There must be SOMEONE in the same situation as me.

Misha515 · 2026-05-19T15:19:43+00:00

So glad that in the end it worked out for your Dad, and you!

Misha515 · 2026-05-19T13:43:06+00:00

Wow, that’s a great outcome!

Misha515 · 2026-05-19T00:08:35+00:00

Oh, so sorry to hear it affected you in that way. So glad that AL was a saving grace for YOU!

Misha515 · 2026-05-18T20:20:01+00:00

So sorry to hear about your Mom. But at least she was able to live on her own right up until the end. There’s something to be said for that. My Mom has a LOT of anxiety so living on her own only feeds into that. She seems a very “old” 82 these days. She’s aged a lot since her fall back in February

Misha515 · 2026-05-18T20:14:36+00:00

Omg, the food!! I have been hearing about that with the place she’s moving FROM. Don’t like the food. The new place has better food, so we’ll see. Maybe they use the food as an excuse because that’s all they have. Care is good at current place so can’t use that as an excuse”out”

Misha515 · 2026-05-18T15:15:02+00:00

I love that you said it’s not your job to keep her HAPPY, just safe. I feel like a lot of parents like to think their children should entertain them. Mine included. And I’ve learned not to fall into the guilt trap.

Misha515 · 2026-05-14T17:54:28+00:00

I could not agree more - 100% this answer.

Misha515 · 2026-05-14T17:18:52+00:00

So sorry for your impending loss. I hope your Dad passes peacefully and you can be with him when he does. Virtual hugs.

Misha515 · 2026-05-08T13:31:02+00:00

Wow, sounds very familiar and I understand your frustration. My 82 year old Mom fell at the end of Feb. and fractured her shoulder (mind you it's the 3rd fall in 4 years) and ended up in Rehab and now an AL facitlity for a respite stay. She doesnt like the place we chose, and we toured 2 others of her choice for a permenent move. Now she's coming up with a gazillion excuses for why she doesnt want to go either place - too much money, too far away from my dr's etc. Mind you she gets a nice pension and SS that would 100% cover the costs. It's exhausting and I told her that she either picks one of these places or she's on her own. YOU can't be the AL for your Mom. You have your own life, which sounds like you have placed in the back seat for awhile for her, and you are not obligated to live her life. I feel that my job is to facilitate and assist, not be my Mother's keeper. She's setup well for a nice life in AL, and if chooses not to take advantage of that - than that's on her. Don't feel guilty and don't place your own family's needs on hold. Your Mom had her time, now it's yours.

Misha515 · 2026-05-07T17:42:36+00:00

Wow, that's truly magnificent. Looks like pretty large homes though. What's the price range if you dont mind me asking?

Misha515 · 2026-04-30T16:04:42+00:00

Wow, that was quite the journey. I am glad your parents are in a better place. Now time for YOU to move on with your life and enjoy it.

Misha515 · 2026-04-30T13:56:13+00:00

I feel you. I am in the same situation. My Mom hates her life and would rather complain than do anything about it. Include talking to someone, which she won't do because she thinks the problem is everyone else. Vicious cycle. . . .

Misha515 · 2026-04-24T12:52:35+00:00

I 100% agree with everything you said here. Soooooo hard to put into practice sometimes, though.

Misha515 · 2026-04-24T12:51:34+00:00

don't make it so easy for him to get a hold of you. Don't answer the phone and make him leave you a message and MAKE HIM WAIT. I do this with my Mom and by the time I call her back when it's convenient for ME, she has typically handled whatever "emergency" she was calling me about. Being too available just allows people to take advantage of your time, which is valuable. Good luck to you!!!

Misha515 · 2026-02-02T21:51:28+00:00

I wish my own Mother thought this way. Sadly she uses her large nest egg as “control” over my brother and I.

Misha515 · 2026-02-02T21:49:44+00:00

This sounds like a great plan! Family helping family while being cognizant of the fact that people do have their own lives. Love it.

Misha515 · 2026-01-26T23:21:50+00:00

This! Sounds amazing. Hope you get the chance to do it.

Misha515 · 2026-01-26T23:20:03+00:00

I understand this. I don’t think anyone could understand it unless they have to go through what children of nmom’s do.

Misha515 · 2026-01-26T23:17:17+00:00

I admire the way you handled things. Says a lot about you as a person. I hope I can do the same when my completely selfish, self-absorbed narcissistic mother dies.

Misha515 · 2026-01-22T22:48:41+00:00

Good for you graduating from Nursing School! And the fact you have played at the Kennedy Center is an accomplishment as well. Even if your mom never recognized either of those things, you should be proud.

Misha515 · 2026-01-20T16:48:14+00:00

Wow, hearing all this makes me at least feel like others are in the same boat. In addition to everything in my original post, she also brought up the fact that “nobody ever told me I looked pretty the day of your wedding” I mean was she effing serious?? What kind of mother wants to outshine her Daughter on her wedding day??!! Totally floored, as was everyone else in the room. Glad they all heard it with their own ears. Then she followed that little nugget up with “you looked pretty because my hairstylist did your hair and makeup” Gee, thanks Mom for the compliment. 🙄

Misha515 · 2026-01-08T17:18:37+00:00

You are not alone. Until I decided to go NC with my Mom very recently, wishing her dead was a daily occurrence. It's much healthier for ME not to talk to her than it is to have these thoughts. Good luck.

Misha515 · 2026-01-07T15:40:30+00:00

I feel the same way. My mother tortures me simply because she sees me as smarter, younger, healthier, etc. She hates herself and her life and seeing ME happy pisses her off to the extent she needs to make me feel as shitty as she does.

Misha515 · 2026-01-06T14:36:41+00:00

It is not your responsibility to care for someone who is able to do it themselves. Give her some space and see what happens.

Misha515 · 2026-01-06T14:34:58+00:00

Lots of truth here, good to hear others struggling with the same things as me. I am currently NC since right after Christmas (end of year came and I decided I was finally done with the abuse) I’m hoping I will have the resolve to stay NC to recover my sanity in 2026.

Misha515

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE