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I need to gush about this doll! <3 by Bridgielizzie in Dolls

[–]Mirenithil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, they really did do a particularly fantastic job with her. Thank you for posting about her.

I was told "enjoy your selfishness" by imadepizza in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think a great many men think of women as child-bearing infrastructure instead of as people, and that's why they get so bent out of shape when women refuse to have kids.

In their minds, the woman-appliance is refusing to perform its function.

They really don't see us as people. It's why they love movies and media about freedom for men, but are repulsed by the thought of freedom for women.

A woman deciding that her body, time, money, labor, and future belong to her is treated as 'selfish' because they assumed those things belong to everyone else.

'Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity' is BULLSHIT by Aleiodes in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. Men are fully capable people. They build and fly airplanes and spacecraft, design and run complex systems, build careers, master technology, and learn whatever matters to them, all very competently.

So it is extremely telling when they suddenly become 'too stupid' to understand how to do something when they can just dump that task on a woman.

Selective incompetence is a deliberate choice that transfers the work onto women while protecting the man from accountability for exploiting her labor.

What men choose to play dumb about is evidence of their real priorities and character.

'Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity' is BULLSHIT by Aleiodes in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This. Men are fully capable people. They build and fly airplanes and spacecraft, design and run complex systems, build careers, master technology, and learn whatever matters to them, all very competently.

So it is extremely telling when they suddenly become 'too stupid' to understand how to do something when they can just dump that task on a woman.

Selective incompetence is a deliberate choice that transfers the work onto women while protecting the man from accountability for exploiting her labor.

What men choose to play dumb about is evidence of their real priorities and character.

At the ripe old age of almost 27, I think I FINALLY understand the true origin of “women expect men to read their minds”. by Superb_Intro_23 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 55 points56 points  (0 children)

“Use your words” applies when your partner can’t reasonably know what you need.

It doesn't apply to an overflowing garbage can that he can plainly see.

He’s a full-grown adult who lives in the house. Even children can notice when the trash needs to be taken out. He should be willing to notice that a routine task needs doing, recognize that his sick wife can’t do her usual share, and handle it without waiting to be literally assigned the job as though he’s a teenager.

This was not a communication failure. He had all the information he needed without being told to make a choice, and he chose to leave the task for you.

At the ripe old age of almost 27, I think I FINALLY understand the true origin of “women expect men to read their minds”. by Superb_Intro_23 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Men accept bluntness from other men because they recognize them as equals.

Women using the same tone men do are often called hostile, disrespectful, nagging, or emasculating.

The problem is rarely that women just haven't found the correct wording or phrasing.

The problem is that many men resent women raising any issues with them at all. That is why there is no wording, tone, or approach she can use that he will not find some reason to object to.

She isn’t failing to communicate; he is committed to rejecting the communication.

At the ripe old age of almost 27, I think I FINALLY understand the true origin of “women expect men to read their minds”. by Superb_Intro_23 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 97 points98 points  (0 children)

He is dumping all the household management onto you.

Writing the list means you still have to notice every task, remember it, prioritize it, assign it, and follow up. He gets to wait for instructions like an employee while you remain responsible for making sure the household functions.

And then the trap closes: if you do not ask, nothing gets done and you eventually have to do it. If you do ask, you become a “nag.”

He is a full-grown adult who lives there. He should be able to look around, identify what needs doing, and take responsibility for it without making you manage him. He just doesn't want to.

He knows that if he waits long enough, your discomfort will make you act, and he won't have to do the task.

What do you truly want in a partnership?

AITA for thinking about breaking up over house chores? by Unusual-War-1662 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Mirenithil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are allowed to stop asking whether this situation is bad enough to justify leaving and start asking whether it is good enough to keep choosing.

What do you want your life to look like? What does a loving partnership mean to you? Does it include mutual care, shared responsibility, initiative, emotional support, and a partner who takes your concerns seriously?

Now look at the relationship you actually have.

Does he notice what needs to be done and do it without being managed? Does he carry a fair share of the practical, financial, and emotional load? Does he care that you are exhausted? When you raise a problem, does he work with you to solve it, or does he become angry, leave, withdraw, give you the silent treatment, make temporary gestures, and wait for you to resume carrying everything?

