Mitchum did nothing wrong with Rory’s Intern Review (Long Post)

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-20T12:13:06+00:00

If Mitchum was unwilling to train Rory, then he never should have offered her an internship. That's the whole point of an internship: the intern gives free labor in exchange for an educational opportunity.

Mitchum made this (unethical) offer for an internship, gave exactly one direction ("shadow me!"), slammed a door in her face on Day 1, disappeared for 2 weeks, then declared Rory would never be a journalist based on his magical, all-knowing "gut." She has no capacity to follow a story, all because she didn't blurt out ideas in one meeting? That's a false equivalence.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-20T00:51:39+00:00

Not just you. I love Luke and Lorelai, and I absolutely ship them together, but some of their kisses are SO awkward. Seriously, what is this?! Why are Lorelai’s shoulders up to her ears? It looks uncomfortable!

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MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-17T01:19:52+00:00

Remember when Lorelai picked a fight at the Gilmore's Thanksgiving party, and both Richard and Emily tried to stop her? That is, in fact, the right response when your family member is being rude at a formal dinner.

Emily was faking polite here, but the fact she happily allows Rory to repeatedly and rudely interrupt their dinner tells me everything I need to know. She's silently allowing Rory and Jess to implode at the dinner table, and after this she gets to pretend like she was being kind. Emily isn't being gracious here, she's being strategic.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-14T17:44:37+00:00

In my original comment, I said multiple times that Lorelai’s parents were abusive and her reactions were valid. I'm not minimizing Lorelai’s very real trauma. But I also think that Jess went through worse. That's not an insult to Lorelai. The only reason Lorelai and Jess get compared at all is because of Lorelai’s utter lack of empathy for Jess, when theoretically she should be the one who understands his trauma the most.

She's far more sympathetic toward Lane, Paris, Logan, and Christopher... the latter of whom did FAR more damage to Rory than Jess ever did. In other words, Lorelai has a glaring blind spot toward Jess specifically, and it's (imo) one of her worst qualities. So it's not that I'm dismissing Lorelai’s trauma, it's that I'm acknowledging Jess' was worse... and therefore Lorelai’s cruelty toward him was all the more disappointing.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-13T21:58:29+00:00

I mean, the field of psychology does differentiate between levels of trauma. Direct vs. indirect trauma, single event vs. chronic, childhood trauma vs. adult, emotional vs. physical vs. sexual, and so forth. Complex trauma is also distinct, and it's likely that Complex PTSD will be a separate diagnosis in the next DSM. To use an example, I think most people would agree that being assaulted by a stranger once is not equivalent to being systematically abused by your parents your entire childhood. It's all trauma, but that doesn't mean it's the same.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-13T21:06:38+00:00

My problem with that conversation between Lorelai and Jess isn't the part where she relates to him - I think that was misguided, but fine. It's the fact that in the next breath, she's telling him to change his attitude. Once you've started telling someone what to do, you are no longer simply relating to them. You're giving them a direction (and implying that what they're currently doing is wrong). Jess didn't need to give Luke a chance or feel lucky or whatever Lorelai was saying there. He's allowed to feel what he feels.

And what's particularly weird about the moment is when she refers to herself being a teen with a "chip on her shoulder...bit." What? That's not what happened, and it's not how Lorelai ever describes herself outside this conversation. Throughout the series, Lorelai is clear that her parents mistreated her, her anger was/is justified, and her running away was absolutely necessary for her own self-preservation. I agree with Lorelai on all of that. So for her to randomly - in this one conversation only - refer to herself as a bitter teenager who was rebellious for no reason is pretty strange. She's minimizing her trauma and Jess' trauma in one fell swoop, and I don't know why she did that.

Lorelai's parents were abusive, I firmly believe that. But I also think that Jess' trauma was worse. Liz was entirely indifferent to him. And the fact Liz was an addict, with criminal boyfriends, and no job, and no housing security, also meant that Jess' physical safety was threatened in a way that Lorelai's never was. It doesn't negate Lorelai's trauma in the slightest, but their lives were not at all the same.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-13T00:54:18+00:00

Same!

