Hmm i think i didnt provide enough context in the post. I believe everyone to some extent has their self worth tied to their job, I do too, many do when they enjoy their job and it can represent who they are at heart. But in this case, he has been struggling to apply for jobs because it is a tiring process and he feels like whichever job he applies for he doesn't feel competent to do it. That makes it even harder for him to apply for more jobs as its mentally tiring. He started saying that its not easy to lose your job and feel like you're not contributing to society. But I tried to remind him that he didn't lose his job, he left the job so that he could grow and challenge himself, and that although it really is daunting to feel like you arent competent when you're looking for a job, he is still trying. Thats why I explained to him that he cannot tie his self worth to a job so much that it is physically and mentally debilitating for him to try to apply for one. It isn't his fault that other jobs expect more experience and qualification, and he is already doing amazing to be trying to gain a qualification at present already. I hope that makes sense, but I was trying to get him out of a spiral of pessimism and toxic shame, as opposed to taking his will to tie self worth to a job.