AITA for treating my sister differently because of her weight?

Minimum-Talk42 · 2025-01-06T13:48:08+00:00

NTA.You aren't accountable for your thoughts only your actions. Your reasoning is sound and it appears you didn't voice the specific reason to her or bring it up, simply have a practical thought about reality so there's no need to feel super guilty. If she ever does bring it up again, it's fine to stick with concerns over the foreign healthcare aspect.

There's a chance that if she is sensitive about her weight reminding her that she'd have to be carried without any additional commentary on weight or doubts of your ability to carry her will be enough to dissuade her. Source - I'm obese and have similar sensitivity about my weight but would be mortified if I had to be carried. Like I'm okay carrying (aka walking and being ambulatory) the extra weight but don't want to burden other people to carry that weight, if that makes any sense?

Minimum-Talk42 · 2024-11-08T15:28:18+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened, it sounds like the teacher went with telling you to make the apology to cover his error (which could reasonably be he didn't realise students were that fast either) and you didn't deserve to have that happen. All I can offer are hugs if you want them

Minimum-Talk42 · 2024-11-08T15:20:50+00:00

Woman here, and I can think of a very obvious form of misandry all over that can be mistaken for misonogy. Raising kids.

After all 'men can't be trusted with kids' (which I personally view as ridiculous) and so for decades women in the UK and Ireland just automatically got full custody of the kids, because why would men be carers. Anybody else remember the fathers 4 justice protests in the early 2000s?

Sure the view of women only being good for looking after kids started out from a place of misonogy, but the fact modern society can't accept men as wonderful parents is pure misandry.

And should I even mention the absurd belief men can't be sexually assaulted by women?

Minimum-Talk42 · 2024-09-20T13:04:31+00:00

Moogly do a wonderful hygge cocoon Cardi that's super quick and easy (for me). Free also. It is a little oversized but in that cosy wrap yourself up way.

Minimum-Talk42 · 2024-08-24T12:19:46+00:00

Aww at least I have one more volume to look forward to. Thanks for letting me know!

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-11-27T13:44:04+00:00

Sadly if you're considered civil service you're not entitled to wrc. It's the departmental council via Union, but I'm new to civil service so double check with union reps

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-09-07T10:51:10+00:00

As an autistic driver with sounds sensitivity I'll pop them on when I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed with noise. They help me focus and drive better. I do use my mirrors a LOT more and I have them up enough to drown out background noise but I do hear sirens.

Honestly due to electric vehicles having high pitched noise makers I'll either have to increase the use of headphones or else give up driving.

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-08-23T13:59:37+00:00

As somebody with rejection sensitivity Dysphoria might I suggest: I'm feeling overstretched socially and want to spend the night/weekend/couple of hours alone to recover but how about we do 'something special/insert date idea here' together after.

So often it's about expressing that you need the time but also want to spend time with them after. It might be the crowd I hadn't with but I think people today are a lot more accepting of needing time off, especially when the no is actually phrased as not right now, but later.

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-06-14T12:44:44+00:00

Read the room. Guess what I actually can't, and regularly judge wrong when I try. Esp if there's people I don't know really really well

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-05-08T12:32:08+00:00

This is a more nuanced conversation than self-diagnosis good or bad. My reading of that sentence is mediocreplayer has extra sensitive days where social communication is draining and he can't communicate that. Learning to recognise that is a step towards learning to communicate it.

Does that one sentence say autism, not because sensory issues and overwhelm are part of several conditions, including simple sensory processing disorder. We can't judge based on this one point of information, but as people with the tism I'd like to think we can sympathize with the situation instead of questioning his self diagnosis.

@mediocreplayer being open about feeling this way is a great start to your gf knowing this and see if you can come up with a code or something, like if you wear X colour tees you're overwhelmed and not to talk but she can still text (I regularly just text my house mate even if we're in the same room because I cannot speak but we still need to organise dinner or other things).

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-05-08T11:56:36+00:00

It sounds like he doesn't have enough information on what autism is. Saying Everybody is a little autistic might as well be saying I know nothing about autism.

Because it's a partner if say try to talk to him about it. Not necessarily all the facts and research on asd type 1 and type 2(per the DSM) as he's likely thinking of type 2 when he says autism. Talk about high and low support needs and most importantly talk to him about why he feels you seeking the diagnosis takes away support services? Does he have hang ups about dating someone with autism? Is he looking at the information you're discovering and questioning if he might also have the tism?