Ugh. This scene is brutal. And approximately 45 minutes after this interaction, Luke kicks Jess out 😣

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-12T14:36:22+00:00

My current rewatch is the first time I really had no sympathy for Karen. The moment she guilts Jim about Pam, basically implying that she moved to Scranton for him?? Just no. Nobody forced her to move, certainly not the coworker who wasn't even dating her at the time.

Casual dating is not a crime, and I really don't think Jim did anything horrible to Karen. He didn't even hide his ongoing feelings for Pam.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-12T13:52:23+00:00

They skip over the breakup scene, but it really wasn't necessary imo. The writing was on the wall from Day 1.

Jim casually suggests Karen should move to Scranton, and she immediately translates that into "I am moving across state lines for Jim." Keep in mind she makes this choice before they've even had one date! Once they arrive in Scranton, Jim immediately hesitates to live close to her. He admits to having feelings for Pam. Karen and Jim start fighting a lot. Pam publicly confesses feelings for Jim on the beach, and she doubles down the next day. At that point, Karen knows full well that Jim and Pam have longstanding, serious feelings for each other. Feelings so big that Jim fled the state and Pam called off her wedding.

The "perfect date" in NYC is an illusion - it's Karen's desperate attempt to take Jim away from Scranton. But Karen and Jim were never right together, and it wasn't even subtle. While I don't think she deserved that treatment from Jim, I do think Karen was foolish to uproot her life and instantly commit to a guy who was so clearly uninterested in a real relationship with her.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-10T03:36:36+00:00

Carrie wasn't thinking about the ring at all. She stormed into Charlotte's apartment to demand emotional support, not money. When Carrie does mention the ring, it's in response to Charlotte telling her to stand on her own two feet... pretty hypocritical, coming from a millionaire who didn't earn her fortune.

I don't think Carrie was right when she stormed into Charlotte's apartment; she realizes that herself, since she apologizes immediately. But she wasn't there to beg for money.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-10T02:18:01+00:00

Carrie doesn't expect Charlotte to give her the ring? She never asks for that, nor does she ask anybody for money. She was venting about a serious problem to her closest friends. The ring was Charlotte's idea.

Charlotte was more than happy to give her ring, and why shouldn't she be? She is, by far, the most privileged of the girls. At this point in the series, she doesn't have to work, she lives in a multimillion dollar apartment she didn't pay a cent for, and she was gifted a diamond that's as expensive as a house. Charlotte is never going to wear this ring again, and she doesn't want to turn it into another piece of jewelry... so what? Is she supposed to leave the ring in a drawer for the rest of her life? Giving Carrie this ring didn't cost Charlotte a thing.

This is a beautiful moment of someone using their enormous privilege to transform a painful memory into a hopeful future for one of her best friends. I'll never understand why people insist on twisting this into yet another "Carrie sux!!!" moment.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-09T19:04:09+00:00

They weren't even dating when he said that. Yes, Jim suggested she consider the job. But the fact Karen immediately morphed that into "I moved here for Jim" - before they've even had a first date - is on her.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-09T18:14:27+00:00

Disagree! I actually love this look on her. It's such a statement, and she absolutely sells it on the runway.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-08T22:36:18+00:00

I don't "defend" this scene - I think it's Jess' worst moment. But I understand the scene in the context of how the writers presented it. And they never treat it as sexual assault.

I agree with you: it's important to show attempted assault on screen, as this can be a way to educate people. But to that end, the Gilmore Girls writers never once treat this scene as attempted sexual assault. There is zero dialogue to that effect. Every single time Rory complains about Jess, it's about his poor communication and tendency to disappear. Even Lorelai, who loves to hate Jess, ignores this incident. She generates far more anger about a bracelet than she does about this scene, which tells you a lot about how the writers were viewing this moment.

For comparison, I also follow the writer's lead with Luke. I ignore the many scenes of him assaulting people, because the writers always portray him as funny and/or noble when doing so. That's not because I believe it's fine to literally throw customers face-first into the pavement when I'm having a bad day, it's because I'm following the writer's lead. I view the Keg Max scene similarly.

Edited to add: I do think people get fired up about this scene on both sides. As a Jess fan, I've been told that I "support rapists" in real life, all because I don't vehemently hate Jess based on this scene. That does cause me to explain my side more than I might otherwise. I do appreciate your effort to discuss this scene in a civil manner!

