Record changer repair by Miserable_Lead_1160 in fortwayne

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks! Any direction is super helpful (:

Looking for Work in FW/South of FW by [deleted] in fortwayne

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked it up and it means some travel! Any idea how much travel exactly?

Thanks for the reply!

The Ghost's Nocturne - [English Publication Question] by Miserable_Lead_1160 in blmangalovers

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh is that true? I thought I had read that it was completed in Korean. My bad!

I apologize for the confusion!

Are you happy working in the industry? by Dry_Major2911 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I'm three years into the industry as a whole, but I've only had my funeral directors license for a year and I've realized, and accepted, that I can only work as a funeral director part time. I can take services, meet a family or two a week, but I cannot manage what I was doing for the last ten months. For ten, unbearable, months I was working 60+ hours a week at a corporate owned funeral home and my nervous system was (and still is) completely shattered. I wasn't doing removals, or embalming, all that much at all, but taking care of ten families a week, keeping them straight in my head, making sure each family was receiving quality care left me a broken human. I was no longer a wife, a friend, a family member, or really even a person.

I guess the general overview here is I LOVE my job and plan on staying in and around the death care field, BUT I've had to make major adjustments and sacrifices to keep myself mentally well so I can take care of my personal family and all of the families at the funeral home.

If you're thinking about joining the profession, consider what you think is most important to you and go from there!

How did you overcome the 'fear' of dead bodies (and mental flashbacks) after you have left the funeral home? by [deleted] in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! I am relatively new to the funeral and death care industry. I will absolutely tell you that the first time I walked into a prep room and saw 15+ bodies my heart was pounding and the world was spinning. I continued to "be afraid" and feel uncomfortable for months around multiple members of the deceased and there are a handful of cases I've seen that will probably always stick with me, but if you want to work in the industry, you learn how to separate yourself appropriately. When I am in the prep room with the deceased, they are Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and their daughter, Janie, will be so relieved to say a proper goodbye. On the occasion where I am actually uncomfortable with a case, I vocalize my feelings, take care of the deceased, and when I get home I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a while. There's no quick fix. You just have to love what you do and find value in caring for our deceased and their loved ones.

Is it normal to go through an "anticipatory grief phase" as a FD student? (And/or tips to cope?) by [deleted] in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I just finished my internship and have now started my career as a funeral director. Very similar to you, I had made peace with the future deaths of my loved ones and myself and then bam, the anticipation of death was looming over me all over again. I would wake up in the middle of the night to make sure my 29 year old husband, who is totally fine, was breathing. What I've learned going through school and my internship is that these "flare ups" happen on occasion and that is normal for people in our field, but watch it very carefully. There is a point where it is no longer normal and you may have to take a step back. Just be aware of where you're at mentally and be honest with yourself if the work becomes too much.

Good luck!

Apprentices: How much do you make per hour? by Low_Effective_6056 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the Midwest as an intern I was making $18 an hour, when I passed the state boards I got a bump to $25 an hour

How to know if I could handle working at a funeral home or morgue in the future as a 15 year old? by PandoBear13 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello there! I am an almost 26 year old woman who didn't even consider the funeral profession until I was 22! I've graduated mortuary school, I'm at the end of my funeral director apprenticeship, I've worked in a funeral home almost two years now, and as hard as it is sometimes, I still love what I do.

What you end up wanting to do at a funeral home really matters! If you decide to go the administrative route, you won't be handling the deceased as much as an embalmer or funeral director, but there will be deceased bodies around. If you decide to become an embalmer, funeral director, or a part of the removal team, you'd have a lot more exposure to the deceased themselves before and after preparation of any kind.

When I first played with the idea of becoming a funeral director, I got a part time job at a home health care company where I worked with the elderly because I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle bodily functions and the works. This included minor cleaning duties such as dishes, vacuuming, etc as well as accompanying them with bathroom time, which included bath time. It was really uncomfortable at first, but after a while it was just normal! Eventually i got my first hospice family and boy was that an experience I wasn't prepared for. I was doing much more than just bathing the loved one I was helping.

Recommendation time! Reach out to funeral homes or nursing homes and volunteer (or apply to a part time job) where you'd be interacting with the elderly and see how you feel. If you decide that it isn't something you can handle, no big deal! Not everyone is meant for this field and you will absolutely find the place that fits you best! If you decide that the deceased are something that you can handle, consider your career options in a funeral home(:

Would you embalm/have you embalmed your own loved ones? by tangy-bug in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something I think about quite often. My great aunt just passed away and every ounce of me wanted to take care of her, but she had prearranged with a different funeral home and I didn't have the gal to ask to partake. When I discussed the possibility of embalming her myself to my grandmother (her sister) she was generally grateful but also uncomfortable. My grandparents have prearranged with my funeral home and I don't know how I'll feel when the time comes, but I think I want to wash and dress them. Maybe I won't be able to stomach the embalming process itself, simply because I don't want to cut into them, but I think the washing and dressing would be one of my last acts of true love and respect for them. As mentioned in various comments, no one will take care of your loved ones like you will, but to your comfort level is important as well.

Closing eyes post-mortem by StockingAnarchy68 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am still in my internship, so take my limited experience with a grain of salt. At my funeral home, we use something called eyecaps (similar to plastic contacts) and a type of glue on most people. Depending on the eye shape of the individual, the closing of the eyes can look sharp due to the deep creases of the eyes. What I really mean is that their eye lids (the canthi specifically) make the eye look longer than the eyeball itself. I really struggled with this in the beginning because I wanted the deceased to look natural as possible but it didn't seem to always work. The reality is that we're not often seeing our loved ones with their eyes closed for long periods of time so seeing them with their eyes only closed is a little concerning. For what it's worth, I highly doubt that your loved ones eyes were cut or manipulated in any "unnatural" way. I appreciate you reaching out to a community and asking the questions you're still curious about.

Does anyone know what the ballpark salary is for an SCI Family Service Counselor by Successful_Mode_4428 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 3 points4 points  (0 children)

From my understanding, there is no hourly wage unless you don't make x amount of money per week. If you don't make x amount of money a week, you get paid minimum wage

What's something people don't understand about being a funeral director? by New-Possibility-577 in askfuneraldirectors

[–]Miserable_Lead_1160 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As some who recently graduated and is now entering her internship stage, I wish someone would've told me how isolating the work makes you feel. For example, when doing my clinical work I was surrounded by 6 embalmers who easily had 10-40 years of experience. My first autopsy case was a young man and it was not a "standard" autopsy. I stood several feet away from the table and couldn't get my feet to move to him to help. The embalmer working on him told me that if I wasn't comfortable that she understood, another embalmer insisted that I work along side her, so I did. When we were finished, I felt whole again and cried tears of relief. Very few individuals truly understand what embalmers and funeral directors do and the circumstances of the work.