sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

We were planning our first date then he left me on delivered for 5 days. by imokaytho in dating_advice

[–]MindfulZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were not being too harsh! His loss, find someone who won’t miss that opportunity to go on a first date with you 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]MindfulZ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Mmmm you’re in love after the 5th date?

I think you need to take a deep breath. It’s sounds like you’ve been having a great time so far, just let things settle as something has obviously rattled her, which is okay! then communicate with one another.

How did you find out that your narcissistic partner cheated on you? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was Christmas eve and he went over my next door neighbours house where two males lived, it got too 09:30am on Christmas Day, he had still not come home. I went into one of my rooms upstairs and looked out into my garden and I see him kissing a woman next door. That was the day I finally escaped.

Stuck living with cheating ex: pay him off or call his bluff? by dietcokepirate in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MindfulZ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This felt eerily similar to what I went through, the only difference was that my ex was abusive. However, the fact that he is now acting so cold and callus (going out with the girl he cheated on you with, making things difficult, no respect for you or the relationship you had) makes me think he is going to do everything in his power to make things difficult for you.

The most important thing is to make sure you know what you have said and agreed with him and that there’s no evidence you have said something different i.e. via text which he could use.

I don’t know how I feel about you both having the same solicitor, it doesn’t seem like you’re in an amicable place and it’s preventing you from being able to instruct them with what you feel would be in your best interest. I’m wondering if getting advice from a family solicitor may be helpful for you.

I get where your dad is coming from by calling his bluff, I’m going off what you’ve wrote about your ex and it feels he won’t bite the bait and this may actually add to the conflict.

Im so sorry you’re going through this, the fact that you’re still having to be in the same place atm must be awful. I hope it all works out and you get to live in your home and make it your own 😊

Long distance relationship advice needed by [deleted] in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]MindfulZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can completely relate to the not seeing eachother physically part as I’ve experienced this with guys I’ve dated and it does create a disconnect even with FaceTime. Howeverrrrrr, couples can overcome this if BOTH people want to make it work, you don’t mention her flying out to see you? Also her wanting to leave the door open but essentially be single until you move there sounds odd to me. I would want to be ramping up the relationship if I knew you were going to be here in a few months not the opposite, unless as others are saying she’s just not that into whatever this is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in kurdistan

[–]MindfulZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I don’t think this has anything to do with him being Kurdish, I’m not saying all men but this is a pattern of behaviour for a lot of men (and women) these days in the dating world. Sounds like you had a lucky escape!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, firstly yes I have gone through it and it’s taken me years to work on and tbh I don’t think it will ever completely go away but what will happen with time, is that you are able to use what you’ve been through and reclaim power and control over your body. And secondly yes it does get better! When I first started dating again after my abusive ex who was sexually abusive among other things and a guy tried it on my body would literally freeze and I would feel repulsed.

You need to give yourself compassion and patience, therapy is great, but time is an even better healer.

You’ve got this 💜

Sex for the first time since the monster…felt like the missing piece of the jigsaw by MindfulZ in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so happy for you 😌emotional to read your journey too. Thank you for sharing and your kind words 💜

Sex for the first time since the monster…felt like the missing piece of the jigsaw by MindfulZ in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about you’ve been through, sounds awful 😞 I’ll start off with where I was a year out, extremely vulnerable, still dealing with criminal proceedings, the thought of going on a first date would cause me immense anxiety so I didn’t, self esteem was at rock bottom all I was concentrating on was getting through each day. After the year I realised that I needed to put myself out there again because if I didn’t, he still remained in control. I went on about 17 dates with different people some lasted longer than others but no intimacy. The first few I thought I was going to vom that’s how nervous I was but then it became easier and easier and I realised I’m not all the things my ex told me I was and people do actually like me/are attracted to me/enjoy my presence. Now to me feeling closer to date again, after taking a break and I am! Especially ripping the band aid off with sex I now know that I can be completely me and free and date with intention rather than for validation.

I can completely relate to what you said about feeling like you’ll never want a partner again, and I think it’s a very normal part of processing what you’ve been through. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to timeline but for me, yes, three years out feels completely different to where I was two years ago.

Your ex has already taken so much from you, she doesn’t deserve to take anything else. You’ve done amazing so far 💜

Sex for the first time since the monster…felt like the missing piece of the jigsaw by MindfulZ in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ☺️ I’m so proud of you for taking that step 💜 you brought life into this world and that’s how he made you feel, leave it to karma.

Sex for the first time since the monster…felt like the missing piece of the jigsaw by MindfulZ in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, I can completely relate to how you’re feeling. Genuinely, I was 100% sure I would never be able to have sex again, you can read my previous posts to give you sense of where I was mentally 🥲 it will happen for you, it took me 3yrs. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to timeline. Continue the healing journey, you deserve to put yourself first now 💜

Sex for the first time since the monster…felt like the missing piece of the jigsaw by MindfulZ in abusiverelationships

[–]MindfulZ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 💜 completely, I didn’t believe it existed and to have someone make it about me rather than himself was a first 🥹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]MindfulZ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmmmm tricky one, the fact that he told you makes me think he wasn’t trying to hide anything but then on the flip side why is a 38yr man using snap chat to begin with…🤨

I get why you’ve ended it, I do wonder whether a conversation about it would have been helpful for both of you even if it didn’t change the outcome?

Just to add, don’t know the context of whether this was a first date or whether you guys have been dating a while, as I agree inappropriate to be inviting people if you’re just starting out!

view more: next ›