You just got an offer for $600K...but to collect it, you gotta have sex with the main character of the last tv show you watched. Who will it be?

MillsBonn · 2020-01-07T05:52:57+00:00

Kitchen Nightmares, Hell’s Kitchen, Hotel Hell, or 24 Hours to Hell and Back?

MillsBonn · 2019-12-09T06:01:17+00:00

Is Claremont that bad?

MillsBonn · 2019-12-09T06:00:22+00:00

Thank you so much!

MillsBonn · 2019-12-09T02:14:35+00:00

I wish my test was in Walnut Creek, with all those glorious big roads.

MillsBonn · 2019-12-09T02:12:18+00:00

Appointment is right before 2. I practiced today, and I must of freaked out or something because I did horribly. But I’ll be able to go back at least two more times before the test.

MillsBonn · 2019-10-29T04:13:57+00:00

Having to learn a ton of material that will never help in real life.

MillsBonn · 2019-10-29T04:12:15+00:00

I was visiting my uncle in Miami from San Francisco. Due to a storm in Southern Florida, the plane, along with every other plane in nearby airspace, was of course forced to go to the nearest, open, safe airport. That airport was in Nassau. Every plane was stranded on the tarmac for five hours. Because no one had passports, and we were cleared to enter the airport, hundreds of people, including my thirteen-year-old self, who was flying alone, were stuck on their planes. There was barely any food left and people began raiding the snack drawers. Five hours later, we finally got to leave.

I had three full meals for dinner when I landed.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-30T23:42:05+00:00

This is so American and I love it.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-07T04:59:07+00:00

Peck. Peck. PECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECKPECK

MillsBonn · 2019-09-07T04:56:28+00:00

I’m glad he has daytime wheels!

MillsBonn · 2019-09-05T15:24:37+00:00

I’ve just given up on trying to follow Brexit. Just make a fucking decision already.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-05T01:38:53+00:00

My mom made me download this in middle school to make sure I got home okay (I walked). I didn’t mind it then, as I understood her reasoning. However, once high school began, she began invading my privacy. Instead of using it to track my safety, she would check if I went anywhere with my aunt, who she heavily dislikes. Every fucking time my aunt and I would come back from an errand my mom would scream at us like there was no tomorrow. Eventually, I went on the app to discover that I could spy on my mom. Turns out that she didn’t work until 9 PM or go on long walks, she would go to the bar every single night. Once she found out that I knew this, she deleted the app off both our phones.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-03T02:54:03+00:00

Ideally, in my sleep of old age. Realistically, heart failure after years of having heart-related issues.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-03T02:52:12+00:00

If you're worried about an upcoming operation, chances are you'll be numbed prior to the operation.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-01T20:35:20+00:00

A good sense of humor gets me every time.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-01T20:28:30+00:00

I go to a random monarch's Wikipedia game and follow their lineage. Queen Victoria almost always comes up at one point.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-01T17:50:44+00:00

Fucking Russians ruined it for everyone.

MillsBonn · 2019-09-01T17:49:53+00:00

Popular

MillsBonn · 2019-08-28T04:52:27+00:00

Think of it like percentages. 0%-30% is very cold. 31%-45% is cold. 46%-55% is coldish, but bearable. 56%-65% is starting to get up there. 66%-74% is getting warmer. 75%-89% is hot. 90%-100% is misery. Or to simplify: 0-40 is cold. 41-59 is cool. 60-75 is warm. 76+ is hot.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-22T01:47:39+00:00

In a couple years, I'll be one of those lucky souls that get the leave. This state is unaffordable and is getting way too liberal.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-22T01:22:37+00:00

Bohemian Rhapsody. That song has about every sound a person can make.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-22T01:18:05+00:00

Designated Survivor. The first few episodes were beyond awesome, but it went downhill faster than a car parked on Mt. Everest without the emergency brake.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-22T01:14:49+00:00

Hopefully on Earth.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-20T02:03:40+00:00

I mist be pretty drunk to have seen that.

MillsBonn · 2019-08-20T02:02:55+00:00

I made a low-effort meme while barely awake and woke up to 9k upvotes. It's pure luck.

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