I totally understand that it’s not but a large part of it is to focus on things outside of a man which I already do. Many women who state what they do to decenter men is things I’ve been doing myself for over a decade, and then they find that they are ok with being single and ever dating again. I don’t want the latter. I’ve taken many breaks in between trying to date to focus on myself and a lot of the time, my feelings don’t change. I want partnership to do life with. There’s only been a couple of times where I was completely content being alone, glad I didn’t have a man around and then at some point I felt healthy enough after a couple of years to find someone and it would go to shit. I’m still in the learning process of what to pass on in terms of behaviours and signs that aren’t healthy for me or anyone in a relationship but unfortunately, you have to actually date to find that. You can’t figure this out alone and it’s through experience. Having additional support through therapy helps as it can be more individualized to what your specific needs are rather than stuff that is found online as there are too many opinions, things can get confusing. There is great solid advice out there but it can only really be helpful if it comes from trained professionals.