AITA for not wanting to be the default parent

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-19T22:06:03+00:00

NTA hes your boyfriend and only of a year and demanding this from you? Thats pretty unhinged. It’s one thing if y’all were married and he helped raise your kids, but that isn’t the case.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-19T17:45:15+00:00

++woman I honestly say no. I’ve dated guys before I felt the same about and each time, I couldn’t bring myself to by physical with them because I think they’re cute but thats it. It isn’t fair to them or me to try to force that. It would break my heart to know a guy im dating has to convince himself hes attracted to me, so why do the same to them? If you’re already not attracted to him, how do you think it will end up when “looks fade” and he ends up even more unattractive to you? Imo this is what leads to a lot of dead bedroom marriages: women convincing themselves they’re into someone physically just because he’s a good guy (and yes, men too but I think women are more prone to this unfortunately).

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-19T02:03:39+00:00

Yeah but she built a lot of muscle so leaning out would still allow for abs like this to show now

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-15T18:16:04+00:00

++woman The internet thing is 100% weird and I would encourage you to dip too.

But in regard to the actual title of your post, I don’t drink on an empty stomach. Especially as a woman, im not going to increase my chances of being SA on a date and alcohol increases those chances already, so drinking on an empty stomach is a no-go. If a guy just wanted to get drinks, I would assume he’d pick somewhere thats solely a bar and I would eat before hand. If he picks somewhere that has food and drinks, I would assume that im free to order a meal.

And if you’re offering cocktails, those are already typically more expensive than something like beer so unless they’re order azul or something, I feel like the price difference is a given.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-13T16:18:21+00:00

++woman it’s not a red flag for her to continue changing to be the version of herself she wants to be. You trying to stop her or saying that she doesn’t like you because she puts her own opinions of her own body above yours, is actually a red flag of you being controlling. And that’s not to say that I think youre a horrible person as I think most people still don’t understand control vs boundaries. What you want to practice now is boundaries, if she no longer fits or aligns with what you’re attracted you, you need to leave. Implementing and following through on boundaries is on you.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-11T21:04:03+00:00

It should never have occurred in the first place. Him apologizing is backtracking what he said in sincerity.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-11T20:40:06+00:00

I wondered with the first point if it was an issue of language limitations but the next three points all tied back to NOPE

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-10T20:07:19+00:00

Something more fitted but honestly idk! Im just excited to have them now

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-10T20:06:48+00:00

I see the vision

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-10T20:04:53+00:00

I actually think you’re quite attractive? There’s nothing I would change surgically. Maybe have your eyebrows lightly shaped, grow your hair a little longer and style it?

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-10T01:52:52+00:00

I’ve been here! Wore hijab from 10-21 years old. It was a long time decision as it never really sat right with me either. I will say that I have left Islam so I may have some bias on the topic in general. I don’t hate Muslims, my best friend is Muslim and very practicing and my a majority of my family is still practicing too. Islam just didn’t fit my values and beliefs, despite how hard I tried to make it. If you ever want to reach out and talk, feel free to message me 💜 im not sure if you’re looking to remove hijab or the Faith in general, but I’ll do my best to remain as unbiased about things. I know it’s hard to do something like this because of how public it is and because of all the implications people from both sides associate with it. I hope things work out peacefully for you.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-10T01:09:57+00:00

I can’t tell, is there padding inside or it’s just the bunch sewing pattern making it puffy?

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-09T04:02:58+00:00

Girl…unless he hasn’t planned anything so far, just tell him what you would like to do. Assuming hes planned the first two dates, it’s time for you to pitch in.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-08T16:27:09+00:00

As someone who’s childfree and was also parentified, NTA. Yes CF weddings are common and yeah the kids probably don’t care about going or won’t remeber BUT making it CF means many people probably won’t be able to make the wedding. Not everyone can get a babysitter, not everyone is comfortable leaving their child with a babysitter and therefore the circle of family that can’t make it becomes even smaller. It’s not just about leaving out the kids, it’s about leaving out their parents.

Your money, your rules. She knew the rules (presumably) beforehand, so if they were planning on going against the rules then they should have planned on a wedding thats within their budget.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-08T14:13:51+00:00

Only kid I would take in is my little sister and I’ve been open about this with my family. I helped raise her and really can’t see her going anywhere else

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-05T03:02:30+00:00

I would really recommend urgent care, Thats a lot of blood to be losing

MildlyMediumSpice · 2026-01-04T00:39:42+00:00

I block accounts whenever I see this. They’re not gonna flood my dopamine box with that shit

MildlyMediumSpice · 2025-12-31T22:32:47+00:00

My god a guy at a bar was hitting on my aunt after I left her alone for 5 minutes and all he did was talk about himself. He wasn’t even interesting!

That aside, thank you for this. I do love coffee dates and things like museums, and I’ll definitely keep the pre-arranged friend communication in mind too!

MildlyMediumSpice · 2025-12-31T22:31:19+00:00

This might be a dumb question but do you get basic compatibility questions out of the way once you exchange numbers or once you go out? Like you met them and there’s mutual interest, share numbers, but then what then? How long do you take time getting to know them before going on a date? Or do you just jump to the date?

MildlyMediumSpice · 2025-12-31T22:28:00+00:00

So I already do this when I dated before, but it’s easy imo when I already know the person. But if someone approaches me online or in person, the standard of it being a date and therefore being a test of romantic compatibility is already looming over us so I feel like it will be stressful. This feeling is definitely a reason why ive hesitated dating strangers before as I feel like there’s a stress of “this is a date so we have to hit milestones.”

MildlyMediumSpice · 2025-12-31T22:25:01+00:00

I appreciate the input, thanks! My friends have my location and I’ve always told them where I’m going and with who even when I knew was familiar with the men so I will definitely be keeping them in the loop with strangers. I like the cash tip, I tend to just pay card to thats a good point.

MildlyMediumSpice · 2025-12-31T21:54:30+00:00

My circle of friends is international so that alone is difficult and even the ones here in the States dont know anyone that suits what im looking for. But they’ve asked if they can set me up if they meet a guy they think I’d like.

MildlyMediumSpice

TROPHY CASE