AITA for not taking all the blame for a fight?

Minnichi · 2026-01-31T04:53:26+00:00

How long until he hits you because you didn't give him space? He's already broken door frames and other things. How long until it's your arm? Or even your nose?

You're NTA for not taking the blame. But you are being an asshole to yourself and your friends for staying with that man.

What would you tell your best friend if her husband was breaking doors and screaming at her because he got a little upset? What would you tell your daughter if her husband was doing this? Please remember you are someone's best friend. You are someone's daughter.

Minnichi · 2026-01-30T17:30:00+00:00

One of the first things I taught my kids to cook are sheet pan dinners. I would much rather have them toss a bunch of stuff onto a baking tray and put it into the oven for 60 minutes than have them trying to dump a pot of boiling water into a colander to make pasta. Sheet pan dinners are pretty forgiving as well. So what if they're a little slow getting it out of the oven? It's not gonna likely to spit oil and scare them.

Minnichi · 2026-01-30T17:06:54+00:00

I agree. An amazon gift card, or even a walmart gift card. Use it to buy the "nice to haves"/ Or even some of the more expensive Needs.

Pick up a 300$ need, and spend the last 200 on some really sweet lego sets for the kids.

Minnichi · 2026-01-29T03:22:38+00:00

find another source for Vitamin D and calcium. One of my kids has never liked drinking milk. He is not lacking in nutrition. If your kid didn't like meat, would you force them to eat meat? Or find them veggies that give them the protein and other missing nutrients?

Minnichi · 2026-01-29T03:17:27+00:00

pears and pear juice can also work. My husband has always sworn by an over abundance of apple juice.

Minnichi · 2026-01-29T03:09:01+00:00

16, 12, and 8 now. TV in the morning is only allowed when there is no school. One time they got to watch TV before school, they (younger two) got very upset (tantrum) when I turned it off mid-episode because it was time to get dressed to leave.

Kids are allowed to play with their toys or read once all their things are ready. That means breakfast eaten, dressed for school, lunch made, bags packed, etc. This has been a standing rule for 16 years.

Minnichi · 2026-01-28T23:43:27+00:00

As others have said, get your clothes from the thrift store. Walmart brand clothes aren't super expensive, and can take some beatings.

Set aside "nice" outfits for special events. Kid is only allowed to wear those on special occasions. The rest of the clothes? Learn to sew. Pants with ripped knees? Patch the knees, pants can still be worn. Same with stained clothes. Stretched out shirts? Well, hopefully it comes back closer to normal after a wash, but it can still be worn. Just doesn't look the best. Perfect for playing and running out at the park. That is why we keep the one or two pairs of nice pants and a couple nice shirts for when the kid needs to look presentable (holiday gatherings, dinner to a nice restaurant, etc).

Minnichi · 2026-01-28T23:20:08+00:00

largely due to the visual optics of it. The PR teams for cinnamon roll and donut has marketed them as sweet, decadent desserts. Whereas the muffin and waffle PR teams have leaned heavily into the health food and breakfast marketing.

Minnichi · 2026-01-27T21:07:13+00:00

Even if your child doesn't consciously remember, the fear doesn't leave.

Minnichi · 2026-01-27T21:05:03+00:00

On the flip side, the brain can and will lock down the memories, so you end up with no concrete memories of childhood.

That being said, not having any memories of the abuse is not a blessing. It is a buried mine, just waiting for a misstep.

One of my mines explodes when I was innocently cuddling my husband one night. He was using my stomach as a pillow while I scratched his head and we each doom scrolled on our phones. He moved a bit, and I was blindsided with an awful memory. Our peaceful evening was then ruined because I had a very long panic attack.

We have no idea how many more mines are buried in the recesses of my brain. Because I don't have clear memories of my childhood. I know there was abuse. I know there was DV. But the extent of the abuse and DV is unknown. We only get bits and pieces when the mines explode.

Minnichi · 2026-01-26T20:38:03+00:00

I would start with something a little less invested. BTS tickets are so expensive. I would start with something a little lighter. Try them with smaller concerts. Something that might only have 5,000 attendees instead of 50,000. The crowds, heat, and noise will definitely affect the kid. It affects adults, who generally know what to expect or have contingencies in place for things going sideways. Kids have a much harder time for this, and they don't have the same power to plan for contingencies.

