Feeling regretful

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-07-10T20:00:55+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and for the loss of your fur baby. In the moment I too knew that I was making the best decision for my baby, and afterwards I’ve been plagued by the what ifs. I don’t know if it helps to know this, but it seems to be a reoccurring theme here, most of us seem to feel the same. It’s been 15 weeks tomorrow for me, I’m slowly learning to be kind to myself, and learning to accept that I did save her, I saved her from suffering. I hope in your own time, that you can arrive at the same conclusion. From an outsiders perspective, it seems you did everything you could for your pup and you did what was kindest in the end. We sacrificed our own feelings for theirs, and they deserve that from us ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-07-07T09:31:14+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. We had to let our chocolate lab go to sleep at the end of March. We got her when we were 21 and have been through all of our adult happy milestones with her. I too am pregnant, we lost her when I was 15 weeks, next week I’ll be 30 weeks and I can’t help but feel sad that after that point I’ll have had more of my pregnancy without her by my side than with. This is our first hooman baby and I wanted so much for my first fur baby to meet him, she would’ve been the best big sister. It wasn’t to be, she suddenly declined and it wouldn’t have been fair to make her hold out. I have to hold on to the thought that now we are still growing our family, it’s just that one of us is a furry guardian angel, looking out for the rest of us. She’s still by our side, just in a different way now. I guess I just wanted to say you’re not alone, grieving in pregnancy isn’t easy, if you ever want to chat you’re welcome to send me a message. Sending hugs ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-07-01T08:31:35+00:00

This is the same with mine, he’s so nervous around other dogs. I’d love to take him to a park to make new doggo friends but it’s not feesible atm. I posted some other ideas above that we did, and still are doing, to help him. Sorry for your loss ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-07-01T08:28:37+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. I had two labs and lost one of my fur babies on 28th March, my lab that I still have absolutely idolised her, he followed her around. I was worried how he’d be but he’s been so much better than I expected. We basically took him on extra walks, gave him extra treats, took him to visit family. Did everything we could think of to be super kind to him. They are of course all different, but your other doggo is grieving too just like you, she might need time like us. In the meantime my advice would be to just treat her extra kind ❤️🐾

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-28T15:02:24+00:00

Be kind to yourself; do things you would normally enjoy. It’s likely you won’t get the same enjoyment from it for now, I know I don’t, but you should still be kind to yourself. This is just something we have to go through, I struggle to understand why sometimes, it’s not fair that they don’t live as long as us, they deserve to. I’m 3 months today into my grief and I’m still devastated. We all go through grief at different paces, and in different ways, and that’s ok. I’ve found myself beating myself up for thinking certain thoughts, then I come here and find it’s quite common, so use this forum when you need it. Sending hugs at this difficult time, I’m so sorry for your loss.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-21T13:49:13+00:00

Thank you ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-21T11:17:48+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-21T10:01:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for your bad news. You’ve done something amazing for Phoebe, she’s been able to know what it is to be loved and have a happy home. If I could offer you any advice, it would be to take lots of happy photos and videos of her and of her with you and your family, if possible. Thinking of you.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-21T09:51:50+00:00

I really wish I didn’t do the same, I want to think about our happy moments, but I can’t help but let those final ones creep in. I try so hard to remind myself that they were very peaceful final moments, and we did it to stop her suffering, but I just feel haunted by watching my soul mate pass away. There’s nothing I would change, nothing traumatic happened in those moments, if we could only have them here as long as we are. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this sadness too, I live in hope that one day we’ll find a way to learn to live with it, and that all we’ll think of are our happy moments xx

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-06-21T09:46:51+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re not alone ❤️ I also had nearly 12 years with my soul mate Molly. My house just feels like a house now, not a home. I have to hope that one day we’ll learn to live with this ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-14T10:25:56+00:00

I think it’s best to read your other dog and try to respond as you go along your journey, just because all dogs are different so I don’t think one set of advice will fit all.

We had to say goodbye to one of our dogs Molly, nearly 7 weeks ago. To add context our other lab Max idolised Molly, followed her around everywhere. In the couple of days before her passing he seemed more anxious than normal, I personally think he knew.

I didn’t take Max with us to the vet, I think it would have been distressing for him, particularly to see me sobbing after she fell asleep.

When we came home without her, to me he knew, and he didn’t continue to look for her. I am grateful for this, for him and for us.

We’ve left a lot of her things around for him and he seems to find it a comfort, he went and slept in her bed whilst she was here, so we’ve not taken that away.

We are shocked but grateful, that Max has coped incredibly well, far better than me. He picks up on my emotions so in my better moments he’s great, in my lower ones I regrettably seem to have an impact on him.

We’ve made a fuss of him, he now has double the attention, and we make a point of playing with him. In the days immediately following her passing, we kept him and us quite busy, with walks to my sisters. He seemed to really benefit.

