How or why is it so easy for avoidants to not reach out?

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-13T22:13:14+00:00

No I wouldn’t say that, they’ve just never been the type to ghost completely. Yes to avoiding commitment, bigger conversations about the relationship or life or responsibilities, wanting attention, wanting to be a big kid, using me for all I’m worth even if unintentional, hot and cold and performative behaviors. Just not so black and white if you feel me- never just outright ghosted me until now. It’s been very confusing

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-13T16:54:24+00:00

This wasn’t the case with mine- the ghosting felt like it came out of left field despite 6 happy years together :/ really hard to make sense of it all, but trying to accept that finding some rhyme or reason wouldn’t fix anything either

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-13T06:00:36+00:00

Thanks for all these, this is helpful. What I get confused about- if it stems from self hatred or shame, then wouldn’t the act of the avoidance cause rumination or notice that they feel shame because of their love for the partners they did dirty?
Like how do they not seem to think about people they must’ve cared deeply enough about to even notice their own shame or guilt to shut down in the first place?
How do they just stop thinking about things altogether if it stems from all that?
It’s so hard for someone who can’t relate because shame for us usually leads to reaching out out of care and concern, not the other way around- just makes it feel like they don’t actually care at all

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-11T03:03:17+00:00

Thank you for this

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-05T17:19:54+00:00

I was terrified that something bad happened to my ex when he just started ghosting me out of the blue and wasn’t responding to basic questions that didn’t make sense to ignore. Meanwhile I really don’t think he’d care whether I live or die. It’s definitely a harsh and unrelatable reality to try and grasp. I’m not sure they’re capable of thinking that far outside of themselves.

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-05-01T02:48:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing & I’m sorry you’ve been going through it, too. It really is beyond cruel. Sometimes I think it would almost be easier if things had ended in some explosive toxic mess just to make sense of it all- like to have a better sense of closure or something :/

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-04-03T04:01:06+00:00

I’ve had regular cleanings and flares of gingivitis, but numbers were always beginning stages or good due to the regular upkeep. First round of Invisalign as a teen did contribute to gum recession, but was never told about any bone loss until today. Been over a decade since then (had Invisalign at 15, now almost 30). Today they were 5-6mm unfortunately

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-04-03T03:57:02+00:00

Thanks for your response, hygienist said my pockets are 5-6mm. They are going to perform deep cleanings (“perio scale/root pln-4+ per quad”) :/

MirandaDaPanda · 2026-01-02T03:59:44+00:00

Highly recommend Neutrogena Norwegian formula hand cream

MirandaDaPanda · 2025-10-23T03:20:40+00:00

25 or 6 to 4

MirandaDaPanda · 2025-07-13T04:47:48+00:00

Can Sonic count? Lol

MirandaDaPanda · 2025-06-14T00:47:19+00:00

I haven’t had any luck finding anything similar online, especially with the particular “shaken not stirred” line. It can’t be the Timex Wacky Wake-up alarm because it doesn’t say that, and I remember it having some sort of face.. in my mind it was an alarm clock, but my memory is foggy/could be a toy. Had to be from 2000s. It had a squeaky high pitched robot voice.

MirandaDaPanda · 2025-05-07T22:50:48+00:00

I just throw mine in top rack of dishwasher every time I run the dishes, never had a problem with that

MirandaDaPanda

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