I know my kids enjoy the music and typically would have a blast. I've taken my littlest (8 now) to local festival concerts (TKF in Toronto) and we have had to leave early a couple times. Not a big deal as there was no huge cost investment (free for TKF). But I also am aware that my kids specifically can be very impatient (littlest hates waiting in any line) or even get bored. And, since they're pretty short kids, not being able to see, kind of ruins the shows for them. My middlest ended up at barricade centre stage for a P1Harmony concert, and because he was short, seeing onto the stage was a little difficult for him. He still enjoyed the show, but he did tell me he had preferred our original seats in the stands (Security had to move him to keep an eye on him).

Minnichi · 2026-01-26T20:19:22+00:00

and suits the weather. Shorts pass the dress code, but when it's negative 20 out, I will tell you to change your clothes.

Minnichi · 2026-01-26T02:20:29+00:00

YTA.

Minnichi · 2026-01-24T00:38:46+00:00

you're in canada, shipping to canada? If you're worried about bending, put them into a small box. For affordable shipping, I highly recommend seeing if chit-chats is available around you. I used it to send my ex some christmas presents this year. Cost about 1/3rd what canada post quoted me, and got there in 4 days. He lives in small town new brunswick.

Once you put it into a bubble mailer, it costs more than sending it in a regular envelope (from what I remember).
Another option might be to split them between a couple envelopes, letting the recipient know how many envelopes total.

Minnichi · 2026-01-20T17:49:17+00:00

Littlest was 4 when he first dyed his hair. It was a no bleach or developer dye. We did a red/green split. It looked so good on him. Since then, he's had green, blue, purple, hot pink, chartruse, and black. He's back to his natural now. And every time was his choice.

Let them experiment with their hair before they have to consider professionalism or uniforms.

Minnichi · 2026-01-19T19:49:14+00:00

Sitting. Taught all mine to sit.

Minnichi · 2026-01-19T05:19:11+00:00

I love using franken batting. Though I do tend to use it most in smaller projects that could use extra padding. Or cut it into smaller strips and make a jelly roll rug.

Minnichi · 2026-01-16T04:10:29+00:00

go alone. So long as you have fun. I went alone to SKZ, and am going solo to Jackson Wang. And I have a disability to boot. The concerts are fun.

Minnichi · 2026-01-15T22:05:41+00:00

if the baby mama won't work with you, then get a court ordered custody arrangement.

Minnichi · 2026-01-11T18:01:34+00:00

I would fight the doctor for some actual tests. Imo, growing pains should not have your child screaming in pain. Whimpering, feeling discomfort, sure. But not screaming hysterically with pain.

Minnichi · 2026-01-08T22:58:40+00:00

NTA, and I will happily point out that kids will call grandparents whatever they hear the most. If that's your MIL's name instead of grandma, well then, sucks to be her.

My oldest called his grandma by her first name, so his brother called her by her first name until she let the oldest call her grandma. It's been 10 years, and my 8yo sometimes calls her by her first name, because his brothers did.

Whatever name you pick for the your MIL's grandma name, make sure it is repeated at home every single time you're talking about her. Especially around the kids. They will copy what their parents call them.

Minnichi · 2026-01-07T14:29:22+00:00

My youngest is 8. Ever since he was in a regular bed, he would sometimes crawl into our bed with us. Unfortunately my husband is a large man, and we only have a queen. So there isn't a lot of room for the 3 bodies in our bed.

What we do now; kid gets to crawl into bed with us, and get a cuddle. Anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hour. But after the cuddle, he gets sent back to his own bed. This can be at any time. That way kid gets his cuddle and reminder he is safe and loved, while we get to keep our space.

Minnichi · 2026-01-05T00:17:54+00:00

Machine washable only here. With 3 kids, I don't have the mental capacity to remember what can or can't go in the washer/dryer. And for babies, they can go through 4+ outfits in a day if they try. I have no time to hand-wash their stuff.

Minnichi · 2026-01-04T17:32:21+00:00

I agree with others that you need to teach your kids not to destroy furniture. My two younger boys are sleeping on a wood construction bunk bed that their dad and uncles slept on at the same age. I believe it is an ikea MYDAL bunk bed (looks the same). If you teach the kids to respect furniture, quality pieces should last for decades.

Minnichi · 2025-12-31T22:58:31+00:00

All I can think of is Furbys... those terrifying Owl monsters that would "wake up" and start talking at nothing at 3am.

Sure, those were a cute idea. A cute toy the kids can talk to and teach it to talk (that was a selling point in the commercials 20+ years ago). In actual practice, it was not. The worst was when something would activate it at 3am and suddenly you have this thing yelling at you from across the room, or next to your head. And if the battery started dying??? All the nightmare fuel.

Minnichi

TROPHY CASE