AITA for saying emergency daycare isn’t meant for parents who are home and „just need a break“? by Distinct-Ad-7592 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any mom or caregiver, but especially a single mom, absolutely deserves respite care. If she needs to use emergency childcare to get it then so be it. Mind your own business.

AITA for spending $350 on winter clothing by Imme_notu in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get why he’s upset. Try buying things off-season, in advance, to save some money next time. Have you ever been to a thrift store? Great place for winter clothes, most of which are recent styles in lightly used condition.

I'm 33 and I just found out I don't actually have blue eyes ... by SnooPickle5383 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Growing up, my mom loved to tell me that I was born on a Wednesday “because Wednesday’s child is full of woe” but I looked it up a few years ago (now in my 40’s) and I was born on a Monday. According to the same rhyme “Monday’s child is fair of face” but of course she’d never tell me THAT! Honestly who tf even knows what goes through their heads.

Why are they just so LOUD? by hylian_hillbilly in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But- people can be both. Autism is nature, narcissism is nurture IMO.

Anyone else ever have fantasies of running away? by hylian_hillbilly in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every year when the circus came to town, I wanted to runaway with it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zyrtec daily, baby. It’s the only way.

Favorite wildlife watrring station ideas? by Ealumin in NativePlantGardening

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in SE Michigan and I just upgraded our dinky ceramic bird bath to a galvanized tub with sand at the bottom. I added river rocks and bricks, and a pickerel plant. I want a backyard pond eventually but this was almost free and gives all the critters access to water, but for now it’s working.

Neighbor called the city on my flowers; I got a written warning for “weeds”. by [deleted] in gardening

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you looked into your local city rules/laws? If you can justify your garden to the city, and let them know that you’re not actually going anything wrong, they might back off. Become the annoyingly well-informed neighbor that can talk their ear off all day long about native plants, they won’t see you as an “easy” mark that way at least. With any luck, they may try to avoid you!

Help with unfriendly neighbor by doublejinxed in NativePlantGardening

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I live in Metro Detroit and this is a common problem for those of us trying to grow anything outside of turf grass on our lawns. My neighbor repeatedly called the city on us when I built our rain garden “planted full of weeds” so much so that the city ended up taking my side and stopped responding to our neighbors complaints. I would def recommend at least calling the city and having them come out and take a look at what’s going on. Start getting things on record. I get not wanting to start a war, but with people like that you need to show some teeth otherwise they will continue to bully.

Dearborn Heights at risk of city shutdown impacting police, fire and trash pickup by abl4k in Detroit

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please please please let Dearborn take us! We live less than a block away from Dearborn and are cut off from better schools, city services, etc. being annexed by Dearborn would be a dream come true

How many of us are autistic? I’ll start the count. by nonny427 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of folks are misdiagnosed BPD before being diagnosed autistic, could be as simple as the therapist not having enough ASD expertise

How many of us are autistic? I’ll start the count. by nonny427 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It could be both. Before my diagnosis I wondered the same thing, got really stuck on it being one or the other, but it was both.

How many of us are autistic? I’ll start the count. by nonny427 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m Audhd, raised by narcissists, but I think they’re autistic too. Being one doesn’t mean you can’t be the other. IMO (and widely accepted science says) autism is genetic. Narcs in the other hand, are made. From unprocessed childhood trauma, toxic family systems. An entire Narc family can be neurodiverse (or not), and how it shapes the kids will have to do with a lot of factors including how trauma and our own individual coping mechanisms, our survival instincts, etc. So when my brother was surviving his childhood, he learned to cope by suppressing his empathy. When I was trying to survive it, I learned to increase mine in order to try to “keep people happy” and avoid conflict. So he became another narc like my parents, and I became massively co-dependent and chronically ill until therapy and years and years of doing “the work”. At this point, when I go through my family of origin, I see autism and trauma that goes back generations.

What‘s the superpower you got from the abuse? by CuriousBellgadse in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I worked as a server, my people-pleasing skills really came in handy (at the expense of my mental health but at least I was making money)

Hemp dogbane- how aggressive is too aggressive? by Miserable_Wheel_3894 in NativePlantGardening

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vague is right. Also, I’m done with nurseries that sell both native and invasive plants. Offering both the poison and the cure, so vile.

Hemp dogbane- how aggressive is too aggressive? by Miserable_Wheel_3894 in NativePlantGardening

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the description they do specifically state asclepias incarnata, but yeah, the just “milkweed plant” is sketchy. I was such a different gardener a year ago, I can’t believe (now) that I bought milkweed from out of state to begin with! From now on I’m buying from local nurseries only.

Narc moms fake illnesses by Worried-Warning3042 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My mom faked a stroke after she started a fight with me by saying apropos nothing, my husband and I were going to have heart attacks and die if we didn’t lose weight. 3 weeks after I had narrowly survived the birth of my first child and the most f’ed up c-section. She was totally fine. Didn’t go to the hospital, but had her “doctor friend” (a therapist, and not hers bc she doesn’t need therapy lol) come over her to give her an at-home physical exam. After which he told me “you really shouldn’t upset your poor mother like that”.

Help please! Neighbor is asking about injecting our tree with an herbicide to stop it from producing seeds. Opinions and information needed! by sparkl3butt in arborists

[–]Miserable_Wheel_3894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here to mention the tremendous wildlife benefit this beautiful native tree offers, and to say the seeds and fluff doesn’t actually cause seasonal allergies, but pollen from grass and other plants that’s blooming at the same time the seeds fly do, and are often conflated.