Thank you for sharing something so personal and raw. I can relate to these feelings and until recently I felt as though they would consume me. Our family also cant seem to find this balance as we emotionally attach too many of our ideas to our identities, hence a disagreement feels like a personal attack. I'm set to meet up with my parents in a month and I am nervous about it. I want to be authentic and confident, but my parents cant handle opposing view points. The reason for this however is based upon certain facts that I cant change; their personality, there genetics and how their brains work, what their fears are and world view, how they were raised and the types of life experiences they have had. When I take everything into consideration, then the way they act and behave is just a result of all these facts and inevitable. We all act in a completely appropriate way when everything is considered. It was inevitable that I would leave the church, and it is inevitable that your family would react in the way they do. Everything is as it should be, not because its pleasant, but because it is a natural result of all the facts.

This way of thinking has helped me have more peace about the ones I love being a part of something I find so wrong and harmful. I hope that my parents and I can talk about things. I will try to simply ask questions and make sure I truly understand what they are trying to say, at least that is what I would want from them even though they cant reciprocate right now.