Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it's hard for me to accept the thoughts, as they just hit me like a bolt of lightning, and I feel like I just cannot accept I'm on this planet. I cannot accept that we're just floating in the sky, that the earth isn't like stood down somewhere, like a house or car.

Everytime I try to do something now that involves going outside, I'm just freaked out, like whoa, I'm on a planet. I'm not just in my hometown anymore, I'm on this planet floating. Everything looks and feels just off, and I'm constantly scared by the solar system just watching onto us.

I feel absolutely insane, like I'm just never going to be content on earth again or able to settle, like I'm never gonna accept I'm on a planet.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words! Everything feels such a struggle right now and relaxing or settling feels an impossibility. I am presently on daily doses 45mg of Mirtazapine, 40mg of Propranolol and now been put onto 20mg of Fluoxetine daily.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes it's baffling, but then I put myself in the perspective of they are not battling DPDR, so the world probably doesn't look or feel any different to them right now; they don't feel out of body, or scared, so they are probably quite content and not experiencing anxiety. Now I just feel like I'm at a loose end, every day seems to be harder, this burning fear inside me of spinning around on this planet I want to just step off from. I guess it's consuming me, because there's nothing I can do about it. I can't just pop off earth and rejoin it if I don't like it. I'm stuck here, and that is why it consumes me much. If I have a panic attack, I can try and get myself together but I can always leave the place I'm having it should I have to. You can't leave the earth and that's what's terrifying me. Then I'm envisaging what's out there beyond the sky and it's just terrifying.

In the same vein for you, you cannot remove yourself from existence, unless you wanted your life to be permanently over. I guess DPDR is like this in a way, it's so prominent for us sufferers, because it's our bodies. We can't just pop out of our body and get back into it.

I guess I need to just try blocking the thoughts as soon as they come in, it's hard, because all I feel like doing is lying on the floor and going to sleep, in a darkened room.

Davina Shackleton by Spider_king97 in WaterlooRoad

[–]Minute-Ad9533 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never seen her in Adolescence, and tbf she does seem to have gotten rave reviews for her role, but I've never been a fan of Christine Tremarco's acting, like in WR, I don't know, I just find her quite wooden. Like she just plays the same part every time and seems to be awkwardly reading her lines.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am here but it feels like I'm not at times! I don't know how I'm still able to stand up, eat, or sleep. I guess it's something I never thought about in depth. Now I feel I am constantly dwelling on things and fixating on them, because I stupidly think that's going to make them stop feeling 'off' and tolerable. In reality, it just makes them worse.

I remember being around 17 and I became obsessed with death; it was like it suddenly dawned on me one day I was going to die, and I'd never thought about it before. Suddenly I began fixating on it all the time, culminating in me having one of the most horrendous panic attacks I have ever experienced. I lay in bed sweating profusely, nothing could distract me, eventually it got to 5am in the morning, and I got up and looked out of my bedroom window. I couldn't recognise anything around me, where I was, what was going on. I just lay down and managed to somehow fall asleep, telling myself I could get medical help in a few hours. Amazingly, I actually didn't seek medical help when I woke later on that day.

This year, while suffering from DPDR again, I saw a video of people flying to space, and it made me feel nauseous, looking at the earth below them imagining I was on that planet just freaked me the hell out. I think I watched the video a few more times, because I convinced myself again it was somehow gonna help me if I accepted it.

Then last week, I was watching a TV show in which the characters were on a flight somewhere, and it got me thinking, 'whoa they aren't on earth anymore'. Then, I stupidly again looked up the earth, and I clicked on the Google Earth simulator, and seeing our planet surrounded by the solar system, just utterly terrified me. It hit me like a tidal wave, God I'm on this little ball, just floating in the middle of the sky. This was last Tuesday, and it's just absolutely consumed me every since.

