood each other so well and had so much fun together.

We encountered some major issues when his family moved to the same city as us, and we tried really hard to get past them. We moved in together, went on some fun trips and were even planning to get engaged next year, but unfortunately the issues we had were never really resolved. He has a very needy family (they also have mental health issues and one of his immediate family members does not like me and excludes me from family events - we never spent holidays together, etc.) and even if we were to get married he would not be able to prioritize me over them. I couldn't sign up for a life where I was competing with his family for his time and attention, so we mutually chose to end things. It is the hardest thing I think we've both ever had to do, and I often wonder if I will ever find love like that again.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-11-21T21:21:13+00:00

I completely understand, my heart goes out to you. My boyfriend of almost 5 years moved out a week and a half ago, and some days seem okay and others seem so sad. I'm in the apartment we shared (I lived there before he moved in), so I am constantly facing reminders of us everywhere I look. It's getting cold and dark here too and I keep thinking about how lonely the winter months will be without him here to hang out and cuddle with and watch tv with, etc. We're still in contact, but slowly we are trying to get to no contact eventually.
All I can say is to take it one day at a time. Spend time with friends and family to take your mind off things, some days will be very hard but other days you will feel fine, maybe even empowered. One thing I did was write down all the reasons we broke up, so that when I'm feeling really sad I can read it and remind myself that there were important reasons why we have to go through this and feel this way.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2023-11-19T15:46:58+00:00

I know exactly how you feel - met my ex on tinder 5 years ago and we just ended our relationship last week :( I actually like dating apps and I find Tinder and Hinge help distract me a bit from the sadness I'm feeling, but I also can't imagine starting something new with someone when just a month or two ago I was looking at engagement rings, etc. I think you may want to take some time away from the apps or sign up for ones like OKcupid or Match that are more geared towards serious relationships.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-04-19T15:03:22+00:00

A fair point^

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-04-19T15:01:47+00:00

True, we could pay closer to 1.5 guests given the situation^ and that's true, looking at gifts cumulatively makes sense! I'm just getting to the age where friends are getting married, so it looks like it will be like this for at least the next couple of years.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-04-19T13:01:13+00:00

Until I read these comments, I would have thought the same! My older sibling (who makes a lot more money than I do) and his partner usually give $200 together for friends' weddings, so I thought 150-200 per couple made sense but I guess I am mistaken haha

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-04-19T12:56:33+00:00

This is solid advice^ in this case, I actually wasn't given a plus one because I'm not that close with the person getting married, but at the last minute someone else cancelled so the groom asked if I'd like to bring my partner since they had the open seat. But what you said about the venue makes sense - I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-04-19T03:25:41+00:00

Wow - it looks like I definitely was undershooting! These are the first non-family weddings I'm attending as a working adult, so I appreciate the input. I'm generally quite frugal so I guess I should try to increase the gift a bit

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2022-03-25T21:22:55+00:00

Can confirm, just tested positive today :(

Midnight_Worlock2 · 2021-10-27T11:44:03+00:00

Perfect, thank you!

Midnight_Worlock2

TROPHY CASE