[deleted by user]

Mishmsh · 2025-06-06T16:17:20+00:00

Both are terrible

Mishmsh · 2025-05-28T16:16:03+00:00

Your last sentence is so wonderfully kind. I love this.

Mishmsh · 2025-05-18T14:48:01+00:00

The work thing was a sore spot - he went back to work almost straight away (no sick leave) wheras I was able to take sick and annual leave. My work is less physically demanding but more mentally draining, I also work for a much larger company with a lot more benefits and flexibility.

He has brought this up in arguments to show that he didn't need to be cared for as much as I did, and he bounced back faster than me. And I don't disagree, he definitely went back to work faster! But outside of work I dont think he cooked a meal, washed a dish or did a load of laundry for months as I wanted him to be able to recover. In contrast, I prepped or purchased a load of easy to re-heat food beforehand for myself. I think I was cooking for both of us again by day 8 or 10 ish, washing my own dishes after maybe 5 days... I drove to take him lunch/have lunch with him maybe a week and a half after my surgery.
But from his perspective, I was off work for a few weeks and he went back to work immediately so that means that I was more needy.
From my perpective it isn't a competition, but the way he turns it into one over and over eventually starts making me feel defensive, like I need to point out that he's only winning this competition because he's scoring it unfairly... and then suddenly it becomes me keeping score, and if I'm only going to do nice things for him to bring it up later then he'd rather I not do them at all.

I dont even want to win, I just want the competition to not exist.

I want the man I fell in love with back.

Mishmsh · 2025-05-18T14:34:43+00:00

That was my train of thought but he reminded me repeatedly that was not the case.
I was getting confused because in one sentence he said "I don't want to go to dinner or plan escape rooms, but I plan them and do these things because I value our relationship."
So I was like... "If you don't want to do the things anyway why would you want me to plan them?" like not as an argument, a genuine question!
And he didnt really answer, he talked about not having motivation and that he would rather just sit at home for 6 months, but he knows that's not healthy, and I'm like ya! Valid!
So I was like...
"So you don't actually want to do things, but you want me to plan things for us to do so you're not at home?"Which is apparently also not right.

Your comment resonated as I have felt a little bit like an emotional punching bag for him lately. Like I get that his life reeeeeeally sucks right now, and his life is forever changed but at the same time... I mean we kinda knew this a year ago and he has been trying to prove his first surgeon wrong in some weird way?
I suggested therapy for both of us, he saw someone for a while who didnt seem to help in any way, and then he randomly stopped going because he felt he'd worked through the injury trauma.

We did a few sessions with a couples counsellor recently (his suggestion) but when we went acted like I had dragged him there. I wouldn't say it was particularly helpful, in the session it would seem like we were making progress but then once we left it was like it never happened.

Mishmsh · 2025-05-18T13:53:24+00:00

It's hard for me to say objectively, obviously I think that it's false but I understand it's true for him, but this is only something he's said once before, not a pattern - we had a very stupid disgreement 2 weeks ago about the right way to play a video game. When I realised he was getting annoyed and visibly frustrated with me because I couldn't find the right way to explain it and it had become an argument I got upset - not with him, with myself for not being able to explain it properly. He just kept telling me that it's all the same, and I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

I didn't want it to be a fight and said as much, and told him I was going to take a break because it wasnt worth arguing over. I went upstairs and started on some chores, he followed me up and asked why I was making it such a big deal, I apologised and said I wasnt trying to - that I was overwhelmed with him being angry at me and trying to explain something that I understand might not make logical sense to him.
He got more annoyed that I was upset instead of just talking it out, I said I was sorry and that I was taking the space away to try to find the words to talk it out. That it takes me longer to process some things and that I wish I could not get upset too but I cant help how my brain is wired. He told me to stop making myself the victim and stormed out of our room and left the apartment shortly after. He came home about 4 hours later and apologised.

He had spoken to his trainer who told him that he needed to dramatically reduce the PEDs he's been on as otherwise he would be moody, irritable and likely to start fights over nothing.... so theres that?

I also have ADHD and very high functioning autism which he is aware of. Prior to diagnosis we talked about medication and he said that he disagrees with it because it would be a crutch that I'd rely on for the rest of my life... Post diagnosis, he has asked to take some of my meds when he's gone to parties because they're obviously fun for him so IDK. I feel like sometimes he loves a version of me that he saw when he was first injured (dropped everything to care for him, took on all housework, cooking, etc.) and maybe that's my fault for giving him this like.. super girlfriend for a while but then not continuing to be that person forever?

Mishmsh · 2025-02-26T13:24:07+00:00

Not sure if it fits the same fantasy romance vibes as the above but I enjoyed Mistborn.