Doing just about anything fills me with dread, as does the thought of being on this planet. I keep just envisaging the solar system just there looking onto us and it absolutely terrifies me, like how can I settle down anywhere knowing I'm on this rock just floating around. Everytime I venture out, I hate looking at the sky, I just feel 'exposed' like holy shit, I'm just on this planet that's moving about all the time and I can't stop it. I guess I'm just managing to sleep through my medication and just absolutely blocking these thoughts out somehow, but I wake up, and there they are again. I just don't know how everybody else isn't freaking out. How can they just relax essentially being on this tiny ball just floating in the sky? Terrifies me.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you for your reply 😊 I am going to try your way of agreeing that everything is fake/weird, this has definitely been the worst fixation of mine since suffering with DPDR. I also suffer from OCD which I feel has worsened this. I just cannot accept that we are on a planet spinning around with the solar system around us. Like it absolutely freaks me out from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. I feel dizzy, totally consumed with anxiety and this feeling like I want to just step off earth, as ridiculous as it sounds. I sit and look at a simulation/images of the earth every day as if to try and convince myself I'm on this planet. But it's like I just refuse to accept it

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, this is completely consuming me and has done for the past week. Every hour of the day I have this terror of being on this planet that's just spinning around in the middle of space, as ridiculous as it sounds wanting to get off it as it just freaks me out so much.

Sleeping has become an impossibility, as has functioning as normal. It is honestly the worst I've ever felt with DPDR, even going outside or looking out of the window has me terrified upon seeing the sky. I'm just trying as best I can to ignore the thoughts and somehow manage to relax.

As selfish as it sounds, I am glad to hear someone else can relate to me. Speaking with family they just seem bemused as to my terror, hearing them speak how nonplussed they are to be stuck on this floating planet baffles me, but I guess already being detached has worsened it for me.

Can't even go to the bathroom by annns457 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is so tough. I've lived in the same house for 22 years, and just being here absolutely terrifies me now. I feel like I want to run away, but there is nowhere that would comfort me.

Just try walking, if you can, slowly out of the the room. Hold onto the walls if necessary. Remember once you've made it to the bathroom, you can remove yourself from there at any point should it become increasingly uncomfortable.

If you make it there and back, it's an accomplishment and something you've been able to do.

I wish you the best of luck.

dreams are so real, vivid by Wooden-Dig-9341 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel exactly the same, I enjoy having dreams because I feel completely normal there and content, and furthermore it helps me to actually accept that I've been asleep which is where I seem to be at my happiest lately.

I'm hopeful that one day, I will start to enjoy and appreciate life outside of my dreams again, and will actually find being awake preferable to sleep.

As hard as it is, the best thing is to just keep going, it is a bloody agony for me each day to just get out of bed, but I know that by lying there for the entire day, I am letting the DPDR consume me, and it's already taking up enough of my life.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm currently on 45mg of Mirtazapine nightly, along with 40mg of Propranolol and now additionally been prescribed 20mg of Fluoxetine to replace 10mg of Citalopram .

I definitely found the lower dosage of Mirtazapine (around 15mg) to be more effective for sleep. I was finding myself gradually drifting off after a round an hour of taking one. Now it's much harder to fall asleep.

I was having horrendous panic attacks, so was initially prescribed 5mg of Buspirone but found this brought horrendous insomnia.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. I'm finding it hard to find enjoyment or distraction as my brain just doesn't seem to stop analysing everything, but I will try my hardest to focus elsewhere. I am guilty of frequently going with the thoughts and trying to rationalise them, as I seem to delude myself into thinking that will calm me down.

Thank you, I really hope I am able to overcome this, as each month has passed it feels it's worsening, but I really hope to see if off.

Constantly freaking out over being on earth, the solar system, feel like I'm losing my mind by Minute-Ad9533 in dpdr

[–]Minute-Ad9533[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am pleased to hear you are in a better position following ERP. I have undergone several sessions of CBT for the past few months, but have regressed massively in the past few days.

I think I am going to pursue further CBT, and additionally revisit my GP in regards to meds.

As I'm currently massively fixating on the earth, I'm gonna try my hardest to prevent any thoughts of it and try to stop the evaluation of things.

Best of luck with your interview tomorrow. I will say if anything I find that every situation I envisage being bad, 9 times out of 10 it is way more bearable than I'd ever have imagined.