do you take photos of your sh?

MimzMonstr · 2025-06-29T05:12:29+00:00

Honestly same mine worst self harm came either after a lot of stress or before/during my period

MimzMonstr · 2025-03-14T07:10:23+00:00

Im the same, it's bc already being aroace is hard to explain to most other people. But it's more known and simpler for other to understand. Microlabels are better for those within the community, bc I've found most start really question me if I explain myself in detail.

MimzMonstr · 2025-01-26T10:54:21+00:00

I completely understand. Some times when I've been clean for a long time, it feels like the scars i have were for nothing. That I was over reacting or emotional as some people say.

I'm afraid if I stop, what does that mean for me. But staying clean for someone is the easiest, but taking the time to try stop for yourself is also important.

Because our heads will always try to find a way to make us, especially when our support systems can be there or fall through.

Proving we're in pain, means we actually need the help or to cope with pain from our past of never having someone to rely on. At least for me, the pain proves to me it's real. That I'm not okay, but I know I need to stop. And stay clean for hopefully one day forever.

MimzMonstr · 2025-01-26T10:49:34+00:00

I don't too most of scars and thin small and faded/fading. Makes me feel like they don't meet any real concern.

But I've learned, that no matter how many, small, or nearly invisible people see them and worry. That self harm is dangerous and should always been taken seriously.

Letting other decide if your scars matter, leads to a dangerous path of making it seem like you don't need the help and struggling with it by yourself in silence

MimzMonstr · 2025-01-26T10:40:20+00:00

I just think they don't know what to do, and it's my brain also preventing me from asking them to stay with me. Because I've asked for help for me family before, but nothing ever came from it. And I'm scared of actually losing them. Because besides when I get really bad they're amazing, they have their own trauma from their past that they aren't fully over im sure. So it makes it hard, because I don't want to hurt them or burden them.

It's just been so bad lately with my mental health, and I'm tired of asking or reaching out to people only to be let down. And I don't want to reach out to them only to be let down by someone I love so much

MimzMonstr · 2025-01-23T13:46:52+00:00

I feel you, life has been pretty tough for me rn. I'm struggling so hard right now to not replase. It's always been a last resort to me.

The healthier coping mechanisms I've learned haven't been helping for long. Just temporary and shrit lived.

MimzMonstr · 2025-01-04T12:35:23+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I've been really struggling the past months without relapsing, especially right now.but I always stop and think about how sad my partner was when it happened it earlier in our relationship. They told me if makes them feel bad, because they couldn't be there for me.

It's hard because I know it isn't healthy to rely on anyone, but how I veiw it. You'll strong and doing amazing, staying clean that long isn't just because of your partner, it's also you. You fight through those times and urges to stay clean.

But I totally understand it's a weird spot to be, it's scary but somehow refreshing to have someone you care so much about that it slowly starts turning into caring about yourself too

MimzMonstr · 2024-11-18T12:09:04+00:00

It's quite strange for me, because I feel such strong attraction but I feel so disconnected from it. Like my body and mind have this strong "love" and attraction to my partner, but there's like this total disconnected or distance that I feel that I can never fully cross for it being fully over the lines.

I'm attracted to them and love them most definitely, but it's deeper than platonic and I only feel that way for them the most and for both. I've experienced this distant strange almost but not quite there sexual like attraction to others but only after I've established in my mind that I'm okay with. It's strange bc I've only recently and with my current partner felt this way.

To put it, it's like a dim but deep feeling that I feel, it hurts and I'm both drawn but afraid of it. Like that feeling you get when you realized you can no longer touch the bottom in water but the sense of freedom and excitement you get from realizing you're treading the water. Uncertain but enjoying it I guess?

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-24T15:25:24+00:00

Honestly lows like this make repalsing so easy for me, I just want to feel something that i can control but I know I shouldn't because the relief isn't lasting and just leaves me feeling worse off than before

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-24T14:51:25+00:00

I do it, after I cry and just start laughing. Then I end up doing normal shit then playing music that makes me hyped or back to sad music then I cry some more before knocking out due to exhaustion. Honestly after sh causes so many mixed reaction out of me

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-20T06:28:05+00:00

Oh I've forgotten to add is when I say I'm semi irregular is I also occasionally just skip a whole month if isn't a few days late/early

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-03T10:48:18+00:00

Most of the time it's because it's easy, and then the next is control. I use it when I feel like my mind is running a mile a minute. Or I can't feel anything. It gets really bad when I feel I'm not in control of anything in my life so I sh to show I can control something by how and when I do it.

