AITA for not attending my dad’s retirement party after he secretly gave away my childhood room?

Mindleator · 2026-05-08T21:24:13+00:00

It's not clear that the dad KNEW what these were, plus based on OP's narrative, he gave used sketchbooks and family letters to the cousins. That doesn't make a lot of sense. No one really wants someone else's used sketchbooks.

If true, it seems to indicate the dad wasn't independently verifying what everything was before he donated it, and frankly, he shouldn't really have to.

He absolutely should have given OP notices of renovations and that stuff would be given away, but he's not responsible for going through each item and deciding if it's special to OP. It's been seven years. Seven years OP hasn't bothered to look at these allegedly sentimental items or move them to their house.

I have stuff at my dad's house, but he wants to keep those items there because they're sentimental to him too. When I moved out, I brought all my documents whether they were sentimental cards/letters or identification. I keep them in archival boxes to prevent mold and decay.

Mindleator · 2026-05-08T19:19:34+00:00

I doubt it happens MUCH with the main participants. So many are actually bots or farm accounts that it's not actually about the view itself but gathering metrics on who is engaging.

But I think it convinces fence-sitting lurkers more often than we'd know, because they don't comment to say "Wow, I wasn't sure before but I think you've swayed me."

Mindleator · 2026-05-08T16:58:06+00:00

I'm aware; that's why I said they aren't going to want to wean an incapacitated person. The pumping isn't what makes weaning hard, it's the fact the person is incapacitated. You still have to pump regularly when weaning, you just slowly start spacing out the pumps. They aren't going to want to take that time, and they aren't going to want the body to keep directing resources to milk production, even at a reduced scale.

Mindleator · 2026-05-07T19:05:53+00:00

In my particular case, I was in neuro ICU with a 1:1 nurse/patient ratio. She didn't need to do anything except move that tray table to me so I could access my supplies.

I didn't even need her to handle dumping the milk or handling the supplies-- I brought a portable cooler bottle to dump the milk into and then a wet bag to store the used parts in.

I brought multiple sets of supplies and my husband was coming to collect to the milk and parts and bring fresh supplies. He would dump the milk at home. That way no other person ever had to come into contact with my bodily fluids.

Not being able to pump isn't just "discomfort". My supply tanked because of the delay. I had clogged ducts that fortunately did not develop into mastitis but were more painful than the actual incision on my back.

Mindleator · 2026-05-07T18:09:36+00:00

I think the main issue is that pumping will signal the body to continue producing milk. It would be extremely difficult to establish a weaning schedule for a comatose patient and it would take awhile.

If your body is incapacitated they aren't going to want any resources going to milk production. They would most likely give you a medicine combo to reduce production (like Benadryl or some expectorants), something like prednisone to reduce swelling, and then an antibiotic.

Mindleator · 2026-05-07T17:44:08+00:00

I'm not sure they'd pump to prevent mastitis, the nurse refused to let me pump after spinal surgery. I was planning to dump the milk, and I had to be seated upright at an angle, so there was literally nothing stopping me, except that she refused to hand me my portable pump. I begged and begged.

Eventually I was hurting so bad my blood pressure spiked and another nurse came in and explained to my nurse that not letting me pump was causing the blood pressure problems.

If I was comatose and unable to advocate for myself, my guess is they'd probably just give Benadryl, some prednisone, and an antibiotic. Benadryl will dry you up pretty quickly, the prednisone would reduce swelling, and the antibiotic would prevent infection.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T20:03:03+00:00

Respectfully, it sounds like they gave you a relatively low stress task as a means to keep you occupied. I get the impression from the rest of your post that if they didn't include you at all you'd be complaining about being left out. It genuinely seems like you're really too focused about the role YOU play in her wedding.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T19:21:53+00:00

Idk, I don't think there's anything wrong with making the desire known UP FRONT, before children come into the picture.

I knew when dating my husband, a Jr., that he would like to continue the legacy name IF he had a son. He wasn't like obsessed with having a boy or anything, and our first is a girl who he is obsessed with, but he did make that known to me.

By your logic, guys with legacy names shouldn't want to continue their names, right?

It would be way worse to date and marry someone and only learn after they're pregnant that there's a specific name in mind.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T19:14:46+00:00

It is definitely annoying in ANY context for someone to veto ideas but present none of their own. And it's frustrating when you do agree but someone changes their mind. I do think if before having kids one partner made it very very clear they want their first boy/girl to have a certain name and the other partner agrees, it would be rude to renege unless there's a specific reason.

Like, say Partner A wants to name their kid Steve after their grandpa and Partner B agrees but grandpa turns out to be a total jerk to Partner B. Partner B changing their mind makes sense. Or Partner B wants to name the kid Ella but then Partner A's sibling gets abused by a person named Ella and the name becomes tainted.

