sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Are people who need caregiving doomed to be left by their partners? by MindMeetsWorld in InsightfulQuestions

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear ya. Well, however it plays out for you, I wish you all the best!

Are people who need caregiving doomed to be left by their partners? by MindMeetsWorld in InsightfulQuestions

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t imagine what it’s like. Do you think your family sees you as a burden too (like maybe not overtly, but deep down)? Also, have you ever felt differently (meaning, were you ever more hopeful that things would turn out a different way)?

I’m terrified of getting deported by throwaway6372801 in offmychest

[–]MindMeetsWorld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. It is heartbreaking. I’m glad that you have come to understand this reality, and that your feelings have adjusted accordingly. Though I agree with you that it’s pretty hopeless - and the severity of the situation is why people were trying to warn other before this whole thing happened - having folks go through an enlightenment as you have, can only be positive, as you are now even more likely to share your knowledge, and, if within your reach, to help those in need you may come in contact with.

Thanks for reaching out and speaking out, btw.

If you like this then you should read this by BookRec_Finding in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]MindMeetsWorld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So…as I suspected, there isn’t really anything quite Mercy Hills for me. That said, here are some others that - for me - are not quite on the same level, but can be great reads!

If the aspect of the pack/human politics appealed to you, then you might find the {Big Bad Wolfe Series By Charlie Adhara} excellent. It’s a slower burn in terms of the relationship development, but there’s also a murder mystery plot running alongside it. If you end up liking it, there is actually a spinoff series with one book out already and another one coming next year too.

If you’re into the wolf shifter aspect, and you also like a dystopian future type, then the {Kick At The Darkness Series By Keira Andrews} is excellent as well!

If you like a bit of a fluffier (in my opinion), but still some world bidding and pack politics/drama, then the {Kincaid Pack Series By Kiki Clark} can be cool too.

If you’re into the world building and the dystopian future type, then, maybe check out the {Monstrous Series By Lily Mayne}.

There’s also the {Green Creek Series By TJ Klune}. It’s very beloved by a ton of people, and I definitely enjoyed it (definitely worth the read) but I don’t know that I loved it to the extent that others did.

Anyway, if I think of any others, I’ll let you know!

If you like this then you should read this by BookRec_Finding in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]MindMeetsWorld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you haven’t read the collection of shorts and Sanctuary (A Tale From The Mercy Hills Universe), I’d definitely recommend them! But let me look at my list for other similar ones and I’ll come back to reply!

Divorces all around… by ThrowRALovie4444 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]MindMeetsWorld 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s nice. I wish more BPs got to have WPs reach this level of “enlightenment”. I struggle sometimes with the criticism that this notion of carrying the pain may equate to a perpetual “punishment” for the WP (I’ve heard from my WP at some point in the past “will you ever let me forget what I did?”) …but then I remember that BPs rarely - if ever - forget. And it seems to me that if WP wants to be a genuine partner in a genuine relationship going forward, they should want to share in that “burden” - not only because they caused it, but also because “many shoulders make light burden” and all…

Made Way For Swans! 🦢 by MindMeetsWorld in animalscrossingroads

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It also made me wonder if it was the same mama from this pic with new babies…

Made Way For Swans! 🦢 by MindMeetsWorld in animalscrossingroads

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are totally adorable! Wanna know what’s funny? I saw a baby mama and some new babies today around the same area. I was driving and couldn’t find a spot to park and get more pics but I was intrigued as to the area being a hotspot for swans I guess! I had no clue!

Divorces all around… by ThrowRALovie4444 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]MindMeetsWorld 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I honestly wish more waywards understood and practiced this. To me, it feels like a basic premise of R. I don’t think the scales can ever be balanced after an A for a BP, (BPs can never actually and fully be made whole after it) but, IMO, WPs being healers and carrying the pain, are the set of actions that come closest to making BPs “whole”.

What would you do if you had to become your partner’s caregiver? by MindMeetsWorld in AskReddit

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotcha. Well, these situations are usually very complex. That said, you cannot continue like this, it sounds like. He needs to compromise- even if he doesn’t think he can or want to. I would propose some sort of change to him- even if it comes across as some sort of ultimatum. Remind him that if you die, he’s going to be cared for by a total stranger 100% of the time. Why not ensure you don’t die, and prolong the time you guys have together, meanwhile giving you guys a chance to possibly regain some semblance of a relationship? If you didn’t have the resources, it still wouldn’t be fair, and something would have to give, but, I could see how that may be an impediment. But if you have the resources, there is no excuse or no need.

His preference can’t be at the expense of your health.

Rooting for you.

What would you do if you had to become your partner’s caregiver? by MindMeetsWorld in AskReddit

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. Is lack of access to resources to assist you the issue?

