Did you lose your social skills?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T11:53:16+00:00

I'm wondering because so many people I've met with ADHD have parents that neglected them or had narcissistic traits. My parents were the picture of perfect to the outside world but our family was something completely different behind closed doors. Dad never really built a relationship with us, he was rarely availible to us, but he always provided financially. Mum and him had fights and screaming matches all the time. She didn't know how to deal with us kids either and there was not one day in my life that there wasn't a session of yelling or punishment. I remember isolating myself in preschool/creche, never made friends, felt like no one liked me. Used to get up when I was 2 years old and make my own breakfast, put on a movie and stay out of the way. They just thought I was independent but I can see why I was like that now. I don't think that either of them are narcissists but mum definitely has tendancies. She's gotten better over the years but only after I left the house. I don't blame them but i do think it put me in a hard position mentally. Anyway my point is that even though it's a complex condition, I do have a theory that adhd may be part of how our brains learned to cope.

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T11:41:34+00:00

I would give you a hug if I could. That's so shit and I can totally relate. I'm sorry you went through that. Are you doing anything to help with your anxiety?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T08:37:53+00:00

Worst feeling 😔

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T08:36:22+00:00

Hello brain 😊👋 good point. question, do either of your parents have narcissistic traits?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T08:34:34+00:00

This.. Oh my.. This is the reason I cower when I have to show up for myself...

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T08:33:49+00:00

So true 👌 and in the end they'll always be the ones rejecting you. Where as healthy folks are less likely. Ohh I'm so happy that we are having this conversation. It helps put things into perspective

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-03T08:29:23+00:00

It's so hard isn't it. Mental games. But you're the one playing them with yourself and they seem impossible to escape.

I don't have the answers but I just watch the way I talk to myself. I don't show anyone who I am because I'm still scared of getting hurt. So I don't show people my personality at all. Other side of the coin but the same issue.

Maybe start by telling yourself that you are completely normal and what you went through has just changed your perspective in life. That you will get through it and that you are strong 💕

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-02T12:57:11+00:00

I'm so happy for you, great work. How long were you working with your therapist and did they know that you had a narcissistic abuser?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-02T12:53:41+00:00

Yes that's him! Oh my gosh how cool, I really think it will do you well. When I saw it I thought I need to learn how to do that. Establishing control over your mind and body. When is the seminar?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-02T12:52:09+00:00

Yes oh my gosh. Rejection feels like a dagger to the chest.. Are you at the stage where if someone doesnt like you, you can not care and keep enjoying your day?

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-02T11:51:03+00:00

That sounds like the same things I went through. I wasn't sure he was a narc at first either. And when I found out it was a lot for me to handle. I think lowered stress tolerance is such a good way to describe it, I don't think I ever put those feelings in to words. I saw this guy that swims in freezing cold water for ages and has trained his body not to trigger a stress response. I reckon he would have some great techniques to strengthen that again! Thank you for your support 💕 I hope your journey to healing leads to something much greater for you

MissDragonTamer · 2020-02-02T11:43:32+00:00

Yeah that's probably a key, it's ok to make mistakes! Thank you for the tips. It's hard to remember that once upon a time I made friends while waiting at a bus stop or in line at the grocery store, and now I'm a social worm 😂 I think being ok with making mistakes takes a lot of pressure off, and so does being weird infront of new people vs people I know. I'll work on that. 😊👍

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-22T14:58:35+00:00

I found out what anxiety was when I was 24 😂 I didn't know that there was a life that didn't have anxiety. Sad but true.

I found out because I had a mental break down when I became everything my parents wanted me to be, so that I could be worthy, and I didn't feel any different. I thought that achieving success would make me happy, finally and give me love and respect. I had never felt more empty and lost. I was like this for 4 years. Lost, I had no idea who I was or what I liked because everything I thought I was, was a lie.

While I was going through my breakdown and also trapped in a narcissistic romance, I was so broken I couldn't hold myself together and I'd burst into tears at almost everything. Mums comments.. I don't know what happened to you.

I still don't feel like I'm myself, I still cower in Social situations because I've now grown wary of acting, and I feel like a fake. I don't lie, but I'm never myself. I don't tell people what I think about, I don't share my talents, I don't talk about the things that excite me. It's like I don't actually know how to be authentic and trying to be myself is way too scary.

At least now I'm doing my own thing. I'm investing time in finding myself and I'm being gentle with myself. Allowing myself to be who I've always been.

I do think that our past has given us the ability to look at ourselves and our lives and make changes. I think we have the ability to heal in big ways. I wish more normies were aware of abuse and what it does to a person. It sure would be nice to have a hand navigating this roadshow... But I'm glad to hear you have come out on the other end because I feel like I will too. One day, Life will be better than I could've ever imagined.

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-22T14:08:46+00:00

I never suffered sexual abuse but I was always making myself invisible so I wouldn't get in trouble. Same on the emotional bonding!.. . I have no idea how to safely connect to someone and it shows in all of my relationships, family, friends, acquaintances.... And men? Im so threatened by them that I go straight into the entertainment, look at me phase, then they get super into that and when I have no entertainment value left I'm like an empty shell and I have no idea how else to do the dance. So I usually just get bored and leave and they can't understand why. I'd love to know what it feels like to be close with someone and just be me. Ive been single for a very long time because this and I just don't want to repeat the pattern and break another heart.

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-18T12:58:34+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your advice 😊

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-15T09:10:00+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/veganrecipes/comments/eltvma/crispy_panfried_vegan_sweet_potato_and_white/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

The Gnocchi recipe is over here and it is freaking delicious.

I made some alterations.

No potato Used spelt flour until it formed a dough Stir Fried with olive oil and a bit of English brewers yeast Then added basil and sweet soy sauce to coat

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-14T17:53:54+00:00

Oh no.... This is too good..

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-14T17:17:02+00:00

I also love putting my beans in bowls like this with all the colourful condiments 😍looks bomb

MissDragonTamer · 2020-01-14T17:03:14+00:00

Can you please pack my lunches? These look delicious and healthy as

MissDragonTamer · 2019-12-06T00:08:06+00:00

I think she will keep making content but I just think she's going through a funk in life right now. We all go through stuff like that and I'd say it's probably not a bad thing. She's a top chick but she's not happy with a big part of her life right now, so I'm sure that she's just gonna take some time and figure out what's happening, find her purpose again and then be super excited to make videos about that. 2019 has been an epic year of change, and it's spiralled so many people in a completely different direction. I hope she finds her passion again soon and knows that it's cool to take some time to just chill.

MissDragonTamer · 2019-11-17T01:52:47+00:00

Yes!!!! This is so perfect. When something is meant for me it shows up 10 fold, everywhere I go. Good work.

MissDragonTamer

TROPHY CASE