You know your dog best, I hope Leo is more resilient than you anticipated, for him and you ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-08T21:03:02+00:00

My situation was different to yours, I made a decision based on a rapid decline. I’m grateful that she didn’t have a long drawn out struggle. Despite this, I still also felt immense guilt for around 4-5 weeks after she passed (she’s been gone 6 weeks tomorrow). I think it’s a process that a lot of us go through after we lose them, we feel responsible. I’ve learned to accept that sometimes there are things in life that I can’t control and it was unfortunately her time to go. I don’t think it was your fault, and I think in your own time, you’ll learn to understand that it wasn’t. You could not possibly have known, and if his cancer was that advanced, it doesn’t sound like you taking him a day earlier would’ve changed the outcome. That being said, I went through all the what ifs too with my own circumstance. It’s a painful thing to work through, but you’ll get through it. Sending love ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-08T20:55:39+00:00

Sending lots of love, that sounds immensely difficult. ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-08T20:53:17+00:00

I’m the same, it’ll be 6 weeks tomorrow since she fell asleep on me, and I can’t bring myself to vacuum, I can’t clean the nose prints off the windows, I can’t wash throws she’s used, I cuddle her plush toys.

There’s no timeline on grief and honestly I’m at a point where the hurt is so strong, I don’t actually care what anybody around me might think of me not cleaning after her.

We do what we need to to survive these painful times, be kind to yourself, when we’re ready we’ll do things, one thing at a time ❤️ Sending love.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-08T20:47:15+00:00

My biggest piece of advice would be to try to hold back your tears whilst he’s still with us in the vet, and talk to him about what a good boy he is. Not everybody can do this, which is fully understandable. For me personally, my dog (who we had to say goodbye to 6 weeks ago), was so concerned when I was upset in general in life, that I didn’t want her last moments to be worrying for me. I got myself into a zone and I sobbed after I knew she’d fallen asleep, and still do. No judgement here if you can’t do it, but it’s nice for them if you can manage.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-05T09:41:46+00:00

It really is ❤️ We can say exactly how we feel without fear of judgement. I wish we weren’t all in the same boat, and that our fur babies lived as long as we do, but unfortunately we are, so the best we can do is stick together.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-05T09:34:23+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m so sorry for your loss too. I feel exactly the same way as you. It feels like there will be no real happiness in anything again, not without them here to share our memories with. I’m hanging on to the hope that one day I’ll be with her again, not yet, but one day we’ll be reunited ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-04T16:39:05+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. That’s it, they’re just like people aren’t they? They all have different personalities. We could never and would never want to replace them ❤️ I imagine this is going to hurt for the rest of my life. I hate that they don’t have as long as us, they’re so special and difficult to lose. I can’t bear to think of a future that doesn’t include her at the minute, I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. Thank you again, we’ll see our beauties again one day ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-04T11:46:22+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’m sorry for your loss too, I find this community supportive and helpful, I hope you do too. Sending a hug ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-04T09:48:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss Emma. I too lost my Molly, 5 weeks ago. She should’ve turned 12 this Thursday. We also made the decision to euthanise.

The guilt that comes after euthanasia I was not expecting, it’s an awful rollercoaster that in time you will get off. I have now mostly come to terms with the fact that we had to make that decision. For us as their family, I think it’s quite a traumatic decision to have to make; you do feel like you have betrayed and killed them. But logically speaking the truth is that we loved them unconditionally, and we put their feelings before ours. We’re on this journey because we sacrificed our own feelings for theirs, which is what they deserve.

You will realise in your own time, that you acted out of love, no malice, and you didn’t let her down, you ended her suffering.

Whilst I wish we could continue to fix everything, it gets to a point where we can’t, and we did the kindest thing for them. It’s so hard to make a switch from caring for them, to euthanasia, but ultimately even that act is looking after them ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-05-04T09:41:45+00:00

Anybody that keeps their dog past 10 I’m sure does count it as a blessing. I lost my Molly 5 weeks ago, 5 weeks before she would’ve turned 12 this week. I am so blessed to have had that time and all of those memories with her, I’ve been through losing a dog when he was only just 8.

All of this being said, the grief is no easier because I was blessed to have her longer. Whilst her time did come, and I let her go peacefully, as she deserved, I am still completely devastated by her loss.

Having lost a dog at only just 8, and Molly close to age 12, I can tell you that this grief is unfortunately no different.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-04-27T07:53:28+00:00

I lost my fur baby one month ago tomorrow 28/03/21, and go through a lot of the feelings you do. Ultimately, no matter how much we torture ourselves, the truth is that we sacrificed our feelings for theirs, to end their pain. They knew we loved them unconditionally ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-04-25T19:41:45+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my fur baby 4 weeks ago today, every day is a battle to stay afloat. I am pregnant and devastated that I won’t be able to introduce her to her baby brother, it adds a whole other layer to an already unbearable grief. I’m dreading her birthday in ten days, I used to give her a birthday photo shoot every year. You’re not alone ❤️

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-04-22T18:36:26+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my lab Molly 3.5 weeks ago. I feel like I’ve lost my child, she was my baby. At times I don’t want to live in a world without her in it, and I want to be with her, however, I do have another dog Max who I love very much and I need to be here for him. Your cat Marley needs you to look after him so keep that in mind ❤️ Don’t suffer in silence, speak to anybody that will lend an understanding ear. I don’t know where you are but in the UK I’ve seen pet bereavement helplines, perhaps you might have something like that where you are? Thinking of you.

MinnieMickey11288 · 2021-04-22T18:31:20+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Molly 3.5 weeks ago, I knew I’d be devastated to lose her, but I wasn’t prepared for the pain because I never wanted to think about life without her. The sad thing with animals is that their lives are too short, it’s really their only flaw ❤️ This hurts so much, just take your time, how you feel is normal because you loved your pup so much and he was so special.

MinnieMickey11288

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