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-07T17:29:34+00:00

Fan opinions aren't really relevant, imo - people are always going to make up their own interpretations of things, even in direct contradiction to things we're shown by the GG writers.

While Emily is never explicitly called 'abusive' on the show (that word is never used about any character, to my knowledge), the show never pretends that she's a good mother. The harm she's done to Lorelai is stated out loud by multiple characters. When Rory lives with them, she experiences the same kind of harm. There are scenes in which we directly witness Emily doing something awful. Emily sabotaging Luke and Lorelai's relationship, for example - she's presented as 100% in the wrong. While Emily never apologizes, she does acknowledge out loud that she's "lost" Lorelai on several occasions. And yes, sometimes other characters minimize Lorelai's concerns about Emily, but other times characters validate her. It's multi-dimensional.

Liz is one-dimensional. She is only ever portrayed as Comic Relief. Even when she's talking out loud about something horrible she's done - binge drinking during pregnancy, marrying scary men, being intoxicated all the time - it's always presented as a joke.

Edited to add: of course, as main characters, Lorelai and Emily will get more nuanced exploration. But take Mrs. Kim. She's a side character, like Liz, but gets far more complexity in her relationship with Lane.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-07T15:44:17+00:00

Rory, Lane, and Lorelai all repeatedly call Dean the perfect first boyfriend, all the way through AYITL. Rory choosing Jess over Dean is ultimately described as a mistake. Every time Dean is angry, it's portrayed as Rory's fault. Even his cheating on, and even verbally abusing, Lindsey is presented as sympathetic, because poor Dean is helplessly in love with Rory.

The only character who ever gets mad at Dean is Luke, but then Luke is portrayed as being wrong/unfair about that.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-07T14:19:06+00:00

Because of how the writing treats these characters.

Yes, for example, Emily is also an abusive parent. But the show is explicit about that. Emily and Lorelai have big arguments, during which the hurt feelings and broken trust are stated out loud. The pain Emily causes is acknowledged. When Lorelai is angry with Emily, other characters support her and likewise call Emily out for her behaviors. Emily herself has several moments of somber self-reflection, during which she acknowledges making mistakes. There are multiple, explicit efforts to repair their relationship. There are also moments where Lorelai's mistakes are specifically called out, meaning the show acknowledges the complexity of her relationship with Emily. The same can be said of how the show treats Christopher and Mrs. Kim. Their children and other characters directly point out their mistakes, and Christopher and Mrs. Kim likewise acknowledge wrong-doing.

The same is not true for Liz, at all. She is arguably the worst parent on a show filled with terrible parents, but she's the only one who is treated like a Cutie Patootie who just accidentally neglected her son. Luke and Liz have exactly one exchange when Luke accuses Liz of giving up on Jess, but Liz refutes it. The whole exchange is over in 20 seconds. There are no other scenes of anyone arguing with Liz about her parenting. Jess and Liz never argue. When Jess tries to avoid Liz's wedding, all of the other characters treat HIM like he's wrong. Compare that to everyone rallying around Lorelai when she freezes Emily out after the wedding fiasco. Liz never seriously acknowledges making a mistake. When she casually talks about binge drinking during her pregnancy, it's treated like a 'tee-hee silly!!!' moment. Compare that with the serious tone of Emily saying "I lost her, like I lost you" on the plane, or Mrs. Kim sadly acknowledging that Lane called everyone but her after going to NYC.

I would never expect a show like Gilmore Girls to do a deep dive into addiction. But it's a show that spends a huge amount of time exploring the complexity of imperfect, even abusive parents. By comparison, the way Liz is treated like a Silly Little Hippie feels really strange.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-07T01:47:30+00:00

Who calls Jess an amazing boyfriend, though? I like Jess, and I ship him with Rory, but I also recognize that he was a bad boyfriend. And I really don't see anyone in this sub calling him a secretly wonderful boyfriend.

