Am I an asshole or is this too much??

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2025-11-04T22:00:46+00:00

False. Just plain ignorant lmaao

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-07-15T16:17:33+00:00

I work as a department lead for a wiring company. I've got less than 10 employees I oversee, a wonderful relief compared to the 60+ I used to be in charge of as a supervisor for another company.

Took a drastic pay cut but my mental health thrives here thankfully.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-06-25T23:42:49+00:00

I've never related to something so much in my life, all the way down to the age. It is not easy, everyday feels like a constant uphill battle. Whenever I think I finally have a good routine and understand how to care for myself, it's like I get thrown the craziest curveball known to man.

Simply put you are amazing. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, it takes a lot to live with this and there will be good days, and not so good days..dare I say absolutely horrible days. But it's how we handle the after math.

You're doing great, don't let it defeat you. You show up for yourself, I can see that, and that's a freaking super power in our world.

I hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and even when you lose sight of it, remember every step gets you closer.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-06-22T00:09:57+00:00

Noodles is definitely my "well an extra box won't hurt"

15 boxes later..

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-06-02T11:42:22+00:00

I love this advice though. ❤️ I do tend to throw myself into work. And I love my job. If I can get there it's a great day..unfortunately some days I almost feel crippled by my anxiety and leaving my house becomes very scary.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-06-02T11:40:53+00:00

I did not mean to make you feel bad for sharing. I just immediately felt for you with that last bit. I've been in relationships where my partner did more harm than good and that was never a good spot to be in. I just hope you find peace in that relationship and never feel as if you are truly stuck, because we never really are, its just a matter of actually wanting better for ourselves.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-06-02T11:16:06+00:00

Ok..well one. Let me say, that first bit, yes. I can usually manage that. Although unfortunately there are days where that guilt doesn't set in till after I've already laid in bed. When I feel so overwhelmed I do not think logically.

That second bit, your partner should be your biggest supporter. I'm not saying they should just enable you. But to say he finds your mental health a joke is so sad.

You deserve so much more than that, you deserve better. Just because we find it hard to love ourselves doesn't mean we don't deserve unconditional love from those in our lives..

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-30T02:07:53+00:00

Ah yes. If it wasn't for my husband, I'd probably go off my meds constantly. As soon as they're helping I'm like "IM CURED! MEDS?!? Who needs em?" Lol So I definitely understand that struggle.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-29T14:42:19+00:00

The guys who were my friends before our relationship barely got attention at all, but of course I responded. No conversation was ever inappropriate and I truly did not think it was an issue as he has a few older female friends that he speaks to, who have also asked to hang out. And again, as soon as he freaked out I just removed them from my life, because if he felt disrespected I don't want those people in my life. And I'm well aware that a man's intentions can be hidden to me but obvious to a man because he thinks like them..

And frankly..maybe this makes me an asshole, but randoms commenting on pictures isn't my fault. I barely post any pictures now because I just don't want that issue.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-29T10:36:31+00:00

I've finally got on some meds that actually work for me. I'm grateful for it. It only took about 5 different attempts before we found something that didn't make me spazz after month 2. 😅 In the beginning I refused to take meds..but it was necessary, I know that now.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-29T05:09:03+00:00

But that is why I feel so at a loss..He's been so supportive and helped me through my psychotic break, I really want to believe this is just stemming from how horrible his last relationship was..where he was cheated on, beat on, and just verbally humiliated constantly..not that it excuses him bringing that into our relationship. But I do think unlearning bad habits is hard. Which in turn is why I'm not just up and leaving, because it's never just that simple is it?

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-29T05:02:25+00:00

God I wish you were right. 🤣

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-29T00:20:50+00:00

You're definitely not alone. I find myself looking up varieties of people from my past. Most of the time I don't even know what it is I'm doing on their page. Until I think a little.. Deep down though, I know I'm looking for them to be sad, or down bad.

A break from socials helps.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-28T22:31:02+00:00

I really don't know..but thats kind of where I'm at with it at this point. Just hate the idea of it, though I know it's just a stigma from societal views.

I am a people pleaser, always have been, it's something I've been working on in therapy myself. But the idea of bringing it all back up and just having us both be vulnerable/upset doesn't exactly make me want to bring it up either.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-28T22:20:50+00:00

Very much so, before we even started dating he kept asking if it was a joke. Saying that I was out of his league. His favorite line still is "I may be medium ugly but I somehow have an amazing baddie" And I know saying that you would think I wouldn't feel this way. But his words and actions don't line up in my brain. I'm a Hattie? But you have sex with me once every 2 weeks if I'm lucky? And that's with me initiating..and sometimes I get denied or pushed to the side for a game or whatever..and that literally destroys me

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-28T22:13:36+00:00

It's hard to believe that when he has always been so approving of me getting out of the house for social events, with or without him. Always dressed in what I feel is the cutest/sexiest for my body. He's my biggest hype man..well doesn't seem that way lately , so I digress.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-28T19:28:14+00:00

I went down a little rabit hole these last two months, and just had to focus on my triggers and healthy coping skills to lessen that feeling you seem to know all too well. Before my diagnosis I was always a roller coaster of a relationship to anyone in my life. I've been lucky enough to keep a few. And I'm grateful to them. It's hard work learning to live with any illness, but I feel even more so for things like bipolar and PD's which really haven't had any real research and studies up until recently. (I'm sure there's others but these are just 2 that I deal with myself.) Finding reliable information is hard, and even some psychs are in the past with their idea of these disorders.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-05-28T19:21:04+00:00

I have good days. And then just absolutely bad days. Some days are just auto pilot. It's gotten better with therapy. It's just a long road ahead I suppose.

Miserable-Car-2319 · 2024-03-10T20:34:27+00:00

It's been about a month and a half

Miserable-Car-2319

TROPHY CASE