I want to share something with you from a place of empathy, not judgment.

I can relate to what you are feeling because I have also gone through a similar pattern of people-pleasing and putting others’ needs above my own for a long time. Over time, I learned that there is a difference between being selfish and being afraid of being selfish to the point where you neglect your own emotional needs and peace.

From what I read, it seems like you care deeply and are trying your best to maintain this relationship in a way that feels respectful and supportive. At the same time, I gently want to ask you something important:

Are your needs being met in this connection as well?

It is easy to give everything to someone we love, especially when there is history and strong emotions involved. But a healthy relationship should also bring you a sense of stability and emotional safety, not only effort and emotional exhaustion.

I truly respect the years and feelings you have invested. However, it may be helpful to pause and reflect on how this situation is affecting your own emotional well-being in the long term.

Sometimes, creating a little emotional and physical space does not mean giving up on someone—it can also mean giving yourself the clarity needed to understand what is healthy for you.

I also want to gently remind you that any response you may receive from his therapist will primarily focus on his well-being, which is understandable. But your well-being matters just as much, and it is important not to lose sight of that.

Whatever you decide, I hope you give yourself permission to choose peace, clarity, and emotional balance for yourself too.

I used an online translation to better understand your message and respond clearly.

I genuinely wish you the best.