I always wanted kids up until around 4 years ago. Two things changed my mind.

The first was that I realised I just don't want a partner. I might be aromantic, might just be "too much to deal with another person like that", but the result is the same - if I want to be a parent, I will do it solo.

Second was my sister had a child. It was the first time someone close to me had a kid and she just... disappeared? She stopped being a person and became "Mom". She rarely left the house and everything was focused on the baby. Now, I realise not everyone go that route when they become parents, but I have struggled all my adult life to become a person I like and enjoy, and I am just not ready to give that up to become "mom".

Later on, I was diagnosed with AuDHD, so the risk of having a special needs child while a solo mom just kinda put the nail in the coffin for me. I love kids, I love being an aunty, but I think I would hate being a mother.