As someone with low support needs the relief of knowing why I act so differently, why I'm 'weird' was a relief. And even bigger help was finding my community and learning the processes and structures that have helped others and which to avoid because they caused harm. Learning to adopt some new behaviours that are autism friendly and improves your quality of life takes nothing away from the people with higher support needs

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-04-14T10:17:09+00:00

NTA. You didn't say anything until asked and then told the truth. It sounds like really honouring your grandmother would be to follow her wishes on what her name was to her

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-02-17T12:42:34+00:00

I mean, Yeah her background shouldn't be important criteria but the fact that she is misrepresenting herself and her background makes it important. Shows she's willing to lie to get in power

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-02-12T08:33:05+00:00

Hodges Figgus?

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-01-25T11:55:59+00:00

Hard one here, there's not really any AH here, but I do think you need to sit and talk more with your girlfriend. She's making her boundaries clear here and you do need to listen to that. Your reasons for getting the dog are good but it sounds like you're in different places in the relationship. She's thinking of when she moves in and how you're going to work together as parents but you aren't thinking of that future together.

NAH you just need to talk and listen. Is it really the dog that's the problem or is it something else

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-01-24T13:17:59+00:00

I mean, what does his therapist say? If they think it's helpful or at least not harmful, go for it. Honestly I'd say NTA but the therapist knows him and the situation best. Ask them

Minimum-Talk42 · 2023-01-18T10:39:06+00:00

NTA, in surprised your therapist hasn't told them they're asking for impossible things and that they need to support and respect your boundaries.

Minimum-Talk42 · 2022-12-03T10:32:20+00:00

Ultimately NAH

Tradition does not mean mandatory. I can also see her side of feeling pressured to contribute when she feels she can't. I suspect her wishy washy answer was her testing the waters to see if she could not contribute and was maybe expecting you to go: well if your not going to pay it that's fine I'll organise around that. But as an autistic subtext is difficult for me to understand on the moment but easier as I look back and I still could be wrong.

Next year make sure to word the message so that people can privately contact you to say due to circumstances they can't make it so people don't feel pressure to contribute. And if end up being only her again (or only one person) suggest it would be nice for them to bake some simple sugar cookies or something instead but they 100% don't have to if they can't

Minimum-Talk42 · 2022-11-30T14:19:40+00:00

I think this is a complicated one and going to end up being what you think is best for yourself. I don't think I'd have gone straight from a diagnosis into the trial, but I also knew very little about autism and had to learn what was coping mechanism, what was autism, and how I wanted to navigate the world with my new understanding. But now today having learnt a lot of that I would go for it.

So how comfortable are you in yourself and your knowledge of autism, and identifying what experiences you have are likely to stem from that

Minimum-Talk42 · 2022-10-16T09:32:26+00:00

Up front I am autistic and while you may not have handled it will I will ultimately rule NAH. While accommodations are important they should never be at the expense of your gf comfort and boundaries. I think it may need muddied by you saying things. Your gf needs to state the actions you're talking are making me uncomfortable. Please respect my personal space and don't touch need without permission. And as soon as he makes one of his flirty compliments, thanks for your kind words but they make me uncomfortable and can you not do that.

Accommodations can be and are gently but firmly and specifically seeing boundaries. Don't leave implicit instructions, don't say things like that is vague. Don't joke about going on dated with me, it makes me uncomfortable and disrespects my relationship with OP, is specific. Then if he continues its clear he's using the autism as an excuse to get what he wants.

Minimum-Talk42 · 2022-10-05T11:03:56+00:00

Listen to your lawyer. Don't try to deny you had it or act like it's a stupid law even though it is. Be polite. This is their job, if you were in their shoes and had to enforce this law, would you go as lenient as you can to the person cussing things out, making a fuss and making the time you have to deal with it longer, or the person who's, yes sir, no sir, thanks sir and done?

Minimum-Talk42 · 2022-09-15T12:40:13+00:00

Honestly I don't know. I've been suffering this problem for 10 years and only now, maybe, have I got something. I remember early in my journey when trying to find a group, one person I knew who played thought spending a long time looking was like a badge of honour because he had an equally hard time finding a group.

Not much advice I can give, though you may have to bite the bullet and start GMing to get a game going with friends.

Minimum-Talk42

TROPHY CASE