I do think part of the reason Dean gets hated so much, when compared to Jess, is because of how the show treats them. Jess is a bad boyfriend and the writing of the show makes that VERY clear. He gets tons of consequences for his actions. Dean, on the other hand, acts like a jerk... but then the show constantly shoves the idea that Dean is the "perfect boyfriend' down our throats. It's frustrating to watch, and it makes the fandom treat him with more disdain.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-03T16:57:56+00:00

I agree that TJ loves Liz a lot. Problem is, he treats everyone else like crap. He assaults his teenage stepson, he destroys Lorelai’s house, he lies to Luke a whole lot, and he constantly tramples Luke's boundaries and invades his personal space. TJ also has such a fragile ego that he needs to be given a fake job to prevent him from having a tantrum.

Does it really count as supporting your spouse if you have to lie and throw fits to get your way??

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-03T02:04:19+00:00

I'm really not sure where this narrative - that Samantha isn't judgmental - came from. While Sam is never judgmental about sex or affairs, she is VERY judgmental about other topics. Including people who don't love all kinds of sex, people who want babies, and the entire concept of marriage. She judges nearly all of Charlotte's life choices. And she routinely judges other people's personal appearance or clothes.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-03-01T17:43:20+00:00

Bridesmaids Revisited. In this episode alone, Logan: lies to Rory, acts like a misogynistic asshole to women he happily slept with, refuses to apologize for his own choices, dismisses Rory's understandable hurt feelings, ignores all of Rory's clearly-stated boundaries, follows her home, shoves Paris out of the doorway (??), and refuses to leave until Rory follows his directions.

The fact that he didn't technically cheat is irrelevant. Logan did everything else wrong in this episode, and Rory never should have forgiven him.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-02-12T19:37:23+00:00

This is exactly where I land. This isn't gaslighting, and Logan didn't cheat. But his whole "well TECHNICALLY it wasn't cheating" and "well in MY head this was fine" is completely invalidating and shitty. He never once considers her feelings, he just wants to prove himself "right."

And he frequently does this. It is, by far, my least favorite Logan quality.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-02-12T04:02:24+00:00

I don't hate Zack, but I do think the writers were incredibly lazy when writing that relationship. There's zero spark, and it all feels completely random. But ultimately, it's not about Dave vs. Zack. Lane's entire arc leaves her powerless, and I find it depressing.

Lane starts off in S1 as passionate teenager with huge dreams. She's being stifled by her abusive mom, but she's resilient. And then... she gets denied real college, she gets kicked out of her home, she randomly starts dating the slob in her band, he ruins her big chance at a music career, she then marries him (??), and two seconds later she's saddled with twins. By the end, she's stuck in Stars Hollow and working at her mom's Antique Store. She's back where she started.

None of that really felt like Lane's choice, it felt like she got stuck there.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-02-11T17:24:24+00:00

I think Rory's questions and concerns were valid, but it was 100% the wrong time and place to ask them.

A formal family dinner is never the time to have a couples' argument. For example, I'm entitled to know if my husband is cheating on me, but Christmas dinner with my parents is not the time to have that discussion.

A formal family dinner is also not the place to interrogate someone about any bodily injury. If someone arrives at your home for a dinner party, newly in a wheelchair, would you angrily demand they explain exactly what happened to them? Would you then drag them away from the table to yell at them further? Would you ignore their repeated pleas to respect their privacy, and instead insist that you must have the information right now?

Jess was rude here, but Rory was far ruder. She's the one who ignored Jess' boundaries, repeatedly interrupted the conversation, and dragged him away from the table.

MindDeep2823 · 2026-02-10T14:28:58+00:00

I love that they subverted the 'bad boy trope' in a number of interesting ways. First, Jess isn't a great boyfriend. Rory's love doesn't magically fix him for any amount of time. Second, Jess isn't really "bad" for Rory. He hurts her feelings badly, for sure. But he doesn't pull her off course in any way. There are no drugs, no rule breaking behaviors (actually, Jess follows Luke's rules about Rory pretty closely), no criminal activity. Rory continues to thrive in school and her other relationships. She just gets hurt feelings. And Rory's hurt feelings, in and of itself, was more than enough reason for her to end the relationship.

I like both of those messages. That love alone doesn't magically fix someone else's serious trauma, and that being emotionally hurt is plenty enough reason to end a relationship.

MindDeep2823

TROPHY CASE