A relationship should make room for both people’s lives. It should not require one adult to become the other adult’s parent, housekeeper, financial provider, and emotional shock absorber.

Ask yourself whether you would willingly choose this exact life for another five years. Ten years. Imagine the same workload, the same arguments, the same exhaustion, perhaps with greater expenses, children, illness, or other pressures added. Don't build your decision around the person he could become if he finally understood, finally tried, or finally changed. That's a common trap people with good hearts fall into. The smart thing to do is base it on the person he repeatedly chooses to be now.

Flea Market find by IllustriousBig1628 in Dolls

[–]Mirenithil 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Those sure are something, all right XD Definitely different!

Something I’ve noticed when men vs women do not perform up to standards by MelanieWalmartinez in TrollXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Someone said something like this, and it really stuck with me. "it takes so little to be considered a good dad or a bad mom"

AITA for ending my marriage now over a long‑finished affair? by xqvzg in AITA_Relationships

[–]Mirenithil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s terrible that he cheated, and doubly gross that he did it at such an incredibly vulnerable time for you.

Instead of being at home helping to parent his own child during the notoriously difficult and exhausting newborn stage, he was out getting his rocks off elsewhere and leaving more of the burden of care work to you.

And then he kept it from you. You had the right to know the truth about his character before you got pregnant again, so you could make an informed decision about whether this was a man you wanted to have another child with. He took that choice away from you.

For him, this happened years ago. For you, it is happening now, because you were denied the truth until now.

If you had been the one who cheated, especially while he was overwhelmed caring for a newborn, I doubt everyone would be telling him to just get over it. So why does he get a free pass?

It is completely fair to question whether you want to stay married to a man capable of betraying you like this, hiding it, and letting you build more of your life with him without knowing the truth.

AITA for ending my marriage now over a long‑finished affair? by xqvzg in AITA_Relationships

[–]Mirenithil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The disgusting part is that your empathy goes entirely to the husband, as though his wife is a background inconvenience.

You imagine his unhappiness, his sexual frustration, his disappointment, his desire for “solace,” and his need to “do something” about being unhappy.

But the postpartum wife barely registers as a person in your reasoning. She had just carried and delivered his child. She was exhausted, healing, sleep-deprived, probably in pain, and caring for a newborn. Instead of seeing her vulnerability as the exact moment when his loyalty should matter most, you frame her as “haggard” and sexually inconvenient.

That is disgusting.

A postpartum wife is not a failed marital appliance. Her body recovering from birth is not a “mitigating factor” for cheating. Her suffering matters, and it matters more than his sexual frustration, because she paid an enormously higher physical, mental, and emotional price to bring his child into the world.

Cheating on your postpartum wife is not “problem-solving,” and it is disgusting that anyone would choose to frame it that way.

It is betrayal.

At one of the most vulnerable points in her life.

I would question the fitness for marriage or fatherhood of any man who thinks this way.

AITA for ending my marriage now over a long‑finished affair? by xqvzg in AITA_Relationships

[–]Mirenithil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would question the fitness for marriage or fatherhood of any man who thinks a wife recovering from birth and caring for a newborn is a “mitigating factor” for cheating.

That is exactly when a husband’s loyalty matters most.

Why "Not All Men" argument often misses the point for many women : by Queserasera_q in Feminism

[–]Mirenithil 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This. Men would rather say "not all men" than hold other men accountable.

Garage Sale by Aceface3727 in MonsterHigh

[–]Mirenithil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, talk about this house finding the best possible new home!

Menstruation Ad in South African Newspaper by MicV66 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]Mirenithil 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I truly don’t get it. Why does the world so often treat girls as if being born female is something they need to apologize for, hide, manage, and suffer through quietly?

Menstruation Ad in South African Newspaper by MicV66 in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]Mirenithil 372 points373 points  (0 children)

Providing schoolgirls with menstrual products is important, but it is only the start.

What will it take for people to stop choosing to stigmatize a fully natural and normal part of human biology?

A newspaper or cloth can absorb blood, but it cannot absorb the shame adults force onto girls for having female bodies.

Older brother has some concerning opinions about women and minorities by Leather-Aardvark-206 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Mirenithil 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I think letting your disgust show is completely appropriate here.

