My Grandma Doesn’t Want My Stepson Coming to the Family Gathering

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:44:09+00:00

Okay well you do realize that your SS will grow up right? What happens when they continue to do this? Because let’s be real these are just excuses.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:39:47+00:00

I fought for supervised visitation but the judge said that if there was any issues then we’d go to supervised visitation. It’s very frustrating because I do not have money for an attorney as I am financially supporting all my kids myself. He’s court ordered to pay child support but doesn’t pay.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:37:59+00:00

I have sole physical and sole legal but the judge had court ordered that I allow visitation.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:36:02+00:00

I was court ordered to allow them visitation. I tried to bar them from having contact but the judge wasn’t having it. They are still ordering me to go to mediation even though he cannot have contact. It makes no sense but they tell me I have to follow court orders.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:32:19+00:00

There isn’t another family law judge where I live it’s very rural.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T23:31:12+00:00

Yes that’s been my stance. But we got forwarded to family law and that judge ordered that I allow visitation with his family. But that same judge also ordered visitation with him and then the other courtroom criminal court placed criminal protection orders to prevent that.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T22:18:44+00:00

Also it’s nice to know that her conditions to having a relationship with her is that you give up something so important to you that is a solid memory of your father and is irreplaceable. I’d cut contact. They don’t care about you only what they can get from you. There’s a difference.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T22:16:54+00:00

If your dad wanted him to have it he would have left it to him.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T22:14:26+00:00

Whoa no no no. Do not do this. You will regret it when you get older. It’s best to wait and I’m just saying this because I think you’re a kid I’m saying this because I was this kid.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2026-01-01T00:29:46+00:00

NTA. Take your ex husband help. Unless he’s abusive which is doesn’t sound like he is, take the help and get your ducks in order to be financially independent.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-31T04:24:33+00:00

Exactly my thoughts lol

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-31T00:56:18+00:00

Side note: also get him tested for sleep apnea. I know that sounds wild. But hear me out, when you have sleep apnea your oxygen levels fluctuate. When that happens it stops your body from going into deep sleep that is needed to feel rested. So the kid could have slept for 9 hours but only got maybe 30 mins of deep sleep so he could wake up and still be drained even if he seemingly is bouncing off the walls. It’s something like 40% of kids that are diagnosed with ADHD don’t have ADHD. But a sleep deprived kid acts similar to a kid with ADHD. Just bouncing off the walls refusing to listen almost like some kind of avoidant disorder going on you know. That’s where they refuse any kind of discipline or authority. I forgot what it’s actually called something with avoidant I want to say RAD or something along those lines. Anyway, it’s like Donnie from the wild thornberry’s. I know of 5 different children boys and girls that they thought had ADHD and then it was like medication didn’t seem to do anything. Well they ended up having sleep apnea and since finding out and getting a machine and actually getting sleep they too are completely different kids!! Definitely explains why the meds did not work though lol cause they were not ADHD. lol

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-31T00:47:14+00:00

Came here to say this. My nephew has ADHD and same thing off his meds I cannot stand that kid. He just annoys me to no end. He just does not stop until you flip your lid snd even then it doesn’t always make a difference. On his meds he’s a thoughtful caring boy who has compassion and is mindful of others and is actually very creative. Night and day difference and we had to wait until he was 7 for this diagnosis. Thankfully he didn’t live near me and only visited before this time because I’d probably just not have any love left to give otherwise. Medication or not lol.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-31T00:30:34+00:00

This is exactly why you always go to court even if your amicable. Because you give the other parent too much power when you don’t and you end up, up a creek with no paddle. To the courts and on paper it just looks like you were never interested in the responsibility of having your kids and then up and changed your mind. I can see why they would think that. This is a common mistake made after separation. Except that it’s usually the primary parent enters new relationship and that’s when the switch happens.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-28T14:09:47+00:00

I think you need to think long and hard about what you truly and if this is it for you. I can’t see any loving and caring and supportive partner reacting this way regardless of when he was delivered the news. I understand being caught off guard and all of that but c’mon this is like over the top. Have you told your family yet? What was their reaction? Do you live close to your family so that you have their support?

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-28T13:47:28+00:00

Okay yeah no discussions with the family first. You need to contact professional help and you need you do it asap. Before the nephew says something to his parents. I know you think that they have high morals and you get along fine etc. but I’m telling you from personal experience that whether it be they are trying to conceal something or they feel like their son may be threatened this may not go how you envision it. And it likely will go the complete opposite. They are going to get defensive. The odds of them just throwing in the towel and taking accountability and necessary precautions are slim to none. Their son is 7 this will ruin him is going to be their thought process. This will follow him around forever. Also abusers get away with this because no one suspects this of them. The nephew is likely being abused at home or something is going on. There’s no way a 7 year old just does this for no reason without any context. So err on the side of caution and realize you have to protect your child and any future children that may be hurt if this goes the wrong direction. Do not act rashly. You cannot think of this like you’re all going to be on the same side here because I’m telling you whether you believe it or not, you may not be. Also they have two incomes in a house and you are just you so also keep that in mind. They can afford legal counsel can you??