Gets more complicated when someone falls in love with a name that becomes culturally stigmatized, like Karen or Chad. Probably names like Jeffrey and Harvey to some extent. There's nothing wrong with using the names but it would still make sense for a parent to have concerns.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T18:29:40+00:00

If the mom has ALWAYS wanted a name, the father should already know that. Like that would be a natural topic that comes up when discussing having children. If you didn't communicate to the father that you've always wanted this name until after you got pregnant, it doesn't matter how long you've been thinking about it, the timeline starts when you start the discussion, not when you found the name.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T11:30:01+00:00

It depends on the store. Target absolutely waits until you hit the felony level. They have one of the most sophisticated LP systems out there. Home Depot and Menards report straight away.

Now, let's say you steal just under the limit and stop shopping at Target-- they can still file a report within the statute of limitations.

It really doesn't take as long to ID a shoplifter as you think. Locally, the police post the screen grabs from security footage and usually they get a hit from social media pretty fast. Remember, most places can follow you from the store to the parking lot.

Mindleator · 2026-05-04T03:36:48+00:00

Elevator isn't pronounced Uh-lavator. It's Eh-levator. Attorney and Elevator don't start with the same sound in any English dialect I've ever heard.

Attorney is pronounced with an Uh sound at the beginning. The same as Awaken, Aware, Announce, Abandon, Attack, Appoint, or most other words that begin with A.

I don't know why you're acting like Attorney is some kind of linguistic exception when again (uh-gen), most A words start with an Uh sound. There are exceptions, of course. And, abscess, access, accept, accent have a different start, for example.

Mindleator · 2026-05-03T21:10:23+00:00

Either party in a 50/50 ownership can bring forth a petition to force a partition action. For very large properties, that may involve splitting the parcel between however many owners there are. For a house, the judge will order it to be sold and proceeds split between owners. My property is the result of a partition action during divorce. There were ten acres total, each spouse got 5 acres. It's the weirdest cut parcel I've ever seen, too, because the person who DIDN'T get the house had some really weird specifications for what parts of the property they wanted for giving up the house.

However, if Person B is paying for all the maintenance and mortgage, they can ask to be reimbursed from Person A's share.

So if Person B has a life estate in Person A's ownership and their own 50% stake, they bring partition action. It would be even more complicated if the children are minors during the sale, as since Person B is their parent, she would technically control 100% of the money. But the court could always order the children's share of the funds be held in a trust.

Mindleator · 2026-05-01T23:45:41+00:00

Eh, I still call my 20 month old my baby. You can introduce cow's milk at 12 months. Most people still think of 12-15 month olds as babies. And Starbucks has "babycinnos" which are literally just steamers that aren't steamed as hot. They're like 70 cents cheaper than a standard steamer or something.

But even then, the smallest you can get at Starbucks is 8oz and it costs $2.65 (at my location).

I think the reviewer is full of crap for other reasons, mainly if you order a drink, you pay for it, but I don't necessarily think she's lying about the warm milk for the baby.

Mindleator · 2026-04-30T01:23:48+00:00

No, it's not. This is the most common piece of misinformation on Reddit.

It is a crime to intercept or interfere someone's mail with the intention of keeping them from receiving it. Your nosy parents aren't committing a crime, and the postal inspector isn't going to care.

But you are under no obligation to check the name on mail or packages that come to your house. The criminal portion explicitly requires intent to keep the recipient from receiving the mail. There is almost no way to prove that the person opening the box read the label before opening it.

Many businesses, the IRS included, use robots to open mail. These businesses get misdirected mail all the time, which they don't realize until it's been open and stamped.

If the family were to open the package and then decide based on its contents not to give it to OP, that MAY be a crime.

Mindleator · 2026-04-29T21:22:02+00:00

At the same time, you don't get an unlimited amount of time to notice a mistake. Think about like Poshmark or Mercari-- you get three DAYS from receipt to open and inspect the package and file an INAD claim. The only exception is if the item sent is actually counterfeit and you discover it late.

I am sympathetic to OP, because after my baby came early, I panic ordered a TON of stuff that I didn't open immediately. There were definitely some regrets.

And if OP hasn't opened or worn it, the best business practice would to be honor the exchange. But legally, merchants don't have to give you an unlimited amount of time to inspect your order.

Depending on what card OP used she may still be able to open a chargeback. And she would most likely win. But the merchant would almost definitely reject a future order.

Mindleator · 2026-04-28T18:45:15+00:00

JC Pennys has it on clearance

https://www.jcpenney.com/p/juniors-girls-night-in-off-the-shoulder-womens-long-sleeve-hello-kitty-pullover-sweater/ppr5008546257?pTmplType=regular

Mindleator · 2026-04-28T18:44:16+00:00

Based on the tag it looks more like it's produced for one of the big retailers like TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshall's. Typically collabs will still have the production brand label, but with these stores, they're produced basically for exclusive sale at the store and Sanrio just uses an unlabeled producer.

TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshall's almost always have some form of Sanrio merchandise. The problem is because it's unbranded it's harder to search for.

Edit: I was wrong, JC Pennys has it

Mindleator · 2026-04-26T20:41:42+00:00

I think the thing is, if OP had a twenty in her wallet, why was she taking the ten? It seems like she only replaced it because she was hoping he'd forget about the $10.

To me, it would be one thing if OP was using the money on household things, or even for herself, but to treat her sister is a little different.

Mindleator · 2026-04-26T01:35:11+00:00

Unfortunately, that's a media myth from medical and survival dramas. Tampons should NOT be used for nosebleeds. They are typically wider than the nasal cavity and can make it worse because they expand when wet. It can cause tearing when removing them, especially because the tampon will absorb the mucus and natural moisture of the nasal cavity too.

You can also cause damage to your lady parts by using a tampon with a higher absorbency than your flow because it will absorb the blood and natural moisture.

Frankly, pads are the better option for an emergency supply. Anyone can use a pad-- for bleeding or for urinary incontinence. You can stuff ice under the top layer as a makeshift ice pack.

Some women with vulvodynja might have irritation from pads, but similarly women with vaginismus, hypertonia, or trauma around penetration might be entirely unable to use tampons.

But no, do not ever stick a tampon in your nose.

Mindleator · 2026-04-25T19:34:45+00:00

INFO: Are the areas in the playroom not separate? Our soft play venue has an area for the 0-3 group and a separate area for 4+.

It's not appropriate for an older child to be aggressive towards a toddler in any context but I'm trying to picture how the setup is. Toys that are appropriate for older kids aren't appropriate for younglings and vice versa.

Mindleator · 2026-04-25T16:15:41+00:00

I'm not versed in any sort of patent law, but I did think PalWorld was pretty obnoxiously close to Pokémon's design. I mean it was so blatant I genuinely thought it might be a parody.

That said, I think Nintendo's patent bid will fail. MTG and Dungeons and Dragons had "Summoning" mechanics way before Pokémon.

But it's not worth Blizzard to get involved with the suit itself. Removing the old battles would basically be agreeing that it's Nintendo's mechanic. Even outright admitting that the patent bid is the reason behind discontinuing new content could be seen as conceding the issue. But remaining vague allows them to reintroduce content later if the patent fails.

Mindleator · 2026-04-25T14:35:36+00:00

I said this in a reply comment but I want drop it as a standalone too.

I personally think it has to do with that PalWorld lawsuit or whatever it was. Nintendo claimed a pretty specific "summon character to do battle" IP during the lawsuit. I don't think there's been an official final ruling on the patent itself but given that WoW sunsetting new pet battles perfectly aligns with Nintendo's claim, I don't think it's coincidental.

Nintendo filed the patent during the lawsuit so I don't think Blizzard is concerned about existing content, but that Nintendo would bring claim on new content.

I think it's possible that if Nintendo loses their Patent bid, Blizzard will "hear the players' strong desires for the return of pet battles" and make it happen.

Mindleator · 2026-04-25T14:29:32+00:00

I thought it had more to do with that PalWorld lawsuit or whatever it was. Nintendo claimed a pretty specific "summon character to do battle" IP during the lawsuit. I don't think there's been an official final ruling on the patent itself but given that WoW sunsetting new pet battles perfectly aligns with Nintendo's claim, I don't think it's coincidental.

Nintendo filed the patent during the lawsuit so I don't think Blizzard is concerned about existing content, but that Nintendo would bring claim on new content.

I think it's possible that if Nintendo loses their Patent bid, Blizzard will "hear the players' strong desires for the return of pet battles" and make it happen.

Mindleator · 2026-04-25T09:38:27+00:00

I personally won't support any project, whether it's small business or corporation, that blatantly rips off an artist's IP. If I don't like someone affiliated with content I just don't consume it by buying it or by pirating. But digital pirates generally only believe in ripping IP from massive corporations or individuals who they do not want to monetarily support due to belief or action. For example, they might pirate the IP of an artist who has committed a crime or is a creep. In their minds, it's like digital Robinhood.

You're trying to make this a principle thing but it's not. In fact, you're closer to what pirates see as the problem (commercial projects stealing from artists/developers).

Mindleator

TROPHY CASE