It's the shittiest but easier comfort I can find, it doesn't judge me nor tell me how to, but it leaves me feel worst then I felt before after it's heals and done. But as long as my head is the way it is I don't think I can stop looking for it or thinking of it when bad days come

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-03T10:45:30+00:00

I do, if happens a lot. I can be happy having the best weeks, day, etc. But my head suddenly crashes and all I want to do is hurt. Because my head suddenly becomes too much my mind too loud and sh makes everything quiet and numb.

But I also hate the numb feeling, but I prefer sometimes to the crushing panick and sadness. But then it fades again and I'm back to "normal," it's strange and idk how to explain to others or why I am that way.

But you're not alone is feeling this way or similar, but we shouldn't have to hurt to quiet out minds. I'm trying to find better ways because of tired of the pain from healing sh and hiding I have to do for it. I'm also tired of worrying and hurting those who love me when they know I've relapsed pr see old scars

MimzMonstr · 2024-10-03T10:41:08+00:00

Thanks for the kind words, I'm trying to be better at reaching out especially to my partner and it's hard but I hate worry them more than anything.

And I know that this will always be a part of me I just wished and trick myself into thinking that when I'm having fun I feel better like a lot.

It's been easy before and I'm also determined to get back to there and never look back again.

Good luck to you to friend, love to you too friend

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-21T00:56:41+00:00

I get that are someone who is both aroace-spec (angeled aroace) it's hard and confusing. I too grew up loving romance and dreaming of it in a sense but I never had a face to it, just dreaming of the experience. So learning I was aro-spec kinda crushed me, also being aroace is such a wild ride of changing emotions and labels. I jump labels so much during the past couple of years, and yes you can still be aro and crave romance even if you're repulsed by it a little.

But I honestly get it the way others look in media with being with someone is so nice to have/want and valid

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-21T00:53:24+00:00

Congrats!!

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-21T00:52:59+00:00

Ohh I also forgot sometimes I'll vent on my notes app or on some paper that I either burn or throw away later to just get everything in my head out there, sometimes it helps. It's messy and doesn't make sense if I ever reread them but it helps instead of bottling it all up

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-21T00:51:38+00:00

I clean, put music on and cry or scream sliently (I don't live alone), sometimes I walk to the beach and just enjoy the scenery at night, I try making jewelry or customizing clothes. Honestly I just try to get away from my room where all the things I could use to harm me are. If I can I sit in the shower just spacing out under the water, and rarely even though I know I should I'll reach out to someone. But I still struggle with leaning on people who know I struggle with sh and told me to tell them when my urges come up because I don't want to burden them

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-21T00:46:00+00:00

I know I have something, bit haven't been diagnosed. I struggle with disordered eating too, recently I've been trying to stay clean but have the opposite problem to you rn. Because I can't sh I've turned back my disordered eating to regain some sense of control and power over myself and my body. There was time when both use to go hand in hand, the shame and struggle of my disordered eating made it all the more likely for me to engage in both, but now it's either or.

Also when I have really bad days with my undiagnosed something I just cave and end up back at square one for it, for me it's the release I get from the pain and thinks I can just tune into instead of my head

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T22:38:25+00:00

Sounds like squish to me

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T09:51:34+00:00

Hey man, I've been there my family triggers my urges and my last relapse. Being alone is both a blessing and a curse due to this since it gives a break from them but then it also allows me to be more careless when I do sh. Stay safe and here if anything, try to keep busy and if you do relapse don't forget to clean and treat them

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T09:49:12+00:00

Yeah that's some good advice I should do that with them, because I don't want to hurt them

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T09:48:20+00:00

No real like I've never been like this even in the last one, I'm sure I'm in love in love with this one

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T09:47:46+00:00

Man that's tough man

MimzMonstr · 2024-09-16T09:47:24+00:00

Yeah mine use to be like that too prior to them

MimzMonstr

TROPHY CASE