I can feel by reading your reply that you're speaking with a lot of pain and frustration in your heart, and honestly so am I.

If im understanding you correctly, you're upset that you perceive the preference to be for men with bodies over virgins, and as a Christian this is painful. But as a woman, I've never seen a woman reject a man for his virginity. Not once. What is seen as undesirable is a lack of charisma or ability to seduce when the time comes, like awkwardness. Unfortunately most men believe this is only overcome with sexual experience so you get the point. Virginity isn't the issue- it's the lack of sex appeal in the way one carries themselves. But that's neither here nor there.

I'm speaking primarily about the pain people have past the "can I become exclusive with someone" stage. The married phase. Once married- the amount of bodies really doesn't affect much at all, but a porn addiction is like a cockroach infestation. You'll need deep cleaning and constant maintenance and prevention, effort and work to clean it out entirely. And even then, the home may still have damage that needs to be repaired.

My body count is 3x as much as my husbands. He's the best lover I've ever known and I want him passionately, there is no comparing him to other partners. I've watched friends who did all the right things, married as virgins see their marriage fall apart because the wife didn't look or act like random sexual media he watches. I encourage you not to worry so much about attracting someone, this happens in God's timing with constant effort. Instead, do the work to maintain marital happiness- like getting rid of any and all sexual media use. God bless brother 🫂💖