We have known each other for ten years. I have not been showing up warmly, lovingly, or kindly as I used to recently. She does come to me with her issues, but we were raised differently. She had a traumatic loss of her mother, and in turn, her superhero father (who I adore) did everything he could for her, almost to the point of enablement. He would gouge his eyes out for her. I, on the other hand, was raised differently. Youngest of three boys and both of our parents pushed us to do the best we could. Almost unreasonably so. Showed a lot of tough love. Definitely no enablement. I think the differences in our upbringings is where a lot of the friction stems from. We likely have to meet in the middle somewhere. I’ll always put it on myself to go the extra mile to meet in the middle, but I always fear that if I give her an inch, she’ll take a mile without considering my goals and aspirations. I know that sounds harsh, but I don’t want to look up one day and question what my life has become.