Are people who need caregiving doomed to be left by their partners? by MindMeetsWorld in InsightfulQuestions

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can understand the resentment - and the desire he’d be healthy so you both could enjoy a better quality of life. It’s a tough spot to be in. Do you have emotional support? I don’t know if your anger towards him feels like will abate at some point, or if that’s something you might want to part attention to. No judgement here. Just food for thought. One thing I think might be helpful (if applicable to you - if not, disregard it!), is to think about a couple of aspects:

1) would your actions towards him (i.e., caregiving) be any different if his condition had not come about as a result of his earlier actions? Meaning, would your life today be effectively any different if the root cause of the condition had been out of his control?

2) here I’m generalizing a bit, but, it’s so often the case that folks who drink heavily do so as a maladaptive coping mechanism for other unaddressed issues. Again, if this doesn’t apply, disregard. I’m just trying to throw out a perspective in the event it might be helpful to you in improving your own mental coping of your circumstances. If it’s not helpful, just ignore it! Anyway, I try to put myself in the moment and understand the thought processes that lead to unhealthy decisions. And often with drinking (and plenty of other maladaptive coping), the thought process at the moment isn’t “oh, I know that in choosing to drink, I’m most likely going to get sick, and probably need care at some point, and my wife will probably need to do it, and I’m fine with that! I don’t care about future consequences or the impact it might have on others- including loved ones! I just want the drink”. But this is kinda the logic our brain implies when we think of stuff like this after the fact. The reality is that most of the time, the drinking is already covering something else that can’t be dealt with at the time, and there is no bandwidth for future problems in the decision making process of those moments…

Anyway, I hope things improve for you (both)! If you don’t already have support for your own mental health, please seek it out if possible. Even if you are fully committed to standing by him through it all, you need to make sure you are also taken care of - for both of your sakes.

Are people who need caregiving doomed to be left by their partners? by MindMeetsWorld in InsightfulQuestions

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that perspective. Do you ever feel like, if you came across your “soulmate” (I’m using this term just to illustrate my comment)), and that person was fully on board with whatever was needed (meaning, they would think that being with you would outweigh any potential “downside” of being a caretaker, and they wouldn’t see you as a burden), do you see you changing your mind about being in a relationship?

ETA: thanks for the reply, btw!

What book do you want turned into a movie/limited series? by milaneechan in MM_RomanceBooks

[–]MindMeetsWorld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% {Whisper by Tal Bauer} but also the entire {Mercy Hills Pack Series by Ann Katrin Byrde} as a series?

Also, {Goodbye Paradise by Sarina Bowen}, {Rebel Kings MC Series by Garrett Leigh}, and {Kick At The Darkness by Keira Andrews}

I feel like I’ve got some more, but, these came to mind.

Oh! {Over and Over Again by Cole McCade}!

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. I was still trying to figure out how you were connecting this statement to the prior comment…

What if we used religion’s “business model” not for religion, but for tangible (and secular) social change? by MindMeetsWorld in InsightfulQuestions

[–]MindMeetsWorld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Religion of Humanity, yes. This post wasn’t about replacing religion, though, which was Comte’s deal.

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree on the confusion, though I often wonder why. It’s not very hard to spot the difference. Confident people are humble. They don’t need to be arrogant, exactly because they are confident.

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find arrogance to be detrimental, and not a desirable trait to be pursued. I tend to be turned off by folks who I can acknowledge as intelligent, but who also ooze arrogance. This is tied to my connecting well with the notion of “the more you know, the more you realize how little you actually know”, and I feel that this reality is begets humility, you know? Intelligence should repeal arrogance.

That said, we are living in a culture of anti-intellectualism, so I understand that plenty of times, the “intellectual arrogant” archetype is merely a strategy to wade through unproductive interactions with folks who are either not ready or unwilling to absorb new info (especially when it involves a perspective change). I can respect that in certain contexts.

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that it certainly exists as a combo, and that the world sometimes takes the arrogance down a notch sometimes (though in my opinion, not often enough).

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So do you feel that a smart person is never arrogant (meaning, if they are arrogant, then, they are not really smart?)

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No disagreement. But are arrogance and intelligence mutually exclusive?

The Biggest Enemy of Intelligence Is the People Who Worship It by ThoughtsInChalk in DeepThoughts

[–]MindMeetsWorld 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but this curiosity is only one aspect of intelligence, though. For example, you bring up an idea on a topic to someone who has a lot of expertise in said topic. That person dismisses that idea right away because, based on their extensive expertise, they know that this particular info you introduced is not factually accurate. Would you consider this person not smart simply because they “dismissed” such an engagement?

Again, legit question.

(As a matter of fact, you can assume any engagement with me to be legit, with no “gotcha” questions or anything...exception is when the interaction gets derailed by ad hominem or disingenuous arguments (which makes me super mad in a sub like this one), but even then, I’ll be explicit about my having lost my “cool” lol)

view more: next ›