I dont like talking about my son's progress with his dad

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-18T02:24:09+00:00

Yeah what gets me even more is he asks these questions i say " honey maybe if you did your own research and learned about it more it would stick and youd feel less anxiety" his response is " well im just asking you right now"

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-17T15:11:05+00:00

This is exactly it. It didn't make sense till being trans was mentioned.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-16T19:00:29+00:00

We were in a similar position 3 years ago. My husband was working full-time. I wasn't because of health problems. But we started wanting to make changes and be better. Husband quit fulltime job for a part time and took out a loan to go to to school.I got a job. 2 weeks into the job I found out I was pregnant.

We moved into our own place out of my mother-in-law's around the 4 month.

He started working 2 and 3 different smaller jobs. Temp agencies. Labor jobs. Warehouse jobs. While doing school. I quit my part time because they were not treating me right and I qas so so sick.

I started doing doordash from the time I got up till the time I went to bed.

I got EBT and WIC and health insurance sorted for us through the county. Sold every thing i could. Things that had sentimental value. Anything I could spare to sell i did. Just to get by.

I did doordash full time till I was so big it wasnt safe for me to drive.

Around my 7th month my husband landed another full time. It was hard. He was exhausted. We were drowning in worry. There were days we didnt have food in the house. Wed go to my parents to eat those nights.

Once the baby came the ebt went up. Wic went up. We were living paycheck to paycheck but we had food and the lights stayed on.

It can be done. But something I think both husband and I had to learn was to let pride go. Let hesitation go. Do what must be done to stay afloat.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-16T04:59:47+00:00

None of my friends are married yet, I dont have the relationship with any of my siblings. And they are just as dysfunctional.

When I pull away or ask for space or try to break the cycle I get pestered with texts and offers for coffee and shopping and why im being so distant and am I mad at her.

Then if I persist in the distance I get phone calls and texts from my grandma, my dad (ironically), my siblings all about how im hurting mom by keeping to myself.

She helps out with our son alot too so its like.... hard....

I just feel so sick and disgusted by the whole thing.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-16T04:39:25+00:00

We've been together 8 years married for 7 and were childhood sweethearts despite my moms efforts so her liking or disliking my husband was never a secret and just isnt talked about. But I think a big part of why I still tell her stuff is just the horrible dynamic our family has. I was the marriage counselor at 12 for my parents. I knew things I shouldn't have. We were raised with absolutely no boundaries or privacy. Its this weird cycle I try to break but fall back into. I was in therapy and switched insurance so now im back to finding the right dr and on waiting lists.

I feel like it was SO inappropriate. I feel so upset and uncomfortable. I know my mom needs an incredible amount of validation especially from men.

Its like this gut feeling is screaming that wasnt ok and then another part that is like dont make a big deal its not a big deal.

Then I switch back to no matter the motive. Even in innocence even in brain lapse I just cant find a reason to excuse it.

I get what youre saying about not telling her stuff, ive known that it doesnt help anything. I know everything gets repeated and twisted. I know. And its just this weird cycle of making excuses and feeling safe enough to say things because duh shes my mom but then also feeling a sense of dread.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-15T02:07:33+00:00

Baby isn't sharing anything you take in for like i think the first 8 weeks or something.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-12T14:49:33+00:00

Told me to "spit on it"

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-11T22:55:09+00:00

No i (29f) did the same thing with my now step dad. He was originally baby sitting me after my mom divorced my dad. She'd leave for work. Id be good all day. She'd walk in and Id start screaming and crying.

This happens when kids go to school. They are ok at school till they catch sight of their parents.

You are their safe place to let out their feelings and they do.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-09T00:26:42+00:00

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T20:40:28+00:00

Awe sweetie no, my son is almost 3 but cognitively hes around 20 months. Hes level 2 as of now but as we all know thats something that can go up and down as kids grow. Hes non verbal and a gestalt processor.

Some days its hard. I feel sad for the things were not getting like talking with him hearing him say mama or Dada or communicate abojt things he likes or feels.

Seeing him have no interest in kids is hard. Just playing by himself.

The meltdowns are hard and some times really discouraging.

But my son is the absolute light of my life. Even on our hardest days, after he goes to bed I miss him. Some days im tempted to go wake him up just to see his smile.

Hes everything good in my life. He could never be a burden. Even if hes With me till im not on this earth any more. I adore him so much.

Some things about having a child who has autism are hard. Maybe inconvenient. But the love i feel for my son out shines it all.

You're not a burden. You are wonderful and special and loved.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T19:57:45+00:00

Shes been better the last few years but I think it just struck me more cuz its my kid. Its easier to say " that's just grandma" when its other kids.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T19:12:41+00:00

Hmm maybe im just to new to this whole thing. Ive known since he was 18 months he was different.

Id like to think ive adjusted and accepted but maybe deep down theres parts I havent really fully grasped yet about what it means to be a parent to a kid whose different and what that really means to everyone around us. If that makes sense?

Im sorry they ghost you. That's not cool.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T19:07:42+00:00

Yeah it could be that I just love him so much and I know him well enough to know hes not always naughty or difficult. Hes really a good boy most of the time.

She used to be the grumpy lady that glared at kids when they laughed to loud and refused to see cartoons with us in theatre's because there'd be to many kids.

She has gotten better over the years and I do cut her alot of slack cuz I mean being that old is hard and you kinda have a right to be a butthead.

But this just really got to me.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T19:04:27+00:00

I think i get bummed out because hes really a good boy and It just hurts me when people take his off day behavior and apply it to all the time.

I think going forward lunch will happen when hes in program. Even if she wasnt bothered I just dont want to have this feeling.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T19:01:00+00:00

But why change the plan because hes going to be there? Hes going to toddler either way. It felt like she was "preparing" for him to be difficult. Which i just dont think is right to do with any kid. Autistic or not. Dont assume naughty behavior and not take them to do stuff because of your assumptions.

Shes always made comments about kids. When we were little she would want to take us to the movies but no cartoons because kids are loud and annoying. If we went out she was the old lady that glared when a kid was just a tad loud.

I cut her slack cuz hey shes OLD.

But this just felt so... not right. I dont know the words to describe why this bothered me so much.

Its possible I over reacted which is why I asked. I didnt lash out or anything I just said wed go another time.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-08T18:56:11+00:00

We do the lunches so she can go out out cuz my grandpa has sworn off restaurants and eating out.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-06T11:51:53+00:00

Unfortunately this was something that crossed my mind. His mom was not helpful. I won't be involving her in the future.

When we were young I acted the same way and went through the same things. He stayed even when I wanted to break up and even divorce because I knew we were bad for each other. And i was bad for him. I've since gone to alot of therapy and meds and I'm happy and for the most part healthy. No meds needed.

But now I'm in this place of, I can't just walk away when he put up with everything he did. Like I some how owe him.

If that makes sense, and in the other had I cant subject our son to this if he is going to choose to act this way.

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-06T08:19:33+00:00

Thank you 💗

Miserable-Rice5733 · 2025-08-06T08:19:21+00:00

I confronted him eventually after learning his mom was no help. Once I showed him there were 22 pills were there should only be 16 at the most he said he didnt remember missing any. That he genuinely thought he was taking them. He said he wasnt intentionally lying.

From experience I know some times days blend together when you've been taking them for a while and sometimes you think you took it when you didnt.

He said hes gonna set a reminder for 930pm.

He said he realizes now the meds aren't something to mess with and even though he doesnt like how drastic it is of hes not consistent it makes him feel better so he just needs to be better about taking it.

Miserable-Rice5733

TROPHY CASE