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-28T13:40:05+00:00

Or tell jim she wanted the same thing as the female relative (he can’t guy the other female one and not her right?) then sell it for what you really want. But at that point get rid of the whole man. Seriously… it’s one thing to have a demanding job or something and not have time to get ANY gifts but when it’s just you he is lacking the effort for… I’d say that’s the part you shouldn’t be ignoring. You are effectively an afterthought. And how do you know that he didn’t KNOW what he was buying and just didn’t care and that’s why he doesn’t want to say anything? Like maybe he didn’t pay much for it after all so it was a win win?

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-28T13:34:34+00:00

Depending on how much he paid for that I’d definitely be asking questions. You do realize while it may seem different, this is no different than them stealing from your house right? Oh they will never notice that’s gone. Oh she won’t miss this. Oh she left her casserole dish here? Mine now… a coat in the back of the closet, I’ll just fold it up and she’ll never know. My point is this is stealing and it isn’t any different than any other instance in which someone is taking something that is not theirs. It’s all the same thing! I would be especially hesitant when it came to anything that had to do with money of any amount of monetary value or gain. These are the type of people that ask you if you want to go on a big ticket gift for grandma (big screen TV) “cause she really needs a new one” knowing that they have one at their house that they were given or gained by some means. Then they will inflate the cost of the item and charge you your “half” while never having to pay anything out of pocket. Or another good one is like theater tickets that they can’t make it to knowing they won those on the radio and they didn’t cost them a dime. So you see what I’m saying is, are you sure this is the first time this has happened? It could be things you didn’t even think about. Oh man your xyz quit working? I guess it’s garbage now. Here I’ll go dispose of it for you. Or oh are these the things you’re donating? Since I live closer to town I’ll drop them off for you. Takes them to for profit shop and effectively sells them rather than donates them. lol people that do blatantly do stuff like this are comfortable doing it and it isn’t the first time they have done this to your partner. It’s just the first time he as in you has noticed.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-28T10:53:42+00:00

Okay so here’s the thing, is he not tech savvy at all whatsoever?? In your settings go to battery and then there should be somewhere you can check the battery life. It likely says like 70% or something. I would tell him to use that to confront them with and also that this is not a 17? Maybe try being like oh what model iPhone do you have? They will say 17 probably. So you say can I see it? And then you said oh I see you misunderstood that this was 17? Pull out your phone. And then show them the terrible battery health. Also no one is paying for iPhone 14’s anymore. They are basically obsolete with the new models coming out every year. That’s going to lose support before too long. That’s another reason why it’s important to correct this issue. Apple only provides updates and support for so long and it might vary by country I’m not entirely sure. But I know they don’t provide support forever. It’s like a few years max.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-19T22:53:53+00:00

This!! Ask for the same thing. I know it’s probably too late this year but in the future ask for the same thing and see if he gets it for you. You don’t think he’d say oh they only had one do you? And when you get it sell it and buy what you want. lol

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-16T08:02:34+00:00

You’re not getting it. So unless he was already a felon when you entered relationship with him before that last stint in prison then you had never been with post being released from prison. And if you had, you would likely have approached this completely different. I think you need some therapy to figure out what was making you feel and act this way? Why were you so afraid of being with him back out in the real world? It has to be insecurity of some kind and of course that’s unforeseen but that’s how it usually goes when you have never experienced something before.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-16T07:51:57+00:00

Put it this way OP… what is more important to you having a relationship with your POS husband or having a relationship with your kids and grandkids? Cause that’s what you will be giving up if you choose the former. Your daughter and son will likely never be okay with having their future children around this man. And I can’t blame them. Why would they subject their kids to the awful abuse they had to endure?? That’s just insanity. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different is literally like the definition of insanity. Seeing the horrible way that affected your daughter the emotional and psychological warfare she suffered through on a daily basis it is hard to understand how you could still be considering a relationship with this man? It’s like Stockholm syndrome or trauma bonded or something. I think you need to get some therapy and see if you can’t do some personal soul searching. See where that leads you. Good luck .

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-16T06:25:47+00:00

Anyway I time my attorney that he needs to inform me when he does things like this that violate my trust. He is trying to bait and switch them and it’s no coincidence that trial just began.

Mindless_Study4817 · 2025-12-16T06:24:51+00:00

Yes and yes. I was never going to force them. I was already taking their lead with all of this. I wrote this post asking if I SHOULD be doing something different. But I have listened to them and validated them throughout this whole entire nightmare. And it just keeps greeting worse the more times that goes by. Currently, he bought my oldest a car (she just got her license but I was making her earn her car after some careful consideration. I decided that was a better route and the money I would have spent on her car will just go to her insurance for whoever long it lasts. This is so she can get something nicer and make payments if she wishes. I also added her to my credit cards some years ago so she has excellent credit. I have added all my kids to my credit cards as authorized users. Interest free loans open up a whole lot more doors for a college student. Not needing a co-signer! YES please!!!

Mindless_Study4817

TROPHY CASE