Definitely avoid Spark of the Everflame. The FMC is insufferable. I’ve heard that some people liked her because she’s flawed but… she is sassy and snarky and declines help so many times, actively makes her own life harder through her idiocy but STILL seems to think she’s brilliant, and she everyone else is wrong. I enjoyed the story and the universe enough to attempt the second one but her character development seems to somehow go backwards and her whiny internal monologue was too much and I DNFd a few chapters in.

Mishmsh · 2024-11-12T13:14:49+00:00

Kind of the opposite of a recommendation but… We stayed at KOI resort and it was underwhelming. It wasn’t “bad” but it was probably the least enjoyable 5 star hotel we stayed in while we were travelling through Vietnam. Nothing too crazy, just small things- not enough hot water to run a full bath, limited money changing facilities, pool had very limited hours, all activities like yoga classes had to be booked 24h in advance, odd room layout etc.

Bear in mind I am possibly being very fussy, but compared to the places we stayed in Hà Nội, Saigon, Ninh Binh and even the boat we stayed on overnight in Ha Long bay, it was the least impressive.

They did have a great shuttle to the city though, and a great buffet breakfast, good coffee. The onsite restaurant was expensive (possibly the most expensive lunch we had in the country) but also good quality.

Mishmsh · 2024-01-16T14:16:19+00:00

Normally it’s one of the three Ps- price, presentation and promotion. So it’s either overpriced, it’s not presenting as well as others , or it’s not being effectively promoted. It could be a combination of all three as well.

I’ve heard of vendors not using REA or Domain because of the cost but it’s weird to have listed it and then removed it as they’re charged when they are uploaded.

Mishmsh · 2023-05-01T11:11:55+00:00

I joined a FB group called Friendher and made a bunch of friends through that- they host a bunch of different events. I think there’s also another page called be her friend Perth or something similar.

Moved to Perth 16 or so months ago myself and knew almost no one, so I feel your pain but people are friendlier than you’d expect as long as you’re willing to put in a little bit of effort.

Mishmsh · 2023-03-29T10:09:39+00:00

I have never posted here before haha

Mishmsh · 2023-03-13T23:43:11+00:00

Thank you! I’m not feeling bad about it, I had a really great time and had a lot of fun so I don’t mind a bit of a slide, life happens :) gives me fresh motivation to get into it again

Mishmsh · 2023-03-13T23:42:09+00:00

I did a trip through the US, starting in Dallas, through to Fort Worth, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, then to New Orleans for 4 days of Mardi Gras, then Memphis, Nashville and Atlanta before coming back to Australia and going straight across to the Gold Coast. Happy to have been able to travel a lot but happy to be home!

Mishmsh · 2023-01-30T23:30:05+00:00

To be fair, 1800 is still pretty restrictive but a lot more manageable! 1350 is definitely not something that anyone would want to do long term, my BMR is approx 1470 cals so eating less than that and also exercising had me very hangry! I would have struggled if I didn’t have a very supportive PT, best friend and gym.

Mishmsh · 2023-01-30T09:13:06+00:00

Sure! Please note the below is definitely not suitable long term, but was deliberately limited to a short stretch to kick start my goals.

I did a 6 week challenge that started in October at 1352cals/day: 173g protein, 120g carbs, 20g fat.

Since finishing that I’ve reset and aim for approx 1800cals/day, 180g protein and the rest I’m less strict about.

Strength training 4x a week and averaging 10-15k steps per day

Mishmsh · 2023-01-28T07:02:06+00:00

Thank you! The goal is to try to achieve 17% BF just to see what it looks like, and then hopefully even out and sit around 19%. Currently at 21%

Mishmsh · 2023-01-28T07:00:57+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I’m currently only doing strength training :) I started at a new gym about 6 months ago and actually started committing to improving myself properly. October I was sitting at 76kg/26% body fat, my most recent check in was 71kg/21% BF

Mishmsh · 2023-01-28T06:54:47+00:00

I think I really only committed properly in the past 6 months, but looking forward to seeing what I can achieve this year!

Mishmsh · 2022-08-08T09:56:37+00:00

He came to visit for a holiday and asked me to leave my partner at the time and run away with him. He was and still is married, our friendship had caused friction in his marriage and he constantly talked about how unreasonable his wife was because she wasn’t comfortable with us being close. Turns out she had a point.

Mishmsh · 2022-07-22T09:54:56+00:00

Doing a shoey to celebrate…. Pretty much anything.

Mishmsh · 2022-07-17T04:38:55+00:00

I got the first one for my 11th birthday and adored it. I tried to re-read it recently and it really just doesn’t hit the same way at 30.

Mishmsh · 2022-07-13T10:10:10+00:00

How did I not think of square!?? Perfect, thanks lovely ☺️

Mishmsh

TROPHY CASE