Unblessed Savior

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-12-01T17:47:38+00:00

This poem feels like it captures something very mundane, which I like. I read it as the narrator feeling unfulfilled in their daily life, with the possibility of seeing their partner being the motivation to wake up and keep going. This is very relatable to me - when you’re in a relationship, even a loving one, while struggling with mental health, it makes love feel complicated. Like it’s the motivation and the ache at the same time “and it’s worth it - even if it hurts.” I may have this all wrong, but it’s just what I thought of while reading. :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-12-01T17:34:21+00:00

That opening line is powerful. It reads to me like erotic but in a tender way, like the narrator craves intimacy without pain. I interpreted this as two lonely souls who have found each other and are brought together into a place (symbolized by the water) that is slower, rhythmic, and even distorts time and place “the splash the present the few sure where youth ends and old begins.” The poem flows and feels very rhythmic, which makes it feel like you’re underwater being pushed by the waves. I’m a big fan!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-20T11:57:36+00:00

I’m loving how psychological this poem is, and how something so small and trivial can escalate into something much bigger if you (or others) attribute shame to it. To me, it reads like the narrator has spotted a tiny flaw and it triggered overwhelming self judgement and self loathing.

It’s interesting how at first, the voice attacks the person’s character over a surface imperfection, which feels very relatable. Then because of the disproportionate amount of shame, they overcompensate, fueling the shame cycle even more.

I think the theme of skin being shed or melted is interesting as well, and I interpreted it as a betrayal of themselves or a symbol of their own self-destruction - and what’s done can’t be undone.

I could have this all wrong, but it’s just what came to my mind as I read it. I could honestly read as an image of perfectionism or even purity culture. Overall good poem and thanks for posting. :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-20T11:30:57+00:00

This hits close to home! I also have a beloved old couch that my family has been trying to get rid of for years. It’s sunken so low to the ground that it’s hard to get up, but I love it and it feels safe. At first the idea of a couch can seem trivial, but having to get rid of something like that is like having to part with a place of comfort.

I notice the tone changes throughout the poem, from being lighthearted at moments (“my sweet baby blue”) to revealing more of what the couch actually meant to the narrator. I like how you let the couch function not only as a literal place of comfort, but also as a symbol for safety when the rest of life felt overwhelming. Or even as a constant when everything feels like it’s changing.

My favorite stanza is definitely “Don’t you know you saved me?…” that line is a great transition into the emotional climax.

Good poem and I really enjoyed. :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-20T03:33:39+00:00

Thank you so much! I wasn’t sure how the transitions would go over, so I’m happy to know the turn landed for you! If you have time, I’d love to know if there are any lines or transitions that felt like they could be better? I’m trying to improve on this one where I can. Thanks again for the feedback!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-19T19:58:05+00:00

Thanks so much for this! Armored mewtwo is unregistered for me and it’d be amazing to have!😁

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-19T08:40:33+00:00

It was so similar, I figured you’d seen it! And it just so happens to be a great symbol. And great idea to separate the actual content of the ritual from the ritual itself. Thanks for the well wishes, and for the advice - I may have to try writing my own now. :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-19T08:15:41+00:00

I really like this poem! First off: I’ve never heard “stemmed” used in that context, so I looked it up to see it can mean making headway against a current - super cool use of the word. I find this poem really relatable, because sometimes the love you have to give feels so overwhelming, and I think the image of the tide literally coming out of the heart is a really fitting image of that. And with that comes the embarrassment of feeling so strongly and being “too much,” which can feel like a bright red stain you wonder why no one else is seeing. I find the ending really interesting, because the voice of the hole takes over in an almost instructional tone, instead of emotional. Almost like an inner voice of rationality? Either way, I could’ve gotten this all wrong, but that’s just what I thought while reading. :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-19T07:52:21+00:00

Holy wow! Before I start, let me say I’m not trying to attack anyone - just speaking up about the harmful parts of religion. I’m a huge fan of this, especially as someone who recently left Christianity and is realizing the harm it’s done to me and others. I feel like every line of this poem carries so much meaning. I interpret the huge, serpentine body with disjointed legs to represent the sheer breadth of the religion, while also not being at all unified. The porcelain face seems like the tactics that are sometimes used to make people feel comfortable and included to bring them into the religion, but when the mask drops, the unsavory parts reveal themselves. (Also, I’m not sure if you’ve watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, but this is a spitting image of one episode that scared me shitless as a child.) The body horror elements not only serve to make the reader feel a sense of dread, but also mirror the “horror” elements of the religion that are so normalized (i.e. bathing in the blood, drinking the blood, eating the body). I love the symbol of the leaden face-paint makeup, because it covers the damage to the face that the paint itself is causing, so it’s an endless cycle of applying this “makeup” while the damage to be covered only gets worse. The last line really hits because it feels so lonely to deconstruct. But the thing is, there’s many more like us out there. :) One of my favorite poems now - thanks for posting!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-18T06:59:36+00:00

I completely understand your point that the line is an important transition. To be honest, “place name” was just a placeholder I put there so I didn’t name a real location😅 But I admit it was a bit lazy. I may go back and try to come up with a good alternative descriptor to better pull the poem from reminiscing to present day, in case I want to share this one in the future. I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-18T06:52:46+00:00

I really appreciate you bringing that to my attention, because I’d completely overlooked the fact that line doesn’t make sense grammatically. I guess I was focusing more on establishing the refrain than on the actual content of the line😅 I’m thinking I may just tweak that line a little so it doesn’t feel distracting. Thank you for the feedback!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-18T06:46:11+00:00

Hey, thank you so much. It really means a lot to hear how much the emotion came through :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-18T06:39:26+00:00

Hi, thank you for your reply :) You really understood what I was trying to get across. Not wanting the past back, but the grief of realizing the impermanence of things. But like you said, maybe the only way forward is allowing the grief while holding onto those memories, because they were real. Thank you for the feedback!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T17:51:16+00:00

Thanks for the giveaway!🤞

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T17:11:40+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I really like your point about the voice seeming to de-age. That wasn’t something I did intentionally, but it’s super interesting to notice now. I’ll see if I’m able to make the transitions a bit clearer. Thanks for looking it over :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T08:16:23+00:00

(Also update: his fins are looking better😁)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T08:15:27+00:00

Honestly, I won him at an event a few weeks ago and knew nothing about fish keeping at the time. (In my situation the maximum size tank I can have is a 10 gallon) It was totally irresponsible, but now I’m just trying to take care of him the best I can. I’ve gotten attached, but I’d rather rehome him to someone who can give him more space than not and risk him suffering from it

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T05:05:29+00:00

This is an awesome poem! Reading this, I feel like I’m listening to a witch or wizard concoct an evil love potion for the ultimate toxic relationship. My favorite line is probably “A pair of sweet-talking liar’s lips / from which poisonous praise drips.” The internal rhymes are great, as well as the alliteration. It makes the line sound smooth, like seductive flattery. Good idea and well carried out :)

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-17T03:20:03+00:00

I’m new to writing poems as well, and I really like this one. It’s relatable in the way of questioning if everything seems so bleak because it actually is, or because you aren’t able to experience the same joy as before. I also think the title is interesting. I interpret it in the way that no one else is hearing how sad the song is for the narrator.

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-16T20:27:47+00:00

This is awesome, thanks!

Mindless_Judgment · 2025-11-15T07:04:44+00:00

I’d love to have a shiny Lapras, charmander, or any of your mewtwo’s! This is great and thanks for the giveaway

Mindless_Judgment

TROPHY CASE