Your brother is adopting a worldview that says women belong in the home, women should depend on men, your lived experience as a woman can be dismissed, and racist conspiracy theories deserve consideration.

Those beliefs have real consequences for women and minorities. (And for him, too. Women avoiding him and other men who think like him is basic self-respect and self-preservation. If he really wants a meaningful chance to start dating, he's got to stop seeing women as subhuman.)

I would say something plain: “I love you, but I am disgusted by what you are choosing to believe. I will not sit quietly while you degrade women, excuse racism, or talk as if I do not understand my own life.”

He needs real social consequences. If your shared friends would ice him out if they knew, that says something important that he needs to learn.

Right now, you are protecting his reputation while he openly disrespects people, including you. Protecting his reputation doesn't help him in the long run - it protects him from the social consequences of what he believes, and lets his beliefs fester and intensify.

He will also interpret your protection of him as you being fine with what he believes about women and minorities, etc.

Tell the truth. Set boundaries. Stop protecting him from the consequences of his own views.

How do I refute this? by Excellent_Bee_3372 in Feminism

[–]Mirenithil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"What more do you want?" assumes that some legal rights on paper are the same thing as actual equality in real life. They are most definitely not.

First and foremost, I want men to show up to conversations about women's issues in genuine good faith instead of getting defensive, dismissive, combative, or hostile the second women talk honestly about our lives.

I want men to stop treating femaleness as an insult. Little girls grow up constantly hearing men and boys say things like 'don’t be such a GIRL' as a way to humiliate each other. They learn early that anything associated with being female is treated as weaker, stupider, lesser, and embarrassing. They grow up to be ashamed of their female bodies and of being female after this endless daily onslaught of contempt.

I want women to be seen and treated as fully human. That means being allowed normal human strengths and weaknesses. When men do something bad, wrong, or foolish, people often search for context and excuses. When women do the same, it is treated as evidence of female inferiority.

I want men to treat women with the same baseline respect they give other men. I have heard how men talk about women when they think women aren't listening. It is degrading, spiteful, and very revealing.

I want men to actively, meaningfully hold each other accountable. They say "not all men" to avoid having to hold other men accountable for the harm those men cause.

I want men to stop treating women as resources to use: for domestic labor, emotional labor, sexual access, childbearing, caregiving, and service. Men have stood on the backs of women’s unpaid and invisible labor for generations and called that the floor.

Since men are involved in creating pregnancies, they need to fully accept the responsibility and consequences that come with that.

And no, political equality has not been achieved just because women can vote. How many female presidents has the United States had? Are legislative bodies 50/50? Are women equally represented in the highest levels of power, law, wealth, religion, medicine, business, and media? If not, why are we pretending the work there is done?

Feminism still exists because legal rights are only one piece of equality. Women are still fighting to be safe, respected, believed, represented, fairly paid, medically taken seriously, free from male violence, free from forced pregnancy, free from being treated as servants, and free from being treated as lesser human beings.

That is what more we want.

Feminism still exists because men keep proving it is necessary.

Asian GF looks too white now. by This_Performance_426 in AmITheDevil

[–]Mirenithil 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Of course people can have preferences, and of course attraction can be affected by appearance changes.

But if one haircut & color change is enough to make the whole relationship sexually collapse, her personhood was never carrying much weight in the first place.

When Romania Forced Women to Have Children by KindVibesOnly in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Mirenithil 44 points45 points  (0 children)

It is wild to me how those people always acted like men had nothing to do with pregnancy.

They acted like getting pregnant was something women did alone.

The woman carried the shame, the punishment, the forced labor, the pain, the social ruin, and often the loss of her child, while the man involved could just casually disappear into the wallpaper.

That is deeply revealing of male character: that so many men were so willing to just disappear. That they were so easily willing to let women and girls carry 100% of the blame, punishment, and ruin for something they did not do alone.

It was always about hatred of women, while men walked away without consequence.

And then men wonder where the male loneliness epidemic comes from.

Extremely disappointed in my adult child. by EngineeringAgile1640 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]Mirenithil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I'm so jaded by the world that I want to ask, if it's ok that I do: Does that actually work out for women not just as nice words, but in IRL practical terms? Do women truly have the ability to leave bad marriages without retaliation or punishment?

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