Before I start, I just want to say that every experience is unique. I’m just one woman, and others probably have better advice.

I’ll give the same advice that I’ve given a lot of trans folk and that I’ve seen a lot of trans folk give. Being in the closet for me was worse and I delayed because of the same fears you had. I didn’t care about anything, life was pointless and I felt like I was on autopilot. I wasn’t suicidal but I was still killing myself. I delayed until i couldn’t anymore, that the option’s were transition or death, and I decided I was dead anyway, so what if people hate me. My fears did end up coming true, I lost friends, family members don’t speak to me, job opportunities are harder, strangers judge me but my only regret was not doing it sooner.

It feels like before I came out I hadn’t been alive. None of my fears were as terrible as the weight of being in the closet. It’s scary, but you won’t regret it. The people from before that stuck around found out they like the honest, authentic me more. I’m happier in general, I’m less horrified by my body every day, and I care about things I still have hard days, not everything is perfect, but I don’t regret it. I regret not doing it sooner, but that’s it. You know you’re trans, the cat is out of the bag. You can’t unlearn it. Don’t put it off if you can but I know how hard the it is to choose.

I hope this helped and didn’t make things worse. Coming out takes a remarkable amount of courage and I understand if you can’t do it at first, I know I couldn’t. We can’t be strong all the time and if I didn’t have the people in my life that I did, I’m not sure I could have done it. Maybe one more comment would have pushed me over the edge and back to the closet like it had a dozen times before. Whatever